I swore, holding onto the tree. My leg seized up, and I struggled to move forward. Fucking useless leg.
Pushing the pain at the back of my mind, I thought of Ayla.
With my wounded leg dragging heavily behind me, I limped forward.
When the trees started to clear up, turning into the beautiful field, my heart thumped a little wildly with hope.
I heard the rushing water, my eyes prickling as I remembered the times Ayla and I spent there. I hadn’t been there since she was taken away from me.
When the field finally came into view, I stopped and leaned against the tree. I fought to catch my breath as my gaze finally found Ayla. Her back was to me as she looked at the rushing water. She sat silently on the rock, her long black hair hanging loose on her back.
Walking forward, I stopped beside her. She stared straight ahead, completely ignoring my presence. I looked down at her face, hoping to see a smile or maybe even a little light in her eyes.
When I found none, my heart sank, and my stomach tightened in knots.
She only stared at the creek, her face devoid of emotion. Ayla wasn’t affected by the beauty in front of her, not like the first time she had been here.
I knew the creek was something buried deep in her mind. Could it be that she was slowly remembering? Or maybe she was looking for peace—like before.
The piano room and the creek were the places she absolutely loved, the places that brought her peace.
And now she was blindly reaching for it again. Without even realizing it.
I knelt down in front of Ayla, wincing as my muscles protested against the pain in my leg. She kept her eyes on the creek behind me.
I smiled, being accustomed to this reaction. She wasn’t ignoring me. She knew I was there. My Angel just didn’t want to let herself feel.
Even thought I had realized that, it didn’t stop the pain in my heart. It didn’t stop the heartbreak I felt every time she stared at me with those empty green eyes.
The pain worsened every day. The loneliness clawed at me, the agony too much to bear sometimes. But I kept going. For Ayla, I stayed strong. I lived for her.
Palming her cheeks, I rubbed her soft skin. “You can’t leave like this. Do you know how worried I was, Angel? Everyone is looking for you. Waking up and not finding you beside me was the worst. You can’t do that again.”
No response.
I didn’t expect one. It was another thing I was accustomed to: talking to Ayla while I only got silence. Deep inside, she knew my voice. And stupidly, I believed that she heard me.
“You need to let me know where you go next time,” I admonished gently. “Lena almost had a heart attack. Let’s give the poor woman a break.
“Angel,” I said, kissing her nose. “Will you talk to me? Anything. Just say something. I can’t bear your silence anymore.”
Her eyes finally moved to mine. I almost jumped with joy. Such a small thing, but it meant so much.
“Please,” I finally begged. “Please, say something, Angel. I want to hear your voice. I need to hear your voice. Say something. Just one word…” my voice broke. Taking a deep breath, I continued. “…to let me know that you’re hearing me, that you know I’m here.”
When she stayed utterly silent, I looked down, trying so fucking hard to hold my stupid tears. What I saw made me suck in a painful breath.
This time…my soul cried.
Ayla was barefooted, and her feet were bruised and bloodied. She had walked from the house to the creek barefooted.
“Angel,” I whimpered. I could hear the way my voice broke. The tears slid down my cheeks. Just a few drops but it was so fucking hard.
I buried my face in Ayla’s lap and cried. “I am begging you. Say my name. I want to hear my name from your lips. I want to hear your voice.”
Holding her knees, I pressed my face in her thighs. “Just my name. That’s all I am asking. Please, Ayla. Please.”
Without any care of the world, I sobbed and begged. My heart broke a thousand times then.
With my face still buried in her lap, I waited. I felt Ayla shift. I almost felt her hand on my arm but then nothing. My Angel didn’t touch me. She didn’t hold me. She didn’t speak.
I waited some more. I waited for I didn’t know how long.
But I only got silence.
When my tears had finally dried, I leaned back and wiped my wet cheeks. Ayla stared at me blankly, and her eyes moved toward the water again.
“You were always stubborn, you know,” I whispered, touching her cheek softly. “I’m not giving up, Angel. You might not remember, but I once told you that I wasn’t giving up on you, and I had told you not to give up on us.”