“You,” he said. That was as far as he got before he went into another paroxysm.
“Lisle,” she said.
“So funny. You. Him.”
“You’re going to do yourself an injury.”
“You,” he said. “Only you.” He went off again.
She could only stand looking at him and wondering at him. When she’d come, he’d been so weary and stoical and now. . .
He took out his handkerchief and wiped his eyes. “Sorry,” he said.
“You’re overtired,” she said.
“Yes,” he said. “Probably.”
He came away from the wall. Then he convulsed again, laughing and laughing. She stood mesmerized, smiling helplessly while inside she seemed to be turning over and over like the golden dust motes that had danced about him. She was falling into something, falling over and over, because he laughed, and the sound was mischief and joy, and it was impossible to keep that sound out of her heart.
Then he stopped, and again wiped his eyes, and said, “Sorry. Don’t know what . . . Really, Olivia, you are beyond anything.”
He took her hand, to lead her to the door, she thought.
And then she was against the wall, in the corner by the door, and his hands were cupping her face, and she tasted the laughter when his mouth covered hers.
Chapter 11
She was wonderful. He’d only meant to tell her so.
Lisle thought that was what he’d done, was doing.
But his hands came up, and then he was cupping her beautiful face and wanting to say, “I’d forgotten. I’d forgotten this part of you.”
He’d forgotten what a miracle of a girl she’d been, ready to try anything, face anything. The beautiful woman had got in the way, and he couldn’t see Olivia properly.
But she was the girl as well as the woman, a miracle as well as beautiful. He was looking down into her great blue eyes, whose color he couldn’t see in the shadowy passage and didn’t need to see, since it was engraved deep in his memory, the fierce blue that had so startled him on the day he’d met her.
And there was her mouth, full and soft and slightly parted in surprise, only inches from his. He couldn’t say anything at all. And then he was kissing her
He felt her stiffen. Her hands came up to his chest.
Push me away, yes, that’s best. But no, don’t, not yet.
The softness of her mouth and the scent of her skin and the nearness and the warmth: He wasn’t ready to give it all up. Not yet.
She didn’t push. The stiffness melted away and she became soft and yielding, melting into him while her hands crept up to his shoulders. She kissed him back, so quick and sudden and fierce. And there it was, the taste he’d tried to forget. It was like biting into a ripe cherry. It made a man forget all other tastes in that first ambrosial moment. It must have been a cherry that Eve gave Adam. What other fruit tastes quite so sinful?
He forgot other things, too: resolutions and conscience and wisdom. Strip them away and what was left?
He’d missed her.
Now she was in his arms, the girl he’d missed so much, and the woman, too, the human chameleon he’d known for so long. So fearless and confident a moment ago, so warm and yielding now. He surrendered, too, to cherry-sweet sin, and the scent of her skin and the faint traces of a flowery fragrance in her hair, her clothes. The scent slithered into his mind like opium smoke.
Something else lingered there as well. A shadow. A warning voice: Enough. Stop. Remember.
Not yet.
Her fingers slid up into his hair, and the touch, so caressing, reached deep. It found the empty place in his heart, the one he’d so carefully covered up, where he hid impossible wishes and longings. He ached, he hardly knew what for, but it wasn’t mere animal need, the simple, obvious thing. That he’d recognize. This was unfamiliar.
He needed something more; that was all he understood.
He slid his hands down to her shoulders and arms. He pulled her hard against him, and still searching for the elusive more, deepened the kiss.
She gave way as desert sands give way, sliding away while they drew one deeper. She dared now as she’d always done, answering his urgent searching with her own.
She didn’t know, either, what it was she looked for. He could sense it, that this world was strange to her, too. Here they were novices, though neither of them was innocent.
All the while, the careful walls they’d built to protect their friendship softened into sand and slid away.
He dragged his hands down to cup her bottom and crush her against his groin. She rubbed against him, unbearable provocation. He moved his hands restlessly over her breasts, but there was clothing in the way, too much of it. Infuriating.
He caught a fistful of skirt and dragged it up, but there was more—miles of skirts and petticoats. He kept pulling, drawing up more and more, while the fabric rustled so loudly, like a protest.
But she didn’t protest. She silently urged, inviting and daring him, her body moving against him, her mouth clinging to his. Their tongues’ toying and teasing had become a thrusting and parrying, a mimicry of coupling.
He made his way at last through the mountains of skirts, and his fingers grazed the edge of her stocking. Then his fingertips touched skin, velvety, feminine skin. He slid his fingers upward, toward the soft place between her legs. She gasped, and he gave a start, like a schoolboy caught at a prank.
Then her hand slid over the front of his trousers.
He inhaled sharply. At the same moment, he became aware of a crash. Metal on metal. Not far away. Near.
The kitchen. Aillier, banging pots.
If the pot had hit Lisle on the head, that would have been more effective, but it was enough to bring him back to the world, to where they were and what he was about. His wits—a part of them—returned. He broke the kiss, raised his head, and drew away a fraction.
She looked up at him, her head back, her eyes wide