Nicci swallowed. “I see.”
“But I just don’t think that I’m the one. I don’t know why. I’m not exactly an expert in matters of the heart, but I don’t feel like I’m the one he needs. I just don’t think I could be. If he were to ask it of me, I would do it in a heartbeat…but not because I wanted it, exactly. Do you understand what I mean?”
“You mean you would do it out of your deep respect and caring for him, not out of your personal wish to be his lover.”
“That’s it,” Cara said with a sigh of relief, apparently at having someone else say it aloud. “Besides, I just don’t think that Lord Rahl feels that way about me. When I was sensing his feelings, when we were in each other’s arms, I think I would have known if he felt that way about me, but he doesn’t. He loves me, I know that much, but not in that way.”
Nicci carefully eased out her own breath. “So…that’s what you wanted me to know? That you think his loneliness is the source of his fantasy woman?”
Cara nodded. “Yes…but one more thing, too.”
Nicci glanced down the street, watching men making their way to the stable. “And what would that be?”
“I think that maybe you could be the one.”
Nicci’s heart came up in her throat as she turned to see Cara staring right at her. “What?”
“I think you could be the one for Lord Rahl.” She held up her hands to forestall any argument. “Don’t say anything. I don’t want you to be saying that I’m crazy. Don’t say anything for now. Just think about it. We’ll be leaving shortly and it will be a while until you can come to meet up with us, so you have time and you could think about it. I’m not asking you to sacrifice yourself for him or anything foolish like that.
“I’m just saying that I think Lord Rahl needs someone and you could be that woman—I mean if you felt right about it.
“I’m not the one he needs. I’m Mord-Sith, and Lord Rahl is a wizard. Dear spirits, I hate magic and he is magic. We just aren’t right for each other in all kinds of little ways. But you have so much in common with him. You’re a sorceress. Who could understand him better than you? Who could help him with every aspect of his life better than you?
“I remember back that night at camp, in the shelter, when the two of you were talking about the creative dimension of magic. I didn’t understand half of it, but it struck me then how the two of you could talk so easily to each other and understand each other’s thoughts, ideas, and meaning like no one else could. I remember being taken by how the two of you, well, seemed so right together.
“And I remember thinking, too, when we lay down close to him to keep warm, how good you looked close to him like that. Like a woman would be close to a man she cared about. I remember, for some reason, half expecting him to kiss you. It would have seemed natural.”
Nicci couldn’t make her heart slow down. “Cara, I…” Words failed her.
Cara picked at a strip of pealing paint on the corner board of the building. “Besides, you’re about the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Lord Rahl should have a wife who is his match and I can’t think of a better match than you.”
“Wife…?”
“Don’t you see how much sense it makes? It would fill the emptiness I felt inside him. It would bring him joy and happiness to replace his misery. He would have someone to share his gift and his connection to magic. He wouldn’t be lonely. Just think about it.”
“But, Cara, Richard doesn’t love me.”
Cara appraised her for a long, uncomfortable moment. Nicci recalled then Richard once telling her how paralyzing it felt to be under the scrutiny of a Mord-Sith when she looked into your eyes, really looked into them. Nicci now understood what he meant.
“Maybe he doesn’t feel that way now, but maybe when you come back to join us you could do a little more to let him know you were open to such a notion about the two of you—I mean, if you wanted to, if you were open to the idea. Sometimes people just have to be made aware of something so that they will consider it seriously. That’s why I felt I needed to say something to you. Maybe if he thought you might be open to such a thing then he’d get interested and start looking at you in that light.
“You know, people who are in love had to fall in love at some point. They weren’t born in love with their mate. Maybe you just have to help him get to that point where he will start to think about you in that light. It could even be he thinks that a beautiful, intelligent woman like you could never care for him seriously. Sometimes men are shy that way about a woman they think is extraordinarily beautiful.”
“Cara, I just don’t think he—”
Cara leaned in confidentially. “It could even be that he thinks you would never be interested in him and so he dreamed up this other woman to fill the void.”
