“Don’t feel guilty. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But I did, Nick. How could I be so selfish?”
“Not selfish. Normal. It was my fault, anyway.”
“No. Not your fault. She’s my mother.”
“And she would want you to have normal moments in the middle of this. You are there for her one hundred percent. No one would ever doubt that.”
“Not one hundred percent, Nick.”
“I should have woken you when the nurse came. But I wanted you to sleep. Dana did too. She said it was important for the caregivers to rest. She will be back tomorrow,” he said calmly. But I could tell he was upset. Everything I was saying was making him feel like this was his fault.
“I’m sorry,” I said lamely. “I’m just being dramatic.”
But it didn’t feel that way. It felt like I was dropping the ball. I was falling for Nick at the worst possible time, and we both knew it. I took Mom’s food up to her a few minutes later, leaving Nick standing there looking lost and alone.
I didn’t see Nick for the rest of the night.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Nick
She doesn’t want you here.
The words echoed through my mind. Melissa did not want me here. I felt it in my bones. I knew she was just angry with herself for leaving her mother alone. It wasn’t really that she was upset with me. But it felt like a gut punch.
And I couldn’t even blame her for feeling that way.
I had to give her space. As much as I hated it. I needed to let her work through her misplaced guilt on her own. But there was no way in hell I was leaving. I hung with Hendrix for most of the night and then crashed out on the couch for a couple of hours after making sure the girls were asleep.
Now I was making coffee and worrying that the girl I was in love with was pushing me away. But fuck that. She was mine. She needed me. I wasn’t going anywhere.
And yeah, I’d be giving her stress relief whenever she could sneak away.
She padded downstairs in her cute little bare feet. I heard her before I saw her. I could not stop the heat in my eyes as I looked her over. She looked damned good in her soft, faded, old-fashioned nightie. I noticed that she closed her robe and tied the waist.
“Hey,” she said shyly.
“Hey.”
I crossed my arms over my chest as I watched her make a tray for Mom, including a big glass of water to take her meds. She started brewing a hot herbal tea to help settle Meg’s stomach.
“Dana said mint is better. Too much ginger can cause blood thinning and her medication already does that.”
She nodded and flashed me a grateful smile with a barely audible ‘thank you’ as she grabbed the mint and put the ginger up on a high shelf so she wouldn’t forget. She busied herself making scrambled eggs and toast. I waited. Finally, she spoke.
“I’m glad you’re still here,” she said quietly. “I wasn’t sure you would be, after the way I acted.”
The tension left my body in a whoosh. I hadn’t even realized I was holding it. I was across the room and standing behind her in an instant.
“Don’t,” I said roughly, my hands landing on her shoulders. She leaned back against me. “Don’t even think like that. You were fine. Better than fine.”
“Thank you, Nick,” she said in a ragged whisper. “I’m not sure how I would be getting through this without you and your friends.”
“My family, you mean? They wanted to be there for you. They love you already.”
Her eyes were closed as she nodded.
“You’re lucky to have them . . . your family.”
“I am. I’m even luckier to have you.”
She sighed and I knew everything was okay. Melissa was okay. Last night was forgotten. She was my woman and we would get through this together.
The ‘L’ word was on the tip of my tongue, but I held it back. I was pretty sure I would freak her out if I said it. But fuck me, I loved the woman more than I could have imagined. She was everything to me.
I was pretty sure Hendrix would be okay with playing second-fiddle to Melissa. After all, he was the reason I’d fallen for her. I’d been waiting for her to grow up for all these years. I just hadn’t known it.
“I’ll take the tray up and then get dressed. Is Dana coming again?”
I nodded, my chin scraping her silky hair as I turned her to nestle against me.
“In a few hours. There will be another nurse who comes at night if we need it, but Dana’s our point person.”
“Thank you,” she said, her voice muffled against my chest. I tipped her chin up so I could look at her. I smiled.