“Miss Cavencourt, the moon offers little light tonight, but even in this near Stygian darkness, the task you propose is quite impossible.”
Amanda raised her chin and turned her own gaze to the black water. “Then you shall just have to flirt all by yourself, because I most assuredly will not help you.”
“You are exceedingly kind,” he murmured. “That task is merely onerous.”
“Excuse me. I am not well-versed in these matters. I was under the impression that flirting, like quarrelling, takes two.”
“I said it was onerous,” he answered gravely. “Yet I am not frightened by the enormity of the challenge. On the contrary, if I don’t flirt, and very soon, something terrible might happen. I’m filled to bursting with double entendres and leading questions. If I don’t let them out, I might... explode. I don’t mind exploding, really, if I must, but you might be struck by a flying limb, and that would be most improper. Not at all the thing. Mrs. Bullerham would never countenance it.”
A half-strangled laugh escaped her, floated upon the sea breeze... and sank into a taut silence. She hadn’t noticed he’d moved, but he was much nearer now. His presence, dark and oppressively masculine, seemed to enclose her.
“You don’t know you’re provocative, do you?” he asked, his voice low, puzzled.
Alarmed, Amanda swung round sharply. That was a mistake. She came up short mere inches from his chest. Her glance flew to his face. It seemed a long way up. She felt very small, vulnerable, and trapped. “What are you doing?” she demanded.
“Flirting. All by myself.”
“You are not. It’s—it’s something else entirely.” Where the devil was Padji, confound him? The air was quite cool. Amanda felt feverish, and her heart seemed to shrink very tight in her breast.
Shadows veiled the valet’s expression, and in the darkness his blue eyes gleamed black, unreadable. Yet her other senses had grown painfully acute. She was conscious of a faint, lingering aroma of tobacco and some light cologne or soap. Her ears caught the quickened sound of his breathing. Or was that her own? She retreated, and felt the rail dig into her back.
“It is something else,” he said, more softly still. “I’m trying to pretend you’re a man.” He face bent closer. “I’m trying to remember my place.” His arms brushed hers as his hands clamped down on the rail on either side of her. “It’s not working,’’ he whispered, his breath warm on her face as his mouth descended to hers.
A hairsbreath from contact, his head jerked back abruptly. Amanda blinked, then saw two large brown hands gripping the valet’s shoulders.
“The mistress is sleepy,” Padji said sweetly. “It is time for her to retire.”
***
Nearly seven curst months, Philip raged silently while he stood at the rail and pretended not to watch Miss Cavencourt chatting with her companion. Seven months and not even one miserable kiss. Seven months on this vessel with the same woman, and he hadn’t so much as touched her. Nor would he. He’d seen to that, hadn’t he?
Two days had passed since his ill-fated attempt, and Amanda Cavencourt had not come within fifty feet of him, curse her. But he couldn’t curse her, really. Though she might break a few rules, ignore a few conventions, she wouldn’t break them all. Luna and the rani hadn’t possessed her entirely. England’s oppressive morality maintained a hold.
Philip ought, actually, be grateful he was still alive. He didn’t deserve to be. An unforgivable lapse, that. He’d known the Indian was standing guard, and the Falcon had simply... forgotten. One moment he was aware, as always, of every detail of his surroundings, of every sound. The next, he was aware only of her, of her husky voice and unconsciously sensuous movements and the maddening scent of patchouli. He’d wanted to lose himself there, in her.
Now she wouldn’t even speak to him.
“Portsmouth,” Padji repeated stubbornly.
“He said Gravesend. Even Captain Blayton said Gravesend. Mr. Wringle and Mr. Brentick will disembark there with the rest of us,” Amanda said, for the fifth time.
“The mistress troubles her mind with the duties of her slave,” Padji reproached. “I speak to the sailors. They tell me many things of England. They are patient with the ignorant black man and draw him maps. The two will leave us at Portsmouth, for that way is quicker.”
It was quicker, Amanda had to admit. Lord Hedgrave lived in Wiltshire. “Then you are saying Mr. Brentick lied to me.”
Padji shrugged. “Sometimes the servant must say what the master tells him to say. Sometimes the servant is told lies, and believes them. I am fortunate. My mistress utters only golden truth to me.”
