Confessor (Sword of Truth 11)

“Sorry,” Kahlan said. “I should have thought of that.”

Actually, she had, but she had thought that maybe it might be worse if she covered Nicci and the sheet stuck to the wounds. She could certainly understand, though, why Nicci would want to be covered.

Kahlan stretched, caught the edge of the gold bedcover and pulled it up. Ever mindful of the collar, she had to be careful not to let herself get up from the floor.

“Thanks,” Nicci said as she at last was able to pull the silk cover the rest of the way over herself.

“Don’t be ashamed,” Kahlan said.

Nicci frowned a little. “What do you mean?”

“You should never be ashamed to be a victim. It wasn’t through any fault of yours. The only thing you should feel is anger at such a violation. You didn’t do anything to encourage it. It was rape, just as you said it was.”

Nicci smiled a little as she touched Kahlan’s cheek. “Thanks.”

Kahlan took a deep breath. “Jagang has promised to do much the same to me as he did to you.”

Nicci’s hand tightened on Kahlan’s, offering in turn some solace.

Kahlan hesitated, but then went on. “The only reason he hasn’t yet is because he wants it to be worse than it would be if he did it now. He told me that he wants to wait until I know who I am. He says that when I remember my past and who I am it will be all the worse for me. He says that he wants ‘him’ to see it. Jagang says that he wants to destroy us both in that way, to destroy everything.”

Nicci closed her eyes, covering them with a hand as if unable to bear the thought of it.

“It seems pretty obvious that he has to be talking about someone from my past. Do you know who this ‘he’ is?”

Nicci’s answer was a long moment in coming. “I’m sorry, but I don’t remember you, or your past. All I know is the things I’ve heard, like your name and that you are the Mother Confessor.”

Kahlan nodded. She didn’t think she was getting the whole truth. She felt pretty confident that Nicci knew more than she was admitting. Kahlan thought it best, though, not to press her on the subject. At that moment, forcing her to do anything she didn’t want to do seemed too cruel to contemplate. Maybe she had her own reasons for not wanting to say more. Maybe those reasons were strictly personal and none of Kahlan’s business.

Kahlan smiled, determined to steer away from the gloom of such a dark subject. “I liked all the things you said about Richard Rahl. This Richard sounds like my kind of man.”

Nicci smiled the slightest bit. “You are both good people.”

Kahlan rubbed a thumb back and forth on the edge of the bedcover. “What’s he like? I keep hearing things about him. Every time I turn around, in fact, it seems as if the phantom of Richard Rahl is somehow haunting my life.” Kahlan looked up. “What’s he really like?”

“I don’t know. He’s just…Richard. He’s a man who cares deeply for those he loves.”

“From what you told Jagang you seem to know how he feels about a great many things. You seem to be there at his side a lot. It sounds like he cares a great deal for you.”

Nicci dismissed the suggestion with a flick of a hand. She looked over at Kahlan.

“There are regular soldiers outside Jagang’s tent. Do you know why?”

The abrupt change of topic told Kahlan that she was probing into things Nicci didn’t want to talk about. Kahlan wondered why not.

She turned her attention to Nicci’s question. “The soldiers are there because they can see me. Very few people can. Sister Ulicia told Jagang that she thinks it’s just an anomaly. After I killed two of his guards and Sister Cecilia—”

Her expression intense, Nicci lifted her head a little. “You killed Sister Cecilia?”

“Yes.”

“How did you manage to kill a Sister of the Dark?”

“It was back in Caska, the place where you and Richard saw Jillian.”

“Who told you that?”

“Jillian.”

Nicci’s head sank back down. “Oh.”

“Jillian said she helped Richard find the Chainfire book he was hunting for down in the catacombs of Caska. That’s also where Jagang finally captured Sisters Ulicia, Armina, and Cecilia. They thought they were going to meet up with Sister Tovi when they got there. As it turned out, Tovi was already dead and it was Jagang who was there waiting for them. They were pretty surprised.”

“I bet they were,” Nicci said.

