A Family Made at Christmas

The visit to the house was the hardest. And she could relate to this. She really could. She’d had to pack up her sister’s house and give away some of her belongings. She’d heard other people talk about it in the past, but you could never really appreciate how hard something like this was until you had to do it yourself.

She fingered her necklace as they reached the house. Two intertwined gold hearts. Her parents had given Mallory and April the same thing for their twenty-first birthdays. Mallory had been buried wearing hers.

The first surprise when they reached the house was the tree.

It seemed that Isabel loved Christmas and even though it was only November the tree was already up and covered in decorations.

‘We did that last week,’ Finn said shakily.

April knelt down and looked at some of the decorations on the tree. She could see instantly they’d been made by a child’s hands.

‘Will we take some of these too? You made these, didn’t you?’

Finn nodded and pointed to a few of them, which April folded into some tissue paper that she found.

She’d done the practical things. She’d found all the clothes and packed them up. She’d helped Finn choose all the toys and books he’d wanted. Then she’d taken a deep breath and thought about all the sentimental things the foster carer had spoken to her about.

‘Photos,’ she whispered to Riley. ‘We need to find some photos for Finn to have of his mum.’

Riley knelt down in front of Finn. ‘Should we get some photographs? Pictures of you and Mum we can put in your new bedroom?’

Finn gave a nod and broke into a run. ‘This one,’ he shouted. ‘This is the one I have.’

April glanced at it and her heart gave a little flip. It was a picture of Isabel and Riley together. They were in a pub somewhere. He had his arm around her shoulders and they were looking at each other and laughing. It looked as if it could have been taken yesterday.

It was like a little spear hitting inside her.

Why? She instantly pushed the feeling aside. She’d no right to feel like that. Riley and her weren’t anything to each other. Never could be. She wasn’t at that point in her life. And he had his hands more than full for the next while.

Riley’s face had blanched. The letter had said Finn had a photograph of his dad; he must not have expected Isabel to be in it too.

April bent down and took the photo frame. ‘This is a good photo, Finn. I like it a lot. But let’s take some other photographs too. Ones of you and your mum together.’

Finn nodded and darted through to the main living room. April followed his lead and took a photograph from the wall he pointed at, and a calendar from the kitchen that had different photographs of them for every month of the year.

‘And the stick!’ said Finn. He jumped on top of a chair and found something on a shelf. ‘My mum has all our pictures on this!’

Riley gave a nod and put the USB stick in his pocket.

He bent back down. ‘Finn, do you want to take anything else?’

Finn hesitated. There was clearly something in his mind.

A wave of something came over April. She’d packed up Finn’s bedding to take with him. But after her sister had died, when she’d been packing up the house, she’d collapsed onto the bed at some point and been overwhelmed by the familiar scent from her sister’s pillow. She’d sobbed for hours.

She brushed her hand against Riley’s. ‘I think I know,’ she whispered.

She reached out with her other hand and touched Finn’s head. ‘Should we take some other things of your mum’s? How about her pillow, or a blanket that she used? Is there a jumper she loved? Do you want to take something like that?’

Riley squeezed her hand. He must know what this was doing to her. But his look was pure gratitude.

Finn sniffed. So April took his hand and gathered up the things he showed her. He buried his face in his mother’s pillow for a few seconds and let out a sob. She couldn’t help herself. She gathered the little boy into her arms and just held him. ‘I know, honey. I know how hard this is. I’m right here with you. And so is your dad.’

The little body crumpled against hers and a tear slid down her cheek.

This wasn’t about her. This wasn’t about the family of her own that she’d never have. This was about a little boy who was desperately sad. But somehow it felt about both.

Riley seemed choked too. They gathered up the rest of the belongings and he walked Finn out to the car.

‘Wait,’ she said. Something had just struck her. She pulled out her phone. ‘Let’s get a picture of the two of you together.’

Finn looked up at his dad. ‘Can we?’

Riley seemed surprised at the question. He knelt down and wrapped his arm around Finn’s shoulder. ‘Absolutely. I’d love a picture of us both together.’

She knew she should capture it. A first picture of father and son together. But the smile Riley plastered on his face didn’t quite reach his eyes. They were still full of worry. As for Finn? He just looked a little nervous. As if he didn’t quite know what would come next.

She snapped a few. ‘Perfect,’ she said.

Riley strapped Finn into the car. As she walked around to her side of the car, he pulled her hand and stopped her, spinning her around to face him.

‘April, I just wanted to say something.’

Her heartbeat quickened. It was starting to get dark. Collecting the things had taken a little longer than expected. It had been such a big day. One she’d never expected to be part of.

Today was a Saturday. She might have gone into work for a few hours—even though she wasn’t on duty. She’d planned on working with Jake today, but when she’d phoned and left a message for him he’d been absolutely fine. The only other thing she would have done was pick up a few things for dinner.

As it was cold she might even have stayed in her pyjamas all day and watched Christmas movies on TV. Part of her knew that if life had gone as planned, she would probably have had a little pang about not going to Riley’s drinks last night. She would have had a twinge of regret that she wouldn’t see him again. But part of that would have been reassuring.

It would have left her clear to lock away the attraction she’d been trying to ignore for the last four weeks. She could have parcelled it up in a box like a Christmas present and stored it away in a cupboard. That would have been so much simpler than any of this.

Before she had time to think, Riley slid his hand behind her waist and pulled her towards him, resting his forehead against hers.

It was so up close and personal. They were at the back of the car. Finn couldn’t see them. The temperature had dropped; their warm breath was visible in the cold air.

A wave of emotions swept through her. She’d seen a whole other side of Riley Callaghan today. There had already been a glimmer of attraction. Now, she’d seen him at his most exposed. She’d been there when he’d got the news about Finn, then met his child for the first time. It felt too big. Too much. More than she could handle right now.

Finn was adorable. He pulled at every heartstring she had. In a way she knew that she’d picked up some things that Riley might have missed. Riley would be a good father; he just had to get to know his little boy first.

Her heart flipped over. That parent relationship. The one she’d never have. The one she’d never even allowed herself to think about since she’d made her decision. For a few seconds today she’d felt...something. Even if it was only tiny. That urge to reach out to help a child in need. She pressed her lips together and tried to push all the emotions away.

She had to think about the surgery. She had to think about preparing herself. She didn’t need her heart tangled up in this mess. She had to keep it somewhere safe.

She hadn’t moved. His head was still pr

essed against hers.

‘Thank you,’ he whispered. ‘Thank you for coming here with me today.’

She gulped and pulled back.

‘You’re a colleague. No problem.’ Her hand brushed against a piece of paper she’d pushed into her pocket. ‘I think it’s best if you and Finn have some time to yourselves now. I’ve got a couple of numbers of friends from Isabel’s phone book. I’ll talk to them to get an idea of what she would have liked. They might want to help with the arrangements.’

A frown furrowed Riley’s brow. ‘That would be great, thank you.’ The words were pleasant but the look on his face told her something different. It was almost as if she’d just abandoned him on a cross-country hike with no provisions.

And he didn’t say another word until he dropped her back at her house.

CHAPTER THREE

THE THING ABOUT life throwing you a curveball meant that you didn’t always get things right. Finn was the easiest and best part of it all. Riley had heard children were resilient and Finn was still hesitant around him.

But they’d set up his room the way he wanted, hung up his clothes and established a little routine. When he’d heard Finn crying in bed one night, he’d just gone in, wrapped his arms around him and lay with him until he stopped.