Calder crossed his legs at the ankles. “Try living up to a big brother who had thousands of dollars on the line for endorsements, and he gave them up to try to get me clean after I started using after getting my father killed. Not only did the endorsements dry up, so did his marriage. My old lady dumped me when I was in prison, and when I got out, the only job I could get was working for my brother. Every day I go into work, I can tell he’s wondering if this is the day I’ll start using again.
“This is your first attempt at rehab. I’ve had three. If I hadn’t been locked up long enough to get clean, I’d still be using. And despite all of the shit that he’s done for me, you know what bugs the fuck out of me about him?”
Reaper felt the beginning of tremors shaking his legs as he unsteadily made his way to his bed to sit down. “No. What?”
“His fucking nickname. Stud,” he snorted out enviously. “And you know what really puts the cherry on top of my shit sundae?” Calder rocked his head back and forth, prompting Reaper to ask the question he wanted.
“No. What?” Reaper gave in, commiserating with him as only a younger brother could.
“He married a woman nicknamed Sex Piston, and she’s hot as fuck.”
“Damn, that would suck.” Reaper could feel his pain.
Calder raised his hands in frustration. “Yeah, it does, right?” Dropping his hands, his face turned mournful. “I used to want to be him just for a single fucking day to see what it would be like.”
Reaper raised a questioning brow. “You don’t anymore?”
Calder shook his head sadly. “Hell no! I finally had to admit that I’d never be man enough to step into his shoes, not even for a fucking hour, much less a whole day.”
“Why not?” he asked curiously, lying down sideways on the bed and stuffing a pillow under his head.
Calder gave him a pained look of acceptance. “Did I mention he was married to Sex Piston? Brother, I’d never want to live up to that challenge.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
“You can block her number if you don’t want to answer,” Shade suggested from the other side of the table, laying his napkin on his empty plate.
Reaper raised his eyes away from the cell phone laying on the patio table. “I know.”
Shade’s gaze met his. Unlike Viper, Ton, and the other brothers who visited, Shade didn’t pull any punches.
“You look like shit. You need to start eating more.”
“I don’t have much of an appetite.”
“Why? Because your stomach can’t tolerate food or you just don’t give a fuck?”
Giving him a grim smile, Reaper braced himself. Shade was a brutally honest man and what allowances he had made for Reaper were rapidly evaporating each time he came for a visit.
“Why are you here, Shade? Don’t feel like you have to just because the other brothers do. Don’t pretend you have an ounce of feeling for me. I know you too well.”
Shade’s gaze turned steely. “I know you too well, too. Enough to know that, if you’re waiting to see Taylor because you want to look like you used to, then you’re twiddling your thumbs needlessly. You’re the one who bragged about her loving you regardless of how many medals you had. If she loves you as much as you think she did, she’s not going to give a fuck how you look now or what happened; she’ll just be happy you’re alive.”
“If Taylor loved me, she would have come to see me at the hospital and not had to think about it. How long did she wait until she started dating?”
“You really want to go there? I’m not going to sugar coat my answers to you.”
“How long?” Reaper firmed his jaw.
“A while. To tell the truth, I didn’t keep track. Train was the one who spent the most time with her. Razer and I were in Treepoint, trying to get the factory started when Viper called and told us she tried to kill herself right before Train left to come to Treepoint. He stayed with her until she was better. She started dating Burn before he joined us.”
“She married Burn?” He met Burn a few times before leaving the club. He served in the Navy with Moon and had stopped by to visit him and stayed. That was pretty much how most of the members had joined.
“Yes.”
“He was a nice guy.” Becoming nauseated, Reaper shoved his still full plate of food away.
“He still is.” Shade nodded. “He left the club before they married.”
“Have they been happy?”
“You’ll have to ask Taylor that question when you talk to her.”
Reaper laid a hand on the phone, silencing it when it started ringing again. “I will later.”
“Suit yourself.”
“Who does Viper have watching the Road Demons’ clubhouse?”