Logan (Carolina Reapers 4)

“And the entire time I was sleeping with one,” she laughed with self-deprecation. “I have been trying to figure out why me. Was it a game? Some kind of bet? Did you joke around with your buddies in the locker room about how long you could keep me going?”

“You know better than that.” Just the thought of it made me sick.

“But I don’t. You said you were in sales!”

I flinched. “Actually, I think I said that I helped sell tickets, which...I do.”

Her jaw dropped. “Are. You. Kidding. Me?”

Shit. Wrong tactic.

“I fell in love with you, Delaney! Head over heels. And I was fucking terrified that if I told you, you would leave me, and guess what? You did!”

“Because you didn’t tell me!” she shouted, coming off the rail and glaring at me. “I had to find out from the man who ripped me to shreds because we happened to stumble onto him on the street! You didn’t tell me! He did! Do you have any idea how stupid you made me feel? Anyone else, Logan. Anyone!”

My heart cracked, losing another piece.

“I know. God, Delaney, I know. I was going to tell you! You saw the jersey! I was taking you home to tell you!”

“Are you really blaming your four months of lies on tragic timing?” She arched an eyebrow.

Damn it. Nothing was coming out right.

“No. I was wrong. I should have told you. I wanted to tell you. God, I would have given anything to turn around at a game and see you there, cheering me on when we won or cheering me up when we lost. I wanted you in my full life.”

She swallowed and wrapped her arms around her middle. “You didn’t trust me to begin with, and I get that. I didn’t trust you, either. But you never started trusting me, Logan. And that’s what love is built on. Trust.”

“Really? Because I thought it was built on this fucking feeling in my chest.” I tapped my sternum. “The one that aches the minute you’re out of sight and seems to glow when I think about you. The one that explodes with incomparable joy when you’re in my arms. The pulse that demands I race to you every time I get home from an away game, and the calm, soothing waves that wash over me when I think about the future I want with you. That feeling is everything, Delaney. The rest of it—trust, apologies, truth—we can work on that as long as that feeling is still right here.” I stepped forward and laid my palm over her top button. “You love me. I know you do.”

“I don’t feel that way about you,” she whispered. “I need trust. I need to believe that when you tell me something, it’s the truth. That’s my need, and you took that away.” She stepped back, and my hand fell from her. “The only thing I feel is heartbroken.”

My own heart jumped, like it could lunge through my chest to fix hers.

“Then let me heal you. Let me fix this. I love every single thing about you, Delaney. I will make this right for you—for us.”

Her face puckered, and her shoulders hitched as she shook her head. “There’s no heart left to heal, Logan. That love was based on a lie. There’s no future for us. This”—she motioned between our bodies—“is over. You go back to your fast cars and your sponsors and legions of adoring fans. There’s no room for you here.” She tapped her own chest.

My resolve started to crumble, and I held myself together with sheer willpower.

“No,” I argued. “I’m not taking that for an answer. You love me. You know me. Sure, maybe you didn’t know what I did to fill my bank account, but you. Know. Me. You know me better than anyone. Just because you didn’t know what I do, doesn’t mean you don’t know who I am. I’m the same man who talked about renting a beach house with you. The same one who brought you ice cream. The same one you threw books at.”

“And you’re the same man who stood there and lied to me for months,” she whispered. “I can’t. I just can’t go there with you.”

“I’m not him!” I cried. “Stop punishing me for what he did to you! I would never—”

“Let me believe that you were one person only to actually be completely different under all the pretty words and the gorgeous face?”

I blanched. It was the first time she’d ever said I was gorgeous, but this...it wasn’t a compliment.

“You were so consumed trying to prove that you weren’t my ex, that you became just like him. Except you didn’t hurt my body, you shredded my heart.” She backed away until her hand was on the library door. “And now there’s nothing. Goodbye, Logan.”