Nicci wet her lips. “I think we had better get over to the stable or he may leave without you. He seems pretty set on leaving.”
Cara offered a smile. “You’re right. Look, Nicci, if you’d rather, you could just forget I said anything. I can see that I’m making you uncomfortable. I don’t exactly feel right about saying anything, anyway.”
“Then why did you?”
Cara gazed off wistfully. “I guess because as I was holding him, and I felt the depth of his loneliness, it just broke my heart.” Her gaze drifted back to Nicci’s. “And Mord-Sith don’t get broken hearts all that often.”
Nicci almost said that neither did sorceresses.
Chapter 22
Lanterns hanging from stout posts lent a cozy glow to the stable. The dusty smell of fresh straw hung thick in the wide passageway running in front of the stalls and pens. Men and women, some with their children along, had filled the walkway and in a few places spilled over into the empty pens, but now, after Richard had talked to the relatives of the men who had been killed, many had bid him a safe journey and started for their homes.
Dawn was still a couple of hours off. Despite the hour, there had been a number of people other than grieving relatives who had come to ask questions about the impending battle for their city. More people, sitting on hay bales, had watched from the loft but now many had started down the ladders. Richard supposed that they would be going back to bed to catch a little more sleep. He knew that their sleep would be troubled by worries about the soldiers marching toward their city.
Victor, standing nearby, looked grim after speaking about the bravery of his men and how much he would miss each of them.
Many people wept openly as they’d listened. Richard had known that nothing he could have said would have lifted their grief. He had done his best to make them understand what good men he thought they had been, and how much he cared for them. In the end, all he could really do was sympathize with their loss. He had felt helpless and useless, even though they had seemed to appreciate the things he’d said.
From the corner of his eye, Richard caught sight of Nicci and Cara as they came in the big doorway at the end of the stable. They had to ease their way among people who were leaving. He had been wondering where the two of them had gone to, but, surrounded by people all wanting to speak with him, he hadn’t had a chance to go check. He’d figured that either they had wanted to let him have the time to talk to people, or else Cara had wanted to look around outside to make sure that all was well. Either way, he was glad to see their faces.
“So that’s what you think, then, that this thing, this beast, that crashed through the walls of Ishaq’s inn was after you?” an older man named Henden asked as he paused beside Richard. He held a pipe with a long curved stem in one hand, his elbow propped on a rail as he spoke.
The skin on his thin, leathery face sagged with the weight of years. Because he was older, and possessed a quiet, prudent manner, many in the crowd had deferred to his earlier questioning of Richard. Henden drew air in through his pipe and released aromatic clouds of smoke from the opposite side of his mouth as he waited for Richard’s answer.
“Like I said, the evidence seems to po
int to it so I think it probably was. But whatever it was, it’s likely that it was coming after me, so you can see why I think it’s best if I leave now and not risk that thing coming after me again in the city and maybe causing harm to a lot of people here.”
The man removed the pipe from his mouth and gestured toward Richard with the stem. “You mean like those men with Victor were harmed as a result of you being near?”
Victor stepped forward. “Now look here, Henden, it’s not Lord Rahl’s fault that evil people are trying to kill him. Those same evil people want to come here and kill us as well—beast or no beast. Would you be to blame if Jagang’s soldiers coming to kill you happened to harm Lord Rahl on their way to get you?
“My men were fighting against the Imperial Order when they were cut down by something evil. That evil was spawned by the Order. They were fighting for a world for themselves and their families in which they could live their lives free and safe. They made the choice to do that rather than live in subjugation.”
Henden chewed on the pipe’s stem a moment as his placid eyes considered Victor. “Just asking. Only think it’s reasonable to know what the situation is and what we’re up against.”
Richard saw heads among the men and women nodding.
“You’re right, it is reasonable,” he told the man before Victor could get any hotter. “I don’t begrudge a man asking questions, especially where lives are concerned. But Victor is right as well. Jagang is intent on killing us all and, as I’ve told you, the Order needs to be stopped or none of us, no matter where we are, will ever be able to rest easy.”