I was still on a high, drugged with lust and needy with desires, when Killian lowered his head, so he could whisper in my ears.
“My fingers were just inside another woman. Her cunt juices are now smeared all over yours. I’m not a loyal man, Beasty, but by letting me touch you… you just downgraded yourself to a common whore,” he rasped, repeating the words I had said to him.
And that was when my world came crashing down, reminding me that while I had been craving his touch, it had all been a pretty deception.
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me thrice? Shame on me again.
Like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over me, the fiery hot pleasure coursing through my veins doused down, until I was shaking for a whole different reason.
“I’m sorry,” I choked, pushing the chair away from the table. Killian’s hand slid out from under my dress and with his other hand, he brought his flute to his lips, taking a slow sip. All nonchalant, without any remorse. “I have…. I’m not feeling quite well. I think I need to lay down. Excuse me.”
A concerned look flashed over William’s face, but I was already walking away, my legs trembling.
The moment I was in my room, I lunged toward the bed. But the wrinkled and torn papers on my mattress stopped me in my tracks. I had spent all morning reading through Arabella’s words again. Lost in her past, so inevitably intrigued by a ghost that I had forgotten just how tragic my own story was. With a deranged wail, I swiped a hand over my bed, shoving all of Arabella’s letters and poems onto the ground.
I fell onto my bed, shoving my face into my pillows and letting out the scream I had been holding. I screamed until my throat was raw and dry, until I couldn’t breathe. How stupid I had been. How foolish I had acted.
I could almost hear Arabella clucking her tongue at me in sympathy.
Go away.
I slapped my hands over my ears, shutting everything out. I was locked away in an ancient castle, with the ghosts of the past coming to haunt me. The old love stories didn’t survive in this cursed castle. How did I think mine would?
Killian’s hatred for me was unstrained… boundless…it was a never-ending calamity of soul-wrenching malice and rage.
Loving Killian Spencer was a death sentence. What we had, it was a catastrophe in the making.
It wasn’t like I expected a happy ending, anyway.
I didn’t deserve a happy ending. I was the villain, after all.
A wretched scream left my throat, spilling into my pillows.
My door creaked open and I sucked in a harsh breath, swallowing my cries before I peeked up from my pillow to see Killian coming into my room. Oh God, please. Have mercy.
“Get out of my room, Killian.” I pointed at the door, my tone frosty and without any emotion. “You’re not welcome here.”
“Why are you so angry, wife?” he taunted, closing the door with his feet. “You’re acting like your panties aren’t still soaked with your juices and that my hand wasn’t just up in there.”
He brought his hand up to his nose, inhaling with a wicked grin. “My fingers still smell like your cunt, Beasty.”
My nostrils flared at his crude words. The calmness that existed inside of me for the last three years was gone, disappearing with a single moment. I heard something snap inside of me. I felt it.
“If you dare touch me ag–”
Killian chuckled. “If I want to fuck you – whenever, wherever and however I want, I will. If I want to hurt you, I will. You are my wife, Julianna. You took vows. To love, to cherish and to obey… till death do us part.” His head cocked to the side, regarding me with such contained ease, it made me mad. “Do you remember my vows, wife?”
He took a step further inside my room, but I was done. So fucking done with him and his games. I bounced off the bed, shaking with fury.
I ripped through the laces of my bodice until my bra-clad breasts spilled out. His eyes flared with surprise and his jaw tightened, but I wasn’t finished yet. If Killian thought he had such control over me and my body, then I was going to prove him wrong.
“Go ahead. Fuck me,” I hissed, my voice dripping with venom. “Do it. But know… I will never give birth to your child if you force me.”
My words stalled him. I finally got a reaction, breaking through his cool composure.
“You’ll hurt my child?” he said, his voice deceptively soft.
I nudged my chin up, meeting his cold eyes without as much of a flinch. “Yes.”
“You’ll kill another innocent life because of your selfish needs?” Killian sneered.