"Yes." Inside me, the panic slowly unwound, slipping out of me. "Thank you."
"No problem." Joe leaned over, clinking his beer against mine. "Cheers."
"Cheers."
He kept on watching me with his lips shut tight. Most people's attention wigged me out, put me on edge. But not Joe's. Or not exactly. He meant me no harm. Somewhere deep down inside of me, I knew it to be true. The man was a straight shooter.
Not that I didn't want to kind of beat him with a wet fish for putting me on the spot like that.
Inside my head, things were winding down, starting to hurt. I pulled some Kleenex out of my pocket and blew my nose. A lovely feminine flower, that was me. Not that Joe ever seemed perturbed. The bearded one was a true gentleman, despite all of the hair, tats, and savage looks. Though realistically we'd only known each other for a few days. Sure, we'd been emailing each other for months, but face-to-face was different.
"You're looking tired," he said. "Want to go back to the hotel now?"
"Soon." The pizza was finished but half of my beer remained. "I do like your friends. Even the ones who play bad love songs."
Quietly, he laughed. "Nell has a lot to answer for."
Reluctantly, I smiled.
"We all thought she and Pat would be together forever. Their divorce was a hell of a shock. They started going out when the rest of us were still worried about catching girl germs. If those two couldn't make it work, I don't know what hope the rest of us have." Joe took a sip of his beer, eyes unhappy. "Apparently Nell and Eric did some drinking after work one night. One thing led to another..."
"Pregnant."
"Yep." His eyebrows went high. "No one saw that one coming."
"You think she and Eric might ever get together?"
"My brother should be so lucky." He barked out a laugh. "No. Nell knows him too damn well. They're just friends, I think. She was always more like a sister. Eric and her brother, Vaughan, used to be real tight when they were kids. They had a falling-out after high school."
I stayed silent, letting him talk.
"They're getting along again now. Sorted shit out when Vaughan started working behind the bar and his girl took over Pat's share of the business."
"That's good."
"Yeah." One side of his mouth kicked up. "Now if my little brother would just fix the mess between him and Dad everything'd be great. Or at least Thanksgiving dinner would be a fuckload more pleasant."
"Is that why you liked talking to me?"
No response.
"I didn't know your family or friends," I said. "I was outside all of the drama. Safe. You could unload on me."
Slowly, he nodded. "Yeah. In truth, that was a big part of it. I swear, some days, talking to you, it was about the only thing that kept me sane."
"Glad I could be there for you."
"Please," he said. "After all the fuckery I pulled, disappointing you and everything."
"Ha." A dull ache awoke inside my chest. "Yeah. Good point. You suck."
"I am sorry, Alex," he said quietly.
"I know."
A rumble came from inside his throat and he pushed his long hair back from his face. "I was an asshole to you."
"Pretty much."
"Mind you, I didn't have a clue then how cute you looked in your Little Miss Fucking Sunshine panties."
Huh. I cocked my head. "You flirting with me, Bigfoot?"
A slight smile was all the answer I got. What a goddamn tease.
"Are your parents looking forward to the baby?" I asked, taking my time finishing the last of the beer. Even with the flirting, being around Joe was nice, easy. With just the two of us again, it was relaxing.
"Absolutely. Dad threw a shitfit at first, but they've both known Nell a long time and love her like family." He looked up at me from beneath his thick brows. "Mom would like to meet you before you head off. If that's possible."
"Oh. That's really nice of her." And not the least bit incredibly scary. Holy shit, meeting someone's mother was a big deal. Typical of Joe to be so calm about it. "Wow. Does she know about the whole identity-theft psychic-stripper debacle?"
"That's the official term now, is it? Well, no, she doesn't know about the whole ITPSD."
One shoulder jerked. "See how things go. Your flight isn't until late tomorrow. That'll give you a chance to stop by and say hi."
My throat was so dry. I could barely swallow. "Sure. Why not?"
CHAPTER TEN
Message sent seven weeks ago:
ME: Have you given anymore thought to the project with the top floor of the Bird Building?
HIM: Have you give any more thought to accepting that big job from the prestigious marketing firm?
ME: Touche.
HIM: Truth is, I'm drowning right now, basically working around the clock. I got talked into covering extra shifts at the bar and I'm helping dad out more with his business. He and my brother had another fight so I can't get him to help. I'm also still trying to spend as much time as possible with my friend Pat, the one that got divorced. And I got caught up helping Nell, his ex-wife, put together a truckload of furniture she felt the need to buy. Need more hours in the day. Maybe Marty should come out east and help me for a while.
