Sawyer (Carolina Reapers 2)

“You don’t want a pink house.”

“I want you.” My phone buzzed again, and I silenced it once more.

“And I want you.” Her admission was a whisper, but it screamed through my entire being.

“Then have me,” I offered.

Her face fell, and took my heart with it. “I think our timing is off.”

“How?”

She looked up at the ceiling, and the tear that fell from her eye broke me all over again. “What you said about me pushing everyone away—”

“I’m sorry for saying that.”

“No. You were right.” She swiped at the tear with her good hand and met my eyes again. “It’s easier to force you out than to wait for you to realize how wrong we are for each other all on your own. I saw what Chad did to you—and what he could have done, and I took the chance to push you as far away from me as possible.”

“What Chad did isn’t your fault. And I don’t see that we’re wrong for each other.” I leaned over and brushed away another tear with my thumb. “We’re opposites, sure, but do you really want to spend your life with someone who’s exactly like you? I’d be bored out of my mind, and you’d end up insane.”

My phone rang again, and I turned the ringer off.

“You’d better answer that,” Echo muttered.

“Nothing else in the world matters,” I countered.

“I hate how you do that!” she cried, covering her eyes with her good hand.

“How I don’t answer my phone?”

“How you make me feel like I’m the only person in the world for you. You melt all of my fucking defenses when you say shit like that!”

“Good!”

She shook her head. “It’s not good. Maybe we are the right people for each other, but it’s the wrong time. I have to trust myself enough to be with you.”

“And I have to figure out how to live without the responsibility of my mom on my shoulders,” I added.

She moved her hand and looked at me, her lips parting.

“Yeah, I’m not blameless in this,” I said with a nod. “I’ve taken care of my mom since I was fifteen. In every other relationship I’ve had, Mom was still the number one girl in my life. She had to be. But now she’s taking off to live with my aunts, and part of me is scared shitless, and the other part is…” I sighed. “I’m relieved,” I admitted. “As shitty as that makes me, I have this feeling of excitement that maybe there’s this whole world waiting for me where I don’t have to freak out about doctor’s appointments or her schedule. I don’t have to spend hours in the car a week traveling to see her. And I’ll miss her—holy shit will I miss her—but I also feel...free.”

She listened without judgment or condemnation in her eyes.

“And that makes me think of all the time I’ll have to prioritize you—when you’re ready. I don’t think our timing is off. I think we can go through all of this together. But if you do, then I’m not going to force you into something you don’t want.”

“You’re not?” Her eyes widened.

“I’m not.” I shook my head and stroked her cheek with my thumb. “What I’m going to do is wait. If you have shit you need to figure out, then figure it out. I’m not afraid to wait for you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, Echo. I’ll wait.”

Her lip quivered. “But you’ll find someone else in the meantime. I mean, look at you. The women will be lined up, and they’ll all be a better fit for you than I am.”

That right there—that’s what she had to work on, and it killed me that I couldn’t fix it for her. I couldn’t help.

“East Coast, there is no one in this world who fits me better than you do. We’re both fucked up puzzle pieces—all jagged and torn. But somehow, we fit. And the truth is that I don’t think anyone else ever will—for either of us. So I’m going to wait until you’re just as certain of that as I am. Until you’re certain of me.”

“Sawyer McCoy!” a voice boomed down the hallway.

Both Echo and I turned to the door just as it was thrown open. Lukas and Axel marched in, both gawking when they saw Echo in the bed.

“Holy shit. Echo, are you all right?” Axel asked.

“Car accident,” she answered with a shrug. “Let me guess, you guys totaled your passenger seats, too?”

“What?” Lukas asked, managing to close his mouth. “No, we came for dumbass over here.” He jerked his thumb in my direction. “You’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” she answered.

“How did you know I was here?”

“After you didn’t answer your phone the first nine calls, I called someone who did pick up—Faith,” Lukas answered. “Apparently you three have had a tracking app since something she referred to as the spring break incident of sophomore year, and since Harper has her nose in the lab, Faith tracked you for me.”