“Like just about everyone else, Jagang’s guards couldn’t see me, so while the dream walker was busy with the Sisters, arguing over a book, I pulled the guards’ knives out of their sheaths. Since they couldn’t see me, they had no idea the danger they were in. As they stood silently watching over their emperor I used their own weapons to run them through.

“Before they even hit the floor I pushed Jillian out ahead of me into the maze of tunnels. As everyone came rushing out the doorway behind us I threw a knife. I’d been hoping to get Jagang with the knife but it was Sister Cecilia who came through the doorway first. They caught me after that, but it had been enough to help Jillian escape.”

Kahlan let out a heavy sigh. “In the end it didn’t do any good. Jagang returned to the encampment with the other two Sisters and me, but he sent men to search for Jillian. They finally found her and brought her back.

“She is Jagang’s way of making me comply with his wishes. He promised me that if I make him angry by not doing as I’m told he will do terrible things to her.”

“He is a ruthless man.”

Kahlan nodded. “After what I did, though, Jagang realized that he needed some guards who could see me, so he searched the camp looking for men who could. He found a number of them. There are thirty-eight left.”

Nicci glanced over at Kahlan. “You mean there were more at first?”

“Yes.”

“Then what happened to the rest?”

Kahlan stared resolutely into Nicci’s eyes. “Whenever I get the chance I kill them.”

Nicci smiled broadly. “Good girl.”

Kahlan smiled with her, but then the smile faded. “Now, if I kill any more, it will mean torture for Jillian.”

Nicci’s expression reflected her concern for Jillian. “Don’t ever doubt him. He will do it without hesitation.”

“I know. Do you have any idea why there are a few people who can see me when almost no one can? Do you know if it’s really an anomaly, as Sister Ulicia says?”

“The Sisters used a Chainfire spell on you. It made everyone forget you. Richard discovered that there is a defect in the spell and it—”

“See what I mean? Richard again, tied up in my life.” She shook her head. “Sometimes I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not.” When Nicci said nothing, she urged her to go on. “So, how did he ever discover the defect?”

“It’s a long story. Basically, we were trying to find a way to undo the Chainfire spell.”

“You were trying to help me? But you said you don’t remember me. Why would you be doing such a thing if no one remembers me?”

When Nicci had to lie back, laboring to breathe, Kahlan said, “Sorry. I know I ask a lot of questions, it’s just that…”

“We’re trying to stop the damage being done to everyone,” Nicci finally managed after enduring a shiver of pain. “The whole problem is broader than people only forgetting you. The Chainfire spell has tangled us all up in it. If it runs free it could even end life itself.”

Kahlan silently reprimanded herself for even fantasizing that Richard Rahl had actually been trying to save her, that maybe he knew her and she meant something to him.

“I was running a verification web,” Nicci said. “Richard saw indications in the spell—unique designs—that told him that it was contaminated. It explained a lot. We need to undo the Chainfire spell because, while it does make everyone forget you, it causes larger problems.”

“What kind of larger problems?”

Nicci paused to

draw a few rattling breaths, wincing in pain, before going on. “Since it’s contaminated, the damaging effects of the spell expanded in unexpected ways. We fear that, unchecked, it will destroy the minds of those it has infected. I think that the contamination may be responsible for the spell not working as intended. As a result, there are a few isolated instances of people who apparently aren’t affected.”

“Why am I at the center of all of this?”

In the silence Kahlan could hear an oil lamp hissing softly. The sounds of the camp outside the tent seemed like they were in another world altogether.

“The Sisters used the spell on you so they could send you into the palace, unseen, to steal the boxes of Orden for them. The key to the boxes is a book called The Book of Counted Shadows. They need a Confessor to confirm if the book they are using is the true key to the boxes.”

“I’ve seen the book,” Kahlan said. She knew that Nicci was telling the truth about that much of it, because Jagang had already demanded that Kahlan confirm if the book was a true copy or a fake. She had proclaimed it a false copy.

She knew that there also had to be more to it, but for some reason Nicci was carefully dancing around secrets.