He turned, and I felt a faint remnant of the thrill I used to get when I saw him. Faint, but still there. His familiar face was older but still achingly handsome. More so without the baby fat, I decided.
But butterflies? No. For the first time, those butterflies were gone.
The look on his face was surprisingly humble for someone who had just won one of the biggest contracts for a new recruit in the history of the NFL.
He looked almost . . . nervous.
“Wow,” he said. “You look . . .”
“Exhausted?” I joked.
“I was going to say beautiful.”
I almost snorted, it was so hard to believe. The guy must be swimming in groupies and models. I was just . . . me. Ordinary. Not bad, but nothing special in the looks department. And since I had vomited twice today, I was pretty sure I was not at my best. But he’d always been a charmer, I reminded myself. I’d believed every word he ever told me until the night I caught them in the act.
The sting of seeing them like that . . . together . . . I could still see it. Still feel it. It was that sharp, like the earth had opened up under my feet.
Everything I’d been so sure of until that moment had just crumbled. His love. Her friendship. My place in the world.
A few months later, my mother had passed away.
And then I’d been well and truly alone.
But you survived, chica. You built a new family. I’ve never been so proud of you.
My mother’s voice always spoke the truth. I sighed and forced myself not to rehash the past or drag up old hurts. We were adults now.
“Congratulations on your contract.”
He perked up a little bit at that.
“You heard? Yeah, it’s pretty cool.”
“It’s amazing, Zach. You deserve it,” I said. And I meant it. He was always an impressive athlete, especially considering he’d grown up on food stamps and playing in fire hydrants like the rest of us.
“You know, you were the first person I wanted to tell.”
“Come on.”
“No. Really. It’s . . . well, let’s just say I’ve changed since . . . everything happened.”
Holy shit. He was nervous. Zach Chambers was nervous.
“That’s good. You grew up.” I lifted my chin. “So did I.”
“I haven’t really . . . I heard you don’t date.”
My jaw dropped open. He was not going there, was he? It was embarrassing to think of the great Zach Chambers knowing how dry things had been. Before Preacher came in and tipped over the apple cart, of course.
“You’re keeping tabs on me?” I accused. When he nodded, I hissed out a breath of exasperation.
“I don’t date anymore, either. Not since I realized what I lost and . . . well, nothing casual really tempted me after that.”
My jaw dropped. Star football player . . . celibate. It was hard to believe. But the look on his face . . . well, for some crazy reason, I believed him.
If he had told me he wasn’t dating a couple of months ago . . . this speech . . . God, it might have gotten to me.
But not now. Not after I’d felt the heat and the loyalty of Preacher. The filthy, filthy truth of him. Not now that I was carrying his baby.
Talk about too little, too late.
“I am.”
“You are what?” he asked. I suddenly realized that Zach wasn’t lying. I felt it in my gut. He still held a torch for me. A big one. He hadn’t let go or moved on.
There was a terrible hope in his eyes. Terrible because I was about to crush it. And even after everything, I felt bad about it.
“I’m dating. More than that. I’m with someone.”
“With? Is it serious?” He caught the look on my face. “I know it’s none of my business and I have no right to ask, but . . . I never stopped loving you, Cynth. I was a stupid kid. I took you for granted and I’ll never forgive myself for it. But I’m not stupid now. If you give me another chance, I will never let you down again.”
Zach reached into his pocked and pulled out a box. A dark green box with the word Cartier emblazoned in gold script. A jewelry box.
It couldn’t be . . . I gasped as he opened it.
“I know it’s crazy, but the first thing I did was go out and buy this.” My eyes got big. Like twenty carats big. “Come with me, Cynth. We don’t have to rush into anything. Let me just prove to you . . . let me show you I’ve changed. That I never stopped loving you.”
Oh. My. God.
Zach had bought me a ring.
An engagement ring.
A really, really big engagement ring.
I shook my head. This conservation suddenly felt disloyal to Preacher. I was not going down this road. I couldn’t.