I ground my teeth to stop myself from saying it. It was too fucking soon and she was too fucking perfect. I couldn’t risk scaring her off by saying the three little words I’d never said to a woman before.
And every time I came, I fucking wanted to. I really fucking wanted to.
I love you.
I fucking love you.
I love you so much it scares the ever loving shit out of me, and that makes me love you even more.
Instead, I grunted like a wild animal as my seed shot up and through my shaft. Her body welcomed me, coming with me as usual, tugging hard on my tip to get every last drop.
And by God, she did. The good Lord only knew, she’d earned it.
The big guy was definitely in my good graces these days. After all, he’d made her. And somehow, he’d made her like me enough to let me do unbelievably filthy things to her.
I owe you one, I thought as I shook from head to toe.
“My God, woman,” I groaned, careful not to crush her as my body found release. I was utterly content and at peace in that moment. I knew in a few minutes, the doubts would creep in. The worries that I wasn’t good enough. That she would put an end to this. That I’d be stuck here, wanting her and worried about Paul for months or even years without any release.
But for now? In this one perfect moment? All was right in the world.
Chapter Twenty
Cynthia
I grimaced as my inbox loaded. I was so behind it was ridiculous. Beyond ridiculous. Irresponsible. The kind of thing my mama would spank my butt for, God rest her soul.
She’d suddenly passed away a few years ago. I forgot sometimes that she was gone. I’d be busy at work or school and be thinking about what she would say or do and then realize . . . I’d never get the chance to know again. Her diabetes had been regulated, but it had taken a toll on her heart. One day, she woke up not feeling great, then just like that, it was over.
I had felt so lost and alone. But Rev. Paul had stepped in, helping me go through the paperwork and take over the household finances. That was the day he’d given me a job, too.
A job I was slacking at, for the first time ever. Mama would not be amused.
I could hear her voice in my head, and that was something I was more than grateful for. She was like my own internal compass.
And right now, that compass was pointing to a big ol’ nope.
Get your ass moving, or I will smack it.
Mama and Preacher had a lot in common in that regard.
Usually, I dealt with church and school stuff immediately, checking my email multiple times throughout the day and answering each message as it came in. I did my homework the day or night it was assigned.
A rolling stone gathers no moss, and neither did I.
Plus, being busy kept the loneliness away.
Until Preacher.
He is definitely not a good influence on me, I grumbled to myself. I didn’t have to wonder what my mother would think. She would like Preacher well enough when she got to know him, but for her daughter? I doubted she would approve.
Then again, she hadn’t much liked Zach, either.
I sighed deeply, scrolling down two pages to see what I’d missed. I’d been distracted all week by . . . well, sex.
SO much sex.
I sighed again, feeling oddly contented. Preacher had taken me by surprise in so many ways. He was tender, for one thing. His passion for me was always intense, but it wasn’t always rough. There was a sweetness about the man that surprised me. He was protective, but I’d known that. Of course, now that he considered me ‘his’, that had gone to an extreme.
He insisted on walking me both ways to work, taking me to my two classes each week, and arming my apartment with high-tech alarms sent by a friend. He’d muttered something about motion sensors and lights for the block as well, but it hadn’t happened yet. I wasn’t so sure the neighborhood wanted huge lights that went off whenever a stray cat jumped off a trashcan, either.
He’d tricked out the parsonage as well, getting a new bed for one of the smaller bedrooms for the nights I slept over and putting in security there as well.
Sleeping at the parsonage was a whole other kettle of fish.
So far, no one had seen me coming or going, but I knew it was only a matter of time. I still had no idea what I was doing. What we were doing. How well we worked together when we weren’t fighting seemed to defy all odds. Plus, I couldn’t seem to resist the man, rough around the edges as he was.