Her wetness, hot and sticky, dripped between our joined bodies.
With a grunt, I drove into her hard and stayed rooted there, the tip of my hardness brushing against her womb. The muscles in my stomach and thighs tightened as I came, my seed pouring into her.
My heart pounded in my ears, loudly. I shuddered as my orgasm rattled through my body. Julianna quivered under me, a moan spilling from her lips. Her body tightened and there was a rush of wetness between us as she found her own release.
I pulled out and she gasped, almost pained. As the fog of rage and pleasure dissipated, my stomach twisted and rolled as I realized what I had just done. Bile tasted acidic on my tongue and I fought the urge to retch.
I just fucked my wife.
After vowing to never touch another woman after Gracelynn.
My gaze quickly darted to the juncture of her thighs and my heart thudded at the sight of my seed spilling out of her and…
What the hell?
…blood?
My brows furrowed. Julianna collapsed onto the bed. There was blood, coating the inside of her pale thighs and on the white linen underneath her.
“Julianna,” I rasped, my voice gruff and confused. The room swayed under my feet.
She rolled over and dragged the bedsheet over her body, shaking. “I – you… Are we done?”
I stumbled back, suddenly feeling sick. My blood pounded in my ears and my vision blurred. My throat became dry and when I tried to breathe, my lungs tightened, fighting against my desperate need to inhale.
“Killian?” Her soft voice sounded far away. Julianna sat up, wincing, but she reached out for me.
I stumbled back, knocking into the chair before I rushed into her adjoined bathroom, slamming the door closed behind me.
Frantic, I opened the tap and splashed water on my face. The pressure on my chest grew heavier as I stared at the man in the reflection, barely recognizing him.
My eyes darted to my semi-hard length, stained with blood, and I flinched. What have I done?
She was a virgin. Had been.
Like me.
Goddamn it.
All this time… I thought…
FUCK!
I couldn’t think straight. For the longest time, I saved myself for the day I’d meet the woman I loved. I was willing to wait for Gracelynn – for our wedding night – she wanted it to be special and so did I.
After she died, I vowed that I would never touch another woman – not in the way I touched Gracelynn.
Except, my father had told me that I needed to marry, needed an heir. So, I agreed. It would be a job – a husbandly duty – nothing more. I wasn’t going to make love to my wife. It would be a simple, mechanical fuck.
I was a goddamn virgin until tonight.
I had fucked Julianna thinking she was already spoiled – not a virgin – that another man had already broke her in. Made the job easy for me. It would have made this less intimate, less meaningful. For both of us.
Jesus Christ!
Guilt gnawed at me.
I remembered the way her body had tensed underneath mine.
Her pained whimper.
Her clawing at the bedsheet.
I had hurt her.
In ways I never should have.
But I was so goddamn angry. Why didn’t she tell me? After all those insults I had thrown at her, why did she let me believe that she had already been with another man?
This whole marriage was in shambles and tonight was just more proof of that.
I had been honest with Julianna from the beginning – with my hatred and my rage, my vows. I never once made false promises or gave her fake hope. But she walked into this marriage with lies and deceit.
I zipped up my slacks and stalked out of the bathroom. Julianna was pulling the bloodied linens off the bed, dressed in a navy blue, silk robe. She spun around at the sound of me coming out of the bathroom. The masquerade mask was gone, but her black veil was once again pinned up in its place, hiding her face from me.
She always hid behind that black fucking veil. I wanted to rip it off her face and expose her truth to the world.
That she was a deceitful woman.
And that three years ago, she killed my heart. Oh, how I loathed her for it.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I said bitterly.
Her hand fluttered to her chest and she swallowed. “You already believed that I wasn’t a virgin and I didn’t find any reason to correct you.”
“Stop. Playing. The. Martyr.” I advanced toward her and she stumbled back. Her legs were weak and her limp was more pronounced after our… recent activities.
“I’m not,” she snapped. “You always believed the worst of me.”
“Because you allowed me to believe that with your goddamn lies!”
Her eyes flared up, in dread. “What lies?” she sputtered.
“What do you hide behind your veil, Beasty?” I grinned, with every bit of malice I felt in my bones. “If this is your atonement, then let me tell you – you will never find salvation.”