Defender (Seattle Sharks 9)

“Nixon?” I blinked out of my panicked haze. I took a step back, realizing Nixon’s body was literally blocking the door. “Is he okay?”

Nixon glared at me, his dark eyes so severe I flinched.

“Please,” I said, choking back a sob. “Is he okay?”

“You’ve got some fucking nerve.” Seething. The man was seething. But part of me was dying not knowing if Nathan was okay.

I tried to get around him again, but Nixon was too fast, too strong, and I bounced off his chest. He stepped in my space, retreating me backward until I was on the other side of the hallway. “I saw the fucking helmet when they cut it off him. He was only wearing those fucking inserts because he’s in love with you. And now look at him.” Fear and anger churned, his breath cracked, tight.

“I would if you let me,” I snapped. “Let me see him,” I plead.

“He’s still unconscious,” he said, his voice breaking. “Thanks to you. Thanks to your little fucking experiments, the only brother I have left is lying unconscious in a hospital bed.”

I slumped against the wall.

Nathan. Nathan.

My heart beat to the sound of his name in my head.

My eyes flashed to Nixon, the pain in his fresh and real and raw.

The only brother I have left…

Oh God.

“Nixon, I’m—”

He held up his hand, stopping me. “Don’t.” He shook his head, his eyes glittering with unshed tears. “Don’t you dare.” He fixed that glare on me. “You took advantage of him. You used him for your precious data. And now look where he is. CT showed brain swelling. They have him sedated.”

I gaped at him, the words dying on my tongue as I silently denied his words.

“You’re just like the rest of them.” Nixon dragged his fingers through his hair, the dark strands a chaotic mess from repeating the action.

“I’m not,” I said, tears freely running down my cheeks. “I didn’t. I would never use him. He wanted to wear it. He said—”

“Because he loves you!” Nixon’s words cut every inch of my soul. He took a steadying breath like he was trying to wrangle himself. “You want to help Nathan?”

“More than anything,” I said. “Please…” I took a step toward the room. “Please let me see him.”

Nixon shook his head, blocking me again. “The best thing you can do is leave. Get out of here before the owners show up and realize what gear he was wearing.”

I stumbled back again, Nixon taking the breath right out of me.

“Leave.” Nixon jerked his head toward the end of the hallway, the one that led to the exit. “You’ve already ruined his career. Who knows what he’ll be like after this. You think he’ll want to see you when he wakes up? If he wakes up?”

My heart broke.

Shattered completely at Nixon’s words.

Because he wasn’t wrong.

I did this. I hurt Nathan. I put him at risk.

And Nixon…God, he’d already lost one brother. He had every right to hate me.

If he wakes up. His words echoed in my head as the pieces of my broken soul turned jagged and sharp, slicing everything inside me.

“He will wake up,” I said, forcing myself to look Nixon in the eye.

“We thought Nicholas would, too. Nathan won’t want to see you. You’ve literally ruined his life and everything he’s worked his ass off for.” A muscle in his jaw ticked.

A sound pinged in my purse, and I reached for my iPad out of sheer habit and muscle memory. The Defender app’s notification blinked.

“Nathan Noble connected. Data transfer complete.”

Nathan’s helmet was within a few hundred yards. The helmet I’d made. The one that hadn’t protected him.

“Are you fucking kidding me? That’s why you’re here? To get your damned data?”

“No,” I protested. “It’s just Bluetooth.” I stared at Nixon, speechless.

“I guess you don’t even need your hands on your death trap in order to get what you need. Go figure.”

Death trap. What if I’d killed him?

“Go. Now. Or I’ll throw you out myself.”

So I did.

I turned and left.

Each step was harder to draw breath than the next.

Each step I grew dizzier.

Fuzzier.

Disconnected.

Anchor. I needed my anchor.

But he was fighting for his life in a locked room I wasn’t allowed in.

And even if I was, Nixon was right. Nathan wouldn’t want me there. Not when he realized what I’d cost him.

What loving me had cost him.

“Harper?” Faith’s voice jolted me to the present. She rushed up to me from the waiting area, her hands on my arms as if she could sense I was about to fly off.

Butterfly.

Nathan’s voice in my head shook the last shred of control I had, and I crumpled into a chair, Faith at my side.

“Is he okay?” she asked, tears coating her voice.

“I don’t know,” I whispered. Over and over again. “I don’t know.”

Chapter 19

Noble

A sound cut through the darkness. Soothing. Familiar.