Dirty (Dive Bar 1)

"Yes."

"What happened?"

"I was getting ready for the ceremony and someone sent me a video of him getting it on with another guy."

"That's why you ran?"

"That's why I ran." I slumped back in the seat. "Why? What would you have done?"

"Gotten the hell out of there."

I gave him a nod, relaxing further. "Good."

"Dick isn't my thing. Would have had to have been drunk as fuck to have gotten engaged to a guy in the first place." From beneath his brows came a sly look. "But yeah, I'd have definitely bolted."

"Ha-ha."

The smile came slowly, but again it was definitely there. Strange--he smiled and the weight on my shoulders lightened. All of the dust and darkness in the house faded from view. Maybe it was just me not feeling so alone, I don't know. But it helped.

"No way I could've pulled off the underwear and dress as well as you," he said contemplatively, thumb rubbing over the rim of his coffee cup.

"No?"

"I lack some of your finer assets."

"Aw, that's sweet," I drawled, laughing softly. "I'm sure you look lovely in drag, Vaughan. But I appreciate you saying that."

"No problem." He took a sip of coffee, watching me all the while with those intense blue eyes. Not once did they stray down to the assets in question. Probably too busy admiring my fine collection of scratches, bruises, and general hot bridal messiness.

I shifted in my seat, fussed for a minute. Though really, what was the point? I looked like hell. Might as well just roll with it. I huffed out a breath and did my best to let all of the dross go. Everything would be okay. Life would go on. Me and my insane situation had even managed to raise this man's spirits a little.

Yes, I'd made a mistake. Shit had definitely happened. But things weren't so bad. Apart from my fine collection of scratches, bruises, and aching muscles, I still had my health.

"You've got a killer smile," he said, still staring.

Heck, he was serious. Probably just being kind. "Thank you."

A nod.

He rubbed at the stubble on his chin, little lines appearing between his brows. "You weren't tempted to have a show-him-up, out him in front of all the guests?"

"Honestly?" I took my time and pondered the question, turning it over inside my head. "I wasn't afraid, exactly, I just ... they weren't my people. All of those guests were business acquaintances, contacts, friends of his family. Most of them I'd never even met. Guess I haven't been in town long enough to make my own friends. I've been either busy working or I've been with Chris. My parents couldn't make it and I've pretty much lost touch with the girls I went to school with.

"I don't really care what those idiots over there think of me. As for what they think of him, he made this mess. He can clean it up himself. I just wanted to remove myself from the entire situation, pronto." I stared over his shoulder, lost in thought. "I guess I was embarrassed. How could I not be? He played me for a fool."

He made a small noise.

"Anyway."

"And that's how you wound up in my bathtub?"

"Yes." I gave him a strained smile. "I realized a bit late that I had no money or cards. Hiding out for a while until things settled down seemed like a smart idea. Have my meltdown in private."

"Mm."

"Speaking of which, guess I better head back around, check out the damage." I took a fortifying gulp of coffee. "Get out of your hair and go fetch my purse."

"No rush."

"Think I've probably taken up enough of your time with my drama," I said with a small laugh. It fell flat. I should give it a few days to sink in before attempting to make jokes. Right now things still felt raw, on edge. Like I might burst into tears again at any moment. Either that or go into some sort of psycho rage. Too many emotions were bubbling away beneath the surface. It didn't feel like there was enough of me to contain it all. One small crack and everything would start pouring out all over again.

No. Nope. I straightened my spine. I could handle this. I could and I would.

"Seriously." He waved a hand, motioning for me to stay seated. Then he stretched, raising his arms up above his head then gripping his elbows and cracking his neck. "You don't really want to go back around there yet. Fuck knows, I wouldn't want to."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded. "Yeah. You being here also gives me a damn good excuse to put off dealing with my own shit."

"You've got drama too?"

A shrug. "Doesn't everyone?"

"A side effect of breathing, I guess."

He smiled.

CHAPTER FOUR

"Nothing about your sex life didn't make you think he might be gay?" Vaughan asked.

"Um..."

"If you don't mind me asking."

"Well, yes. I mean no, I don't mind you asking. But yes, our lack of intimacy should have made me think twice." Oh, god. It really, really should have. What with the lack of screwing, I'd screwed up magnificently. Shame filled me. "I still can't believe I fell for his crap."

"Guess he was convincing."

"He sure was."

"Least you didn't go through with the wedding."

I huffed out a breath. "Hell no. As soon as I saw..."

A nod.

"I'm not sure it's actually sunk in yet, that I'm not getting married today. I'm not spending the rest of my life building a home with him."

"It's big."

"Yeah." I folded my hands in my lap. "I got carried away and took a leap of faith. It just didn't pay off."

He said nothing. Not like there was anything to say.

"Trust is a bitch. Anyway." I shook it off. Time to move on, et cetera. If I kept telling myself as much, eventually it had to sink in. "To answer your question. Honestly, Vaughan, we didn't have much of a sex life to speak of."

"What?" Elbows on the table, he leaned in, getting closer. "When was the last time you two fucked?"

I blinked. Not "had sex." Not even "made love." Fucked. Like language even mattered, and yet ... maybe I was a prude. I'd never thought of myself as one, though as today was showing, I knew shit.

"Lydia?"

"Sorry. Just mentally beating myself up again."

"Stop it. That's not going to help."

"No, it's not. But kind of hard to avoid today."

"Mm."

Tattoos covered his arms to the wrists. Black and gray, mostly, with traces of color erupting here and there. An electric guitar with an ornate skull above it. A diving bluebird surrounded by licks of flame. Beautiful ink work. Whoever he went to was an artist.

Opposite me, he pushed back his pale-red hair, waiting on me to answer his question.

"Well, we were waiting to have sex. His family are religious and quite traditional." My fingers meshed and twisted in my lap. "Big on appearances and stuff. Yeah..."

Little lines appeared between his brows.

"But he told me he loved me all the time. And he'd call several times a day just to check on me, to see if I needed anything," I said with just a hint of desperation. "He respected me. Without a doubt, he's the most adult, well-adjusted person I've ever been in a relationship with. We wanted the same things, a stable economic future and a family, two kids. We were both ready to settle down. Marrying him made perfect sense."

"Sounds great," he deadpanned.

"I thought it was."

He sat forward, leaning his elbows on the table. "Let me check I've got this right. You guys were together for months, getting married."

"Yes."

"And absolutely nothing between the sheets?"

I pursed my lips, readjusting my turban-towel hairdo. You know, buying some time. If only I'd kept my mouth shut and just let the guy gawk at my breasts. Much better than having this humiliating conversation, especially with him. The man was obviously some sort of ridiculously cool Idaho sex god. Who the hell even knew such a thing existed?

"Lydia?"

I growled or moaned. It was definitely

one or the other, I'm just not sure which. Emotionally, things were in upheaval. "There was some couch action. We messed around, we just didn't go quite that far. Well, we sort of did it."

His brows went up. "Sort of?"

"Yes."

"Babe, if you're not sure what you did with this prick was sex or not, then it's not. Let's get that straight right now."

My grin was a forced, ugly thing. "Right."

"Guy was dating you and he didn't want any?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Does he have a dick?"

"Yes, Vaughan, he has a dick."

"You sure about that?"

I looked to heaven. No help was forthcoming. "It's kind of you to think that."

He laughed, gaze sliding down to my breasts for a millisecond. "No. Just being reasonable."

"Some people believe in celibacy before marriage."