She took another breath. ‘And my dad wasn’t perfect. I admit, I loved and adored him. But as a child I didn’t realise how his flyaway behaviour put extra pressure on my mum to be the foundation of the family. To try and hold down more than one job.’ She put her hand to her chest. ‘It’s affected me more than I’ve ever realised.’
She took a few moments to speak, and when she looked at him again her eyes were filled with sorrow. ‘But how can I leave now I’ve come back to find this? I can’t walk away from my mum when everything is in such a state.’
It was like someone switching a light on in his brain. Even though she’d been mad at him for the photo—even though she hadn’t really understood the context—it hadn’t been the most important thing to her.
He’d seen how damaged the house was. It could take months to fix—if it could be fixed. Esther had already made up her mind that she needed to stay to support her mother. She had no intention of coming back to London.
He looked at her as his breath caught halfway up his throat. He hadn’t even considered this—and to anyone that knew Esther, this was obvious.
‘We can find a way to work things out,’ he said determinedly.
‘How? You in London, me up here?’ She shook her head. ‘That’s crazy. We both know it is.’
There was a loud knock at the door and Gladys came back in, a shopping bag clasped in one hand, and a large man at her shoulder.
‘Esther,’ she said apologetically. ‘The fire guy is here. He said he can let you collect a few things from the house.’
‘Let me help,’ said Harry as he grabbed his jacket.
For a second he thought she might refuse, but then she gave a little nod of her head. ‘Okay.’
Her voice was cracking again; as she headed out in front of him, Harry hoped it wouldn’t be the last word he would hear from her.
* * *
Five minutes later Esther had a hard hat on her head and some strict instructions from the fire guy. They’d had a quick chat about things she would really like to retrieve from the house and where they might be. Part of the roof was dangerous and was a complete no-go area, along with the kitchen.
‘Brace yourself,’ the guy said. ‘The inside of the sitting room is completely smoke-damaged.’
Harry’s face had remained steady. He put his hand on her shoulder as they went through the front door and she was glad to have it there.
The acrid smell of smoke burned her throat as she stepped inside. It seemed that even though many of the items of furniture in her mother’s house met with the newer fire regulations, there had still been a few older pieces that had burned to a crisp. Amazingly, her mother’s old heavy curtains were entirely intact, even though they were blackened by the fumes.
Harry moved quickly, picking up the photos she’d asked him to from the mantelpiece and the walls. Esther pulled open a cupboard under the stairs and retrieved the box with all the documentation they would need with her mother’s bank details and different policies. Next were some photo albums, and a few more sentimental pieces.
‘What about upstairs?’ she asked.
‘Which side of the house?’ asked the fire officer.
Esther pointed. He nodded. ‘Okay, I’ll send one of my team up. That side is unaffected but I’d still rather it wasn’t you. Tell me what you need.’
A few minutes later she had most of her mother’s clothes and shoes in boxes. The majority of the items had very little obvious smoke damage as they’d been sealed inside an old-fashioned wardrobe. It was likely, with a quick laundry, her mother’s clothes would be fine.
Esther gave a sigh of relief. ‘I think that should be everything for now.’
The fire officer nodded. ‘We need to make the house secure in the meantime until repairs are done. You might not get back in here for a while.’
She gave a tearful nod. This was the house where she’d grown up, created all the memories that Harry was so envious of. But that’s all they were. Memories. She still had her mum, and she needed to make sure she got things sorted out. As she picked up the last few things she wanted to take with her she was overwhelmed with sadness.
Of course she was going to do this for her mother. But part of her heart ached in sadness over Harry. He’d kept a stoic look in place as she’d told him that she couldn’t come back to London, and she would never ask him to give up anything for her. She had to. Of course she had to.
When he’d told her exactly how things had been for him as a child all she’d wanted to do was run over and wrap him in her arms. But what would that achieve? Twice she’d heard him use the words that made her heart want to swell with joy. She couldn’t let herself respond. She couldn’t tell him that he’d completely and utterly stolen her heart too. Not when she had to tell him she wasn’t coming home.
The word was like an arrow through her heart.
Home. That’s what Harry’s house felt like. Not her own flat back in London—it had never felt like home. But the town house? It felt like home because Harry was there. Every association she had with that place revolved around him. Him lying in the bed beside her. Her slumping in his arms on the sofa. Him cooking eggs and pancakes in the kitchen, sometimes for breakfast, sometimes late at night. If she stood in the town house and breathed in, she could smell him, because Harry smelled like home to her now.
‘Hey? Okay?’ He’d walked over and slipped an arm around her shoulders, obviously thinking she was upset about the house, and not the person who was standing next to her.
She blinked back the tears. She had to. Her heart was still aching for him. She wanted to tell him that she loved him too. But how could she do that when she couldn’t see any way for them to be together now? She’d have to start looking for jobs. Anything would do. There was a nursing home nearby; she could try them first. It wouldn’t be the same salary she’d be getting in London, but it was somewhere to start.
She shook the hand of the fire officer. ‘Thank you.’ Right now, as much as she loved this place in the past, she couldn’t wait to get back outside.
She walked quickly back down to Gladys’s house. Harry put a hand on her shoulder. ‘How about I go and find us some coffee?’
She nodded and pressed her lips together. It was almost like he knew she needed a few moments alone.
She started going through the box of documents. The sooner she started to deal with things, the better. But the first phone call to the insurance company made her stomach plummet.
‘What? What do you mean?’ She listened, thinking that the woman at the end of the phone was clearly from another planet. ‘Not paid. When? That can’t be right?’
Her mother’s bank statements were neatly filed in a little folder. Esther started to flick rapidly through them, finding all the direct debits and swallowing as she saw the bank balance, and that some had been refused.
This couldn’t be happening. Please no. Not now.
She listened for a few more moments. The woman at the end of the phone was being lovely, but quite clear. As soon as the payments had defaulted, letters had been sent. There was a thirty-day window to make good on the payment, and then the policy was void.
She replaced the receiver in shock.
‘What is it?’ Gladys asked.
Esther glanced at the clock. The conversation had lasted more than an hour, but it felt as if it had gone by in the blink of an eye.
‘Sh-she has no insurance.’ Esther’s voice came out choked and half audible.
To her surprise, Gladys just gave a little nod of her head and sat down opposite her.
‘But I was sending her money. The last few weeks I hadn’t managed to work quite as many shifts, but I still sent her the same amount she’d always needed. I just couldn’t add any extra.’
Gladys’s face was sympathetic but tight. ‘Costs go up, Esther. The shopping, the gas, the electr