Sawyer (Carolina Reapers 2)

“Why are you doing this?” I walked forward, but she retreated until she hit the back of the couch. “You know you love me.”

“Yeah,” she admitted with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “And that love is killing you. I can’t be responsible for pulling you under, and you can’t make me settle down. Bird and a fish. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. We’re over.”

“I don’t accept this.”

“You don’t have a choice.”

We locked eyes across the five or so feet that separated us, and I felt it—her withdrawal. She was locking herself up behind those walls that I couldn’t crack unless she let me. She was the strongest woman I’d ever known, and she was using that strength against me.

“Echo, what do you want me to do? I love you. I’ll get a restraining order against Chad. I’ll hire bodyguards for the bar. I’ll sell the house in Sweet Water and buy a condo in Langley’s building. Tell me what you need.”

“I just need you to leave.” Her eyes fluttered closed. “I’m not one of your problems to fix.”

“Echo—” I shook my head.

“Stop making this harder than it has to be and get out!” she snapped, pointing to the doors as two tears tracked down her cheeks.

Pain. There was so much pain in that cry, but she wouldn’t let me soothe her. I’d done everything to prove to her that I would stay. That I wouldn’t abandon her, and it still wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough for her.

“You know what your problem is?” I asked softly, but she didn’t open her eyes. “You love me, and it scares the shit out of you. You’re so focused on your fears that you’ve locked yourself away.”

She stood there, tears tracking down her cheeks with her eyes squeezed tightly shut.

My heart shattered as I realized there was nothing I could do.

I finally nodded and made my way to her door. The handle felt cold, just like the rest of me. “When you look back on this, and I know you will, you’ll see it differently. You’ll tell the next guy that you were too much for me. That I wanted a different life than you did, so I walked out—I left you. And physically, I guess you’re right since it’s your house and I can’t exactly force you to let me stay. I actually have to walk away. But you’re not alone because people leave you, Echo. You’re alone because you make it impossible to stay. You push everyone away, and that’s on you.”

I mentally gathered what was left of my broken heart and did exactly what she’d demanded.

I walked away.

18

Echo

“Well well well,” Chad droned as I approached him with clenched fists. “Look who it is. Ms. Holier-than-thou decides to finally slum it again?”

I rolled my eyes, drawing in a long breath to calm my racing heart. It hadn’t taken too many guesses for me to find him. It was Memorial Day, so naturally his family was having their regular barbecue. I should have been spending the day in the solace of my loft, mourning my family in a quiet, calm, respectful way. And quite possibly mourning my own soul since I’d shredded it by pushing Sawyer away two days ago. But I was too enraged for that. Too angry at everything the man before me had cost me.

“You’re an idiot, Chad,” I said, seething. “You were a stockbroker.” I pronounced the word slow so he would understand. “You were the one slumming it with me. Don’t get it twisted.” I shook my head. “I can’t help what you’ve become because no matter how blue collar I was compared to your family…” I eyed them all in their finery, holding champagne flutes and gaping at me like they didn’t love a good scene. “I wasn’t the one who turned you into what you are. Poison.”

Chad swallowed hard, glancing over his shoulder at his gawking family before pulling me off to the other side of his house. “What are you doing here?”

“Not fun, is it? Having your past show up where it isn’t wanted?”

“What’s your issue?”

I scoffed. He had some fucking nerve. “My issue?” I laughed a manic laugh. “My issue is that you cost me everything!”

He tucked his hands into his pockets. “Finally realized what you let go of?”

“Not you,” I snapped. “Sawyer.”

He flinched, his eyes flaring a fraction. “I can’t be blamed if he up and left you because he finally realized what trash you are.”

I cringed, pure disgust rolling through my veins at the man standing before me. He wasn’t who I’d fallen for all those years ago. He never would be. And that stupid notion of hope had kept me cordial with him for far too long. Kept me wishing I could help him get better so we could go our separate ways as better people.