“Myself? What do you mean?”
“It would make you obsessed with the subject of the glamour to the exclusion of anything else. It would make people think there was something wrong with you, think you were crazy.
“It would make people begin to doubt you, and therefore your cause.
“This spell would condemn you to a living death. It would destroy everything that means anything to you. It would give you a mad obsession that you totally believe is something real, but that you can never satisfy. There is good reason why using a glamour spell was a serious crime.
“In this case, at the same time as you go about trying to find the object of your manufactured memory, you see your cause begin to crumble because those you inspired and who believed in you now start to think that if you’re crazy, then maybe the things you’ve said were crazy as well.”
Richard imagined that a victim of such a web would not be able to recognize the glamour spell within himself. And it was certainly true that nearly everyone was coming to think he was crazy.
“Truth does not depend on the person who says it. The truth is still the truth even if stated by someone you don’t respect.”
“That may be true, Richard, but others don’t necessarily act with such clear insight.”
He sighed. “I guess not.
“As far as the beast, Jagang does not necessarily count on just one thing to do the job and he has no reluctance to do more than is necessary to crush his opponents. He might have figured that two plagues will be more certain to end the threat of Richard Rahl than one alone.”
Richard certainly didn’t doubt what she said about Jagang. Still, he didn’t believe it. “Jagang didn’t even know where I was. Those troops just happened across me as they were sweeping the woods, checking for threat, for their supply convoy.”
“He knows you started the revolt down in Altur’Rang. He might have ordered that his troops in the area carry arrows that were spelled by his Sisters just in case they ran across you.”
Richard could see that she had indeed been doing a lot of thinking. She had an answer for everything.
He opened his arms out to the side and lifted his chin. “Then lay your hands on me, sorceress. Grab the spell and pull its wicked tentacles out of me. Restore my sanity. If you really believe that a glamour spell is the cause of all of this, then use your gift to seek it out and put an end to it.”
Nicci turned her gaze away and stared out the broken doorway at the gloom within the base of the huge tower.
“To do that, I would need the arrow. It no longer exists. I’m sorry, Richard. I never thought to check the arrow for a spell before I eliminated it. I was frantic to get it out of you in order to save your life. Still, I should have checked.”
He laid a hand on the back of her shoulder. “You didn’t do anything wrong, my friend. You saved my life.”
“Did I?” She turned to him. “Or did I condemn you to a living death?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. Like you said, you wouldn’t let me believe something if you thought the evidence was insufficient. That body buried down there wasn’t sufficient proof. Yet, at the same time, it shouldn’t have been there, so I’m convinced that it proves that something really is going on. I just haven’t figured out what.”
“Or it proves that maybe your story is nothing more than part of a fabrication spawned by the mad obsession of a glamour spell.”
“No one remembers what happened and that Kahlan isn’t buried there, but I do. It’s something solid that shows me, at least, that I’m not imagining all this.”
“Or it is simply part of the delusion—whatever its cause. Richard, this just can’t go on forever. It has to come to a close at some point. You’re at a dead end. Have you come up with anything else to try?”
He put his hands on the stone wall of the sliph’s well. “Look, Nicci, I admit that I’m running out of ideas, but I’m not ready to give up on her, to give up on her life. She means too much to me to do that.”
“And how long do you think you can wander around not giving up on her, all the while the Imperial Order marches ever closer to our forces? I don’t like Ann’s meddling in my life any more than you like her meddling in yours, but she isn’t doing it because she is trying to be malicious. She’s trying to preserve freedom. She’s trying to save innocent people from being slaughtered by brutes.”
Richard swallowed back the lump in his throat.
“I need to think about things, to gather my thoughts. I found some books in that room back there. I want to study them for a while, just a while, and try to think things through, try to see if I can figure out what’s happening and why. If I can’t think of something…I just need to think of what to do next.”
“And if you can’t think of what to do next?”
Richard leaned on both hands as he stared off into the dark well, doing his best to stifle his tears.
“Please…”
If he only knew who to fight, if only he could strike out at an enemy. He didn’t know how to fight shadows in his mind.
Nicci laid a hand gently on his shoulder. “All right, Richard. All right.”
Chapter 55
Nicci knocked on the round-top oak door and waited. Rikka, standing at her back, waited with her.
“Come in,” came a muffled voice.
Nicci thought that it sounded like Nathan’s deep, powerful voice, rather than Zedd’s. Inside the small, round room that Richard’s grandfather was fond of using, she saw the prophet along with Ann, her hands pushed into opposite sleeves of her simple, dark gray dress as she stood patiently waiting for their invited guest. Nathan, in dark brown trousers and high boots, with a ruffled white shirt under a sweeping cloak, looked more like an adventurer than a prophet.
Zedd, in his simple robes, stood quietly at a round leaded window between book cabinets with glassed doors, his hands clasped behind his back. He appeared to be lost in thought as he gazed out at the city of Aydindril far below at the base of the mountain. It was a beautiful view; Nicci could understand why he favored the cozy room. Rikka started pushing the thick oak door closed.
“Rikka, dear,” Ann said with a Prelate’s practiced smile, drawing the Mord-Sith’s attention, “my throat is still terribly dry from all that smoke yesterday when that dreadful creature set the library ablaze. Would you mind making me some tea, maybe with a spot of honey?”
Rikka, holding the half-closed door, shrugged. “Not at all.”
“Any of your biscuits left?” Nathan asked with a wide smile. “Your biscuits were wonderful, especially when they’re warm.”
Rikka gazed briefly at everyone in the small room. “I will bring biscuits and tea along with some honey.”
“Thank you so much, my dear,” Ann said, the smile never breaking, as Rikka vanished out the door.
Zedd, still watching out the window, hadn’t said anything.
Nicci, ignoring Ann and Nathan, instead turned and addressed Zedd. “Rikka said that you wanted to see me.”
“That’s right,” Ann said in his place. “Where is Richard?”
“Down in that place I told you about, the place he found between the shields where he will be safe. He is reading, looking for information, doing what a Seeker does, I suppose.” With exaggerated care, Nicci folded her fingers together. “So, the three of you want to talk to me about Richard.”
Nathan huffed a short laugh that transformed itself into a throat-clearing cough when Ann glanced his way. Zedd, standing with his back to the rest of them, stared out the window without saying anything.
“You always were a bright one,” Ann said.
“It wasn’t exactly a guess that required great intellect,” Nicci said, not wanting to allow Ann to get away with such empty flattery. “If you please, withhold your praise until I do something to deserve it.”
Both Nathan and Ann smiled. Nathan’s even looked genuine.