“How will you die?” Johnrock asked.
Richard was sick of watching the distant ramp, of contemplating the dark and savage future the Order would enforce on everyone. Johnrock’s question, though, wasn’t exactly a ray of sunshine in the gloom. Richard slumped back against the inside of the wheel on the far side of the wagon as he ate eggs.
“You think I will have a choice?” he finally asked. “A say in the matter?” Richard rested a forearm over his knee, gesturing with half an egg. “We make choices about how we will live, Johnrock. I don’t think we have nearly so much say about how we will die.”
Johnrock looked surprised by the answer. “You think we have a choice about how we live? Ruben, we have no choice.”
“We have choices,” Richard said without explanation. He popped the half of an egg in his mouth.
Johnrock lifted the chain attached to his collar. “How can I make any choice?” He gestured out at the encampment. “They are our masters.”
“Masters? They have chosen not to think for themselves and instead to live according to the teachings of the Order. In so doing they are not even the masters of their own lives.”
Johnrock shook his head in astonishment. “Sometimes, Ruben, you say the strangest things. I am a slave. I am the one with no choice, not them.”
“There are chains stronger than those attached to the collar around your neck, Johnrock. My life means a great deal to me. I would give my life to save the life of someone I hold dear, someone I value.
“Those men out there have chosen to sacrifice their lives to a mindless cause that produces only suffering—they have already given up their lives and gotten nothing of any value in return. Is that choosing to live? I don’t think so. They wear chains that they have put around their own necks, chains of a different kind, but chains nonetheless.”
“I fought when they came to take me. The Imperial Order won. Now I am chained here. Those men live, but if we try to be free we will die.”
Richard wiped the remaining bits of shell off an egg. “We all have to die, Johnrock—every one of us. It is how we choose to live that matters. After all, it’s the only life each one of us will ever have, so how we live is of paramount importance.”
Johnrock chewed for a moment as he thought it over. Finally, with a grin, he seemed to dismiss the whole matter. “Well, if I do end up having to choose how I will die, I wish it to be to the cheers of the crowd for how well I played the game.” He glanced over at Richard. “And you, Ruben? If you have to choose?”
Richard had other things on his mind—important things. “I hope not to have to decide the matter this day.”
Johnrock sighed heavily. The eggs looked tiny in the man’s meaty fists. “Maybe not today, but I think this place is the end of the games…I think that in this place we finally lose our lives.”
Richard didn’t answer, so Johnrock spoke again into the drone of the downpour. “I’m serious.” He frowned. “Ruben, are you listening, or are you still dreaming about that woman you think you saw when we came into camp yesterday?”
Richard realized that he was, and that he was smiling. Despite everything, he was smiling. Despite how true Johnrock’s words were—that they very well might die in this place—he was smiling. Still, he didn’t want to discuss Kahlan with the man.
“I saw a lot of things when we rolled into this camp.”
“Soon enough, after the games,” Johnrock said, “and if we do well, there will be women enough. Snake-face has promised us. But now there are just soldiers and more soldiers. You must have been seeing phantoms yesterday.”
Richard stared off at nothing, nodding. “I guess you’re far from the first to think that she’s a phantom.”
Johnrock heaved a length of chain out of his way and scooted closer to Richard. “Ruben, you’d better get your head straight or we’re going to get ourselves killed before we even get a chance to play the emperor’s team.”
Richard looked up. “I thought you were ready to die.”
“I don’t want to die. Not today, anyway.”
“There you go, Johnrock, you have made a choice. Even chained up, you have made a choice about your life.”
Johnrock shook a thick finger at Richard. “Look here, Ruben, if I end up getting killed playing Ja’La, I don’t want it to be because you have your head in the clouds, dreaming of women.”
“Just one woman, Johnrock.”
The big man leaned back and flicked eggshells off his fingers. “I remember. You said that you saw the woman you want to be your wife.”
Richard didn’t correct him. “I just want for us to play well and win all our games so that we can have the chance to play the emperor’s team.”
Johnrock’s grin returned. “Do you really think we can beat the emperor’s team, Ruben? Do you think we can survive such a game with those men?”
Richard cracked the shell of another egg on the side of his heel. “You’re the one who wants to die to cheers of the crowds for how well you’ve played.”
Johnrock gave Richard a sidelong glance. “Maybe I will do as you say and choose to live free, yes?”
Richard only smiled before biting the egg in half.
Not long after Richard and Johnrock had finished the last of their meal, Commander Karg appeared, his boots splashing as he marched toward them through the mud.
“Get out here! All of you!”
Richard and Johnr
ock crawled out from under the wagon into the drizzle. Other captives at wagons to either side stood up, waiting to hear what the commander wanted. Soldiers who were on the team gathered closer.
“We’re going to have visitors,” Commander Karg announced.
“What kind of visitors?” one of the soldiers asked.
“The emperor is touring the teams that arrived for the tournament. Emperor Jagang and I go way back. I expect you to show him that I’ve done well in selecting a worthy team. Any man who doesn’t reflect well on me, or who fails to show the proper respect for our emperor, will be of no use to me.”
Without further word, the commander hurried away.
Richard could feel himself swaying on his feet as his heart pounded. He wondered if Kahlan would be with Jagang, as she had been the day before. While he desperately wanted to see her again, he hated to think of her being anywhere near that man. For that matter, he hated to think of her being anywhere near any of these men.
Over the winter, when Nicci had captured Richard and taken him down to the Old World, Kahlan, in his place, had led the D’Haran forces. She was the one responsible for keeping Jagang from having the victory back then that he might otherwise have had. She had been responsible for whittling down the ranks of Order soldiers, even if the endless supplies from the Old World had included reinforcements that more than replenished all the men lost. Kahlan had not only delayed the invaders, but earned their undying hatred for all the pain she had inflicted upon them. Were it not for Kahlan the Order probably would have caught the D’Haran army and slaughtered them. She had kept them one step ahead of Jagang and just out of his reach.
Trying to look composed, Richard leaned back against the wagon and folded his arms as he waited. Before long he caught sight of an entourage off to the left making their way through the encampment. They were moving down the line of teams in the distance, pausing at regular intervals along the way to take a closer look.