Amanda gazed unhappily about the galley. “Do you realise what you’re saying?” she asked. “The captain expects to reach Portsmouth tomorrow morning.’’
“I have told the maid. She is prepared. There is naught for you to trouble with, mistress. All is in readiness.”
“All? What about me?” she demanded. “Am I supposed to stand about idly the whole time?”
“Yes, O beloved daughter of the great Lioness.”
Nothing to do. Nothing to say. Not a word. Not even good-bye. All the same, it was better she said nothing. After the other night... when he’d almost kissed her.
Amanda knew she was not the most decorous woman. She would never be altogether a lady—at least not the conventional sort. Still, she wasn’t a lightskirts. It was one thing to treat servants as human beings and friends, for her servants had always been her friends. It was quite another to be kissing someone else’s servant. One was not supposed to kiss any man, even a gentleman, unless one were betrothed to him.
So it needn’t have anything to do with rank at all, rather with what was right and what was wrong. Except, Amanda reflected sadly, she’d never entirely accepted all her culture’s rights and wrongs. Except, she added more sadly, she had wanted that beautiful, naughty man to kiss her, more than anything else in the world.
Chapter Ten
“Well, lass, what’s this?” Jessup asked as Bella set the tray down. “Not spirits, is it?”
Bella grinned. “My mistress don’t know, and she’ll be fit to be tied if she finds out. But you been complaining how thirsty you was, so I thought, no harm in a drop. But mind,” she added, shaking a finger at him, “only a drop. You don’t want to end up a sick old wreck like my poor pa, do you? Like I told you, Providence gave you another chance to mend your wicked ways.”
“I was hopin’ I didn’t have to mend all of ‘em,” he said meaningfully. “A man needs somethin’ to look forwards to. Like a bit of a cuddle now and then with a pretty lass,” he added with a wink.
“Well, I can’t think what pretty lasses you could find just now,” Bella answered, eyes downcast.
“Can’t you?” he asked. He took hold of her hand. “Mebbe you’ll think clearer when you’re not so thirsty.”
“Only a taste for me, Mr. Wringle,” was the prim answer. “Spirits always make me act so foolish.”
“Do they now?” he answered cheerfully as he released her hand to take up the bottle.
The crew members who weren’t sensibly sleeping were very non-sensibly engaged in jollity upon the forecastle. The noise carried but faintly to the stern, where Philip stood.
He was half tempted to join them, to spend this last night blind drunk.
It was the first night of the full moon, which was partially veiled now by a thin cloud. Yet it shed light enough to dance upon the water, which shimmered blue-black in the night. The Indians, Philip recalled, attached some deity to every phase of the moon. Whose night was this? She would know, of course. Miss Cavencourt meant to write a book about the myths and legends she’d so assiduously collected during her sojourn in Calcutta. Perhaps he’d read it one day. By then he’d have forgotten her, very likely, or would recall just enough to make him wonder at how susceptible a long voyage could make one. He doubted he’d remember later how very much he wished for her company now.
Her hair was merely b
rown, he reminded himself, and hazel was an apt enough label for her eyes. She wasn’t pretty, nor even attractive, really, unless one had cultivated a taste for the darkly exotic. Nor was she so fascinating a companion... unless one preferred contradiction and secrets and was helplessly drawn to a woman who must be unravelled, like an endless puzzle.
His muscles tensed, conscious of an approach. Barely audible, the footsteps, yet he recognised them immediately. Philip didn’t move, didn’t so much as turn his head. He didn’t want to look at her when it must be only to watch her walk on past as though he didn’t exist.
The footsteps drew nearer. A few feet away, they paused. A moment later, she stood beside him, her hands upon the rail.
“Several deities are connected with the full moon,” Miss Cavencourt said, just as though they’d been speaking this last hour. “Anumati personifies the first day. She and the others are fertility deities. She in particular, though, brings her worshippers inspiration and insight, wealth and longevity, as well as offspring.”
Slowly, disbelieving, Philip let his eyes turn to her at last. She was gazing at the moon, and in the silvery light her uplifted profile seemed to belong to some ancient goddess.
“Does she bring me a pardon?” he asked. “I’m rather in need of one.”