ME: Sorry, Marty's way too busy gathering nuts for winter. Then forgetting where he put most of them. Sounds like you're taking on too much. You need to slow it down some, hide from the world more, and learn how to say no like me. When in doubt, don't answer the phone or the door. It's always people.
HIM: Sounds a little extreme, but I could do with hiding for a while. Let's swap lives.
ME: Wait, you want me to leave my couch? I don't see that happening. Maybe cloning you in some way would be a better idea. Get you a friendly cyborg to help around the home or something. A robotic squirrel to be your new best friend, maybe? Don't knock it till you've tried it.
HIM: Speaking of, Blade Runner's on tv. You like?
ME: Only about the best movie ever made! Channel please?
"Nooo," I sobbed quietly into my cell. "Why did you wake me?"
"You didn't call me back yesterday," said Val, unperturbed by my pain.
"Sorry." I rolled over. Hell. Quarter past ten shone judgmentally from the alarm on the bedside table. The sun-block curtains were doing their job.
"Are you seriously still in bed?" Val's voice changed quickly from surprise to excitement. "Oh my God, is he there? He is, isn't he? About time. I knew all of that anger would turn into kinky rough sex. Give me all the details. Is he a dirty twisted beast in the sack? I bet he is. He's got that whole leonine golden hair and beard thing going on."
"Ah. You can calm down, I'm alone." Slowly I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. "I just couldn't get to sleep until, like, three in the morning or something. So I was sleeping in."
"Well, that's disappointing."
"Sorry."
Truth was, the room had seemed too big and empty. Lonesomeness had crept in without Joe's presence. The bed had been too soft, the pillow too lumpy, and nothing seemed to work right. I don't know, it was stupid, really. First, the hotel room hadn't been as comforting as my own place due to the lack of my personal stuff. Now it was even less comforting due to the lack of Joe, which made absolutely no sense. So yeah ... I'd tossed and turned, deciding to delay my flight yet again. Given I'd already let my clients know I was taking this time off, work would be fine. It gave me no good excuse to run home. My mild agoraphobia, however, had turned into a major commitment phobia. I wasn't certain I was willing to risk a romantic relationship with Joe. Way too scary. But I wasn't actually running home to hide and regroup either. The quandary was lifting my anxiety and confusion levels to an all-time high.
No wonder I couldn't sleep.
Then the fears about the designs had kept creeping back into my mind, and basically my head had been a mess. Desperate to get some z's, I'd popped a sleeping pill in the wee hours of the morning.
"You looked up pictures of him?" I asked.
"Yes. There were some on the bar's Facebook page. Had to see who I was hating on."
"And you really think he's hot?" I asked Val, curious.
"Hmm?"
"Beast man or whatever you called him."
"Abso-fucking-lutely. I'd mount that mountain man in a New York minute given half the chance. And no boyfriend, of course."
"Huh. Your opinion of him seems to have dramatically changed since you got a look at him."
"Are you inferring that I'm shallow?"
"I wouldn't dare."
"Actually," she said. "I was pretty impressed with how he took me ripping into him the other day on the phone. Not everyone can apologize and admit when they are wrong."
"Hmm."
A heavy sigh from Valerie. "Also, now that I've settled down with Liam, I really need you to make more of an effort on the sex front. It's hard to live vicariously through you when you rarely do anything of interest."
I did my usual with the Kleenex, as opposed to answering.
"Don't you blow your nose at me, young lady," she snapped. "It's the truth. Vibrators are no substitute for an actual relationship."
"I never said they were. And I have regular sex with actual people, thank you very much. Or I did up until a couple of months ago." Right up until I got a certain Mr. Collins stuck inside my head. Luckily, that issue was being dealt with. Sort of.
Val groaned. "Please. I'd prefer you just stuck to having sex with yourself. Anonymous-sex-with-strangers stories get boring after a while. Plus I worry about you. Be daring and actually become emotionally involved with someone you're banging for once. Get to know them. Who knows, you might even want to keep one of them around for more than a night."
"The fact that they go away afterward is part of their appeal."
"But there's so much more you're missing out on."
"And maybe someday I'll do the whole commitment thing. But for now, this setup just happens to currently suit where I am in life."
"You've been saying that since you were eighteen."