I didn’t reply. My eyes met his in a hard, unflinching gaze. He stilled, and I looked away, effectively shutting him up.
Without sparing him another glance, I walked into my room and closed the door behind me. His footsteps eventually faded away and then silence.
The silence sickened me, and I fought the urge to throw up.
My insides tightened, and once again my emotions derailed. I breathed through my nose, trying to calm my nerves and the never-ending cramps in my stomach. Sweat dripped down the back of my neck. My hands started shaking, and I clenched them into tight fists. The lump in my throat grew until it was hard to swallow, my tongue feeling heavy—speechless. Motionless.
I felt…crippled.
What have I just done?
***
A week later
Half of Valerie’s body laid on top of mine, covering me with her warmth. She cuddled closer, burying her face in my chest. Her fingers drew random patterns, her touch feathering over the art on my skin.
She loved them and couldn’t seem to stop touching the intricate designs, always exploring with her touch. Skin to skin. Sometimes, she would lay kisses along the path of my tattoos.
Over the week, I had successfully been able to keep Valentin away from Valerie. Using various tactics, I was the one who ended up in her bedroom every night. Not the fuck face who was supposedly her husband.
“…Viktor.”
Snapping out of my thoughts, I looked down at Valerie to see her eyes already on me.
Something indescribable would always ignite me when she’d breathed my name.
Her voice was so sweet…still unused with years of silence. Sometimes her voice was too soft to hear, or too loud. Her tone was low at the beginning of a sentence and then rose until I would tell her it was too loud. Valerie’s voice was a little scratchy but beautiful nonetheless.
I think maybe I found it more beautiful because it was…different. It was her. It was perfect.
“You are always…lost in your…thoughts.”
Valerie sat up, leaning over my face. Her bare tits were right over my mouth, and I was tempted to take a bite…maybe even a lick. My dick hardened at the lush sight, and I swore under my breath.
She palmed my face—while I was wishing she would palm my hard cock—and her forehead came down to touch mine.
“Why won’t you talk to…me? I know…something is troubling…you,” she whispered.
Ah. There it was. The unspoken words between us. The one thing I didn’t want to talk about.
“You have changed. You are more silent…and…brooding,” Valerie continued, her lips touching my cheek in a small kiss now.
“It’s nothing,” I mumbled. Her eyes fixated on my lips, and I saw the disbelief there. Her lips pursed in a small, frustrated pout.
“You are a bad liar, Viktor.”
“Valerie…” I started, but she shushed me. My little nun actually shushed me.
With a finger on my lips, she said, “Don’t lie to me. You ask me to trust you and I do, yet…you don’t trust me. You won’t…tell me what is…hurting you. And I know you are hurting. Something worries you.”
I stared into her warm brown eyes, filled with so much understanding. I wondered if she would still be so understanding if she knew my truth.
Quickly rolling us over so she was under me, I hovered over her naked body. “You are right. I am hurting. I am worrying. And I have done terrible things, Valerie.”
Valerie’s finger tangled in my hair, and she brought my face closer, our lips mere inches apart. “What have you done, Viktor?”
“I hurt someone who is very close to me. I hurt her, and she means everything…but I think I have hurt her, and I don’t know if she’s okay or not,” I finally confessed, my voice rough with unsaid emotions and my words catching in my throat.
Valerie stayed silent, her gaze never leaving mine. So I continued. “The mere thought of something happening to Ayla cripples me, Valerie. But knowing I am the reason behind it…Alessio would never forgive me.”
Her warm eyes turned confused. “Maybe you shouldn’t…be so hard on yourself. I don’t know what to say. She seems important to you. If you think you have hurt…her, then you…should apologize.”
“I don’t think apologies will ever be enough,” I admitted.
Valerie shook her head, her eyebrows bunching sadly, as if she were feeling my pain. She leaned up and stole a kiss. I kissed her back. What was meant to be a quick peck turned into a long kiss, one that left us breathless.
For a brief moment, I forgot my worries. I forgot about Ayla and Alessio. I forgot about the baby.
I savored Valerie’s kiss and continued sinking into the sea of love she was giving me, the depth never ending.
“Tomorrow is a new day. Everything…will…be fine, Viktor,” she muttered against my lips.
Settling beside Valerie, I pulled her into my embrace. “Let’s not think about tomorrow. I want to live in the now. And right now, I just want to hold you.”