“I have to get back to the hospital.” Shade slid the phone back into his pocket. “You going to send Knox over there?” He nodded at Willa’s house where the two older girls were staring out the curtained windows.
“No, they didn’t see anything. If they had, they would have said something.”
“They didn’t do it. Whoever trashed mine and Razer’s bikes did this.”
“I figured that out too late. I let my temper get away from me when I saw that word,” Lucky confessed.
Shade could understand how it would have struck a sensitive cord in Lucky.
“I’ll stop by in a day or two to apologize, since I don’t think she wants to hear anything I have to say right now.”
“I don’t think that woman wants to ever see you again, much less hear anything you have to say.”
“I won’t be getting a cupcake from her anytime soon; that’s for sure,” Lucky agreed glumly.
“I’ve had Jenna’s pussy and Willa’s cupcakes. I know which one I would’ve chosen, but you were never the smartest brother in the club.”
Chapter 92
Lily sat on the couch, playing with John, while he worked on the laptop next to them.
“Can you watch him while I go upstairs to get changed? He spit-up on me.”
“Of course,” Shade said, closing the computer before taking John from her.
“It always surprises me how easily you handle him,” Lily said, rising.
“I helped with Penni,” Shade told her as she went up the steps.
Shade bent his leg, placing it on the other one then laying his son on his lap. The baby’s blue eyes stared up at him as he sucked on his fist. Everyone who saw him remarked on how much he looked like Shade but he disagreed, seeing Lily in his cheeks and eyes. The blue was gradually fading, and a purple tint was beginning to appear. His son was going to have Lily’s eyes.
Over the first two months of his son’s life, Shade had become adept at pretending around Lily that he felt all the fatherly feelings he was supposed to have. Instead, when he looked at him, he felt the same void he did with everyone except his wife. However, he had been successful at keeping everyone in the dark about Penni when she was a baby, so he saw no reason he couldn’t do the same with John.
Lily came back downstairs, going into the kitchen and beginning to fix dinner.
“I’m heading into town to go shopping with Beth tomorrow. One of our church members is ill, so we’re going to take some food and a few other things to her. It’s Cal’s mother.”
Shade opened his mouth to protest but at her next words, it snapped closed.
“She’s dying, so I’m going,” Lily stated in a tone of voice which said she was going whether he wanted her to or not. “Besides, Razer’s going with us, so we’ll be perfectly safe.”
“You could have said that from the beginning.”
“I could have, but then I wouldn’t have seen that look on your face,” Lily teased.
Shade smiled wryly. Lily had become adept at teasing him. Motherhood suited her, giving her a confidence he had never seen in her before.
She had also become even closer to Rachel, the two spending large amounts of time together since Rachel had moved into the clubhouse while Cash remodeled their fishing cabin into a home for the two of them.
Lily had even gone to Mag’s house a couple of times. He had dropped her and John off then returned to pick them up when she called. No one would be crazy enough to attack Lily at that old bitch’s house.
No trace had been found of Brooke, and her family hadn’t given Evie any information they could use. To top it off, Pastor Merrick seemed unworried by his wife’s absence when Knox had questioned him several times.
“That fucker gives me the creeps. I don’t care if he’s a pastor or not,” Knox had told him.
“He’s not concerned she’s missing?” Shade had asked sharply.
Knox had shaken his head. “Said she goes on trips with her friends. Seems to think she’s laying on a beach somewhere, that the kid is with the grandmother. We’re checking it out. I’ve never seen a man deluding himself to the extent he is.”
“That’s why Brooke picked him; he’s easily fooled and believes every word out of her lying mouth.”
“If she goes for that type, why is she so hung up on you?” Knox had joked. Shade hadn’t thought it funny then, and he didn’t now. He should have taken care of Brooke after Evie’s attack.
John wiggled in the bassinet as they ate a quiet dinner. After they had loaded the dishwasher, Shade packed him upstairs and played with him on the bed as Lily showered.
She blow-dried her hair before lying down next to him on the bed. Then she lowered her gown and picked John up. He rooted for a brief second before latching on to his mother’s nipple.
Shade laughed at Lily’s wince, rising off the bed. “I’m going to take my shower,” he said.
Going to the bathroom, he stepped into the shower and turned the water on cold. He hadn’t touched Lily since before she had delivered the baby; as a result, his cock was nearly bursting after watching her nurse their child. The doctor had given them the go-ahead to have sex again, but Shade felt Lily wasn’t ready.
Neither of them had brought up the details she had found out about him; therefore, Shade felt he should let Lily take the lead. She deserved to have time to think things through before they came back to the level of intimacy they’d had before. It couldn’t have been easy finding out you were married to a monster the same day you gave birth to his child.
Shade managed to get his raging hard-on under control. When he went back into the bedroom, Lily wasn’t there. For a second, Shade’s heart stopped until he heard her singing from the next room.
She sang to John every night when she put him to sleep, not that he would sleep long. He awoke every three hours like clockwork.
Shade was watching television with Lily sleeping next to him when he heard John waking. Shade quietly got out of the bed without disturbing her as he went to the nursery.
“Sorry to disappoint you, little man, but it’s just me.”
Shade changed his diaper and laid him back down before going downstairs to make him a bottle.
Lily had diligently pumped her milk, telling him it was so he would be able to give John the occasional bottle. She believed it would help them bond.
Shade went back upstairs, lifting his wailing son into his arms then sitting down in the rocking chair with him. Shade placed the bottle in his mouth and watched him suck the milk down.
Lily was wrong; he felt no different than when he had given a bottle to Penni or one of Razer’s kids.
His son’s eyes drooped as he sucked.
“Twinkle, twinkle little star…” Shade sang.
His son’s blue eyes opened, tearing up before jerking his mouth away. Then he began to scream.
“I think you scared him.” Lily giggled, walking forward.
Shade gratefully relinquished his wailing infant. “I scare everyone.”
“Not me,” Lily said, taking his place in the rocking chair. “At least, not as much anymore,” she clarified at his raised brow.
“I’ll do some work while you show up my singing talents,” he teased, watching the two of them together until he made himself leave. The look on her face when she stared at their child always captivated him. It was like she was holding a miracle in her hands.
Shade was working on his laptop when Lily came to bed. He shut it before turning off the light. Lily rolled toward him, laying her head on his chest and her arm over his stomach.
Shade gave a brief laugh as he twirled a tendril of her hair around his finger.
“What’s so funny?”
“I was just remembering, when we first started sleeping together, I was the one who held you, but now you’re the one who holds me.”
Lily started to rise. “I didn’t—”
“Stay,” Shade said, pressing down on her back until she lay relaxed against him again.
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“Shade, I don’t believe those reports.”
“Lily…” He wasn’t going to let her believe another lie about him, and he wasn’t about to go back to the last year of fearing she would find out the truth. Her finding out had been a relief in a sense, taking the weight of fear away.
“Don’t tell me you don’t care about The Last Riders. I won’t believe it. Don’t tell me you don’t care about Penni, Beth, or our child, either.” Lily’s voice trembled. “I won’t believe you. Not everyone loves the same way. You just show and feel it differently from the rest of us.”
“I buy that I’m different,” Shade agreed as Lily began kissing his chest, moving down toward his stomach.