"You're happy with the price?" I asked.
"Very."
"Great." I smiled, trying my utmost to be happy for him. Just like a friend would be. "That's ... that's really great."
Odd how he didn't smile back. Instead, he kept staring out at the backyard, face betraying no emotion. It was his parents' place. Whatever his issues over accepting their death, giving up his childhood home had to hit hard. All those memories.
"When are you thinking of leaving town?"
"Henning and Conn want to get started putting together the new material soon as possible." He grabbed at the back of his neck. "So early next week, I guess."
"That soon?"
"Yeah." His gaze zeroed in on me. "Is that a problem for you, with your stuff and all that, Lydia?"
"No." I looked down, trying to get a handle on ... well, me. It felt like my little world had been turned upside down and been shaken to shit. The perfect scene in the snow globe was a blizzardy mess. What the hell was my problem? None of this should be a surprise. "No. I'll get storage sorted out in the next few days. Not a problem."
"So you're still thinking of staying?"
"Maybe." It was my turn to look away, to avoid his eyes. Such a perfect shade of blue. I'd just have to avoid looking up at the sky for the rest of my life so as not to be reminded of him. Completely doable. "So, early next week. What are you thinking, Monday, Tuesday?"
"Something like that."
I nodded and tucked my mass of bed hair back behind my ears. Then I messed it back up again because exposing myself right now was plain dumb. "Well, it's great that you got a big offer on the house right away. Just great."
"Mm."
"I should go shower. Make some small attempt to look less like the undead."
"Hey," he said. "Did you want to go check out some cars today?"
"Yes, that would be good. Thanks." I rose, my legs feeling bizarrely flimsy, weak.
The great thing about crying in the shower was that with all of the noise and water, there was no real evidence.
No one need ever know.
*
"See, babe. Isn't this nice?"
I gave him an unimpressed look. Not an easy feat, given how good he looked. With the window down, his golden-red hair blew wild in the wind and a toned inked arm leaned on the door frame. He was like an ad for the good life.
"Come on, you have to admit this is a great car."
I didn't have to admit a damn thing.
"Lydia, this is the right choice," he said smoothly. "Comfortable interior, high safety standards, handles well in wet weather and snow, and it even has a small sunroof just for you."
"You're being condescending. Stop it before I hurt you."
"I know you like that piece of shit Prius and the cute little MINI Cooper." He reached out, slipping a hand behind my neck and massaging gently. Dude was lucky I didn't bite off his limb. If he wasn't so good with his fingers, I would. "But the WRX will work out far better for you, I promise."
"I didn't even want to take it for a test drive. You and that idiot ganged up on me."
"Babe."
"It's true. You know you did."
"I had no idea Mitch even worked there," he said with a laugh. A devious one. "Is it really so bad that me and my old friend want you to have an awesome car at the best price possible?"
"It is a good price."
"It's a fucking amazing price and you know it. You're supposed to be test-driving it, not me." He pulled into a gravel parking lot in a secluded spot by the lake, switched off the engine. "Fastest line-built vehicle on the market, Lydia. You know you want to try it."
"It probably got thrashed by its previous owners."
"No way would Mitch sell you something that'd been treated bad. I'd come back to Coeur d'Alene to kick his ass if he did, and he knows it."
"God, would you stop talking about leaving?" I snapped. And immediately regretted it.
Vaughan cocked his head.
"Sorry." I took a deep breath, let it out slowly. "Apparently, I'm Ms. Bad Attitude today. Let's just enjoy the here and now. Okay?"
He slowly nodded his head. Then he gazed back out the windshield at the sparkling blue water. "You wanted the Vaughan Hewson Coeur d'Alene experience."
It took a moment for my poor brain to catch up. "This is where you brought your dates when you were in school?"
"Yes, it is."
"Nice. Very nice."
"Far enough out of town, away from the lights. The whole sky would be full of stars."
"Mm." I smiled wistfully. "Sounds romantic. Too bad it's daytime."
"No one's around."
I turned my head so fast we both should have gotten whiplash. "What?"
"No one's around."
"Ha." I smiled, raised my eyes to the heavens. "God, I thought you were serious there for a minute."
"I am." He was? Shit. He was. Beautiful blue eyes all intense and heated, looking at me and licking his lips like I was definitely at the top of today's menu.
"Oh."
He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, trailing his fingers down my neck. Toying first with the spaghetti strap of my blousy white top and then with my bra beneath. The man had moves. But also, he basically had me on a leash, the bastard. Mind, body, heart, and soul. Not that I'd ever tell him. Immediately my breathing picked up pace, my skin grew all shivery.
"Lewd acts. Exposure." I giggled hysterically, sounding a lot like an idiot. "I'm pretty sure there are laws protecting public places against that. Especially in broad daylight. We better not."
"We're not going to get caught."
"But we might."
"We won't." He slipped both straps off my shoulder, exposing more skin. In the smoothest of moves, he unclipped his seatbelt and then moved directly on to releasing mine. But the man wasn't done. Oh, no. There would soon come a day when he would be done with me, but it wasn't this one.
"Hold on." He twisted and rose up. With a knee on his seat, he reached right across me. Things were fiddled with on the side of my seat, and all of a sudden the back was way back and I was staring directly up at the beige car ceiling. Out the open window, a tree swayed overhead. Green leafy branches rustled in the wind. Lots of nature. Now and then the sun broke through, a dazzling shaft of light from the heavens above.
Did the sun have to be so bright? We were going to get caught for sure. Also, cellulite did best under soft or no lighting. Try as I did to accept my body, this sort of shit remained a concern.
"Um," I said, because my brain was still in genius mode. "I'm not sure this is safe."
"Car's stationary and I've got a condom in my back pocket. We couldn't be safer." Without further ado, he climbed on top of me, his hips situated between my legs. An elbow to my side near the top of the seat took the bulk of his weight. Still, the feel of his body on mine sent tremors of excitement racing through me. Red alert, illegal and possibly embarrassing, but very good times ahead. I gripped the sides of my chair like I was on a roller-coaster and a loop de loop was coming up. Yet all the while, my vagina prepared to party like it was 1999.
Fuck. I was so confused. "We have a bed at home. I mean, at your place."
Low laughter from the deviant. "Yeah, but I have you all turned on right here. Why wait?"
"I'm not really turned on."
"Nipples."
I looked down. They were indeed twin hard points, all too obvious beneath the thin cotton of my top. Talk about betrayal. "They know nothing."
"Hey. You really want me to stop?" He stared deep into my eyes, seeing the panic in my soul. I could feel it, his understanding, his concern. And not just over the public exposure sex thing. Let's be honest here. My current freak-out had way more to do with the creeping dread of him leaving and the fear regarding the state of my muddled heart.
"Babe?"
His face was so close. Lips just barely touching mine, the heat and beauty of him setting me on fire. I could feel him hardening against my stomach, reacting to me. My need fed on his, growing by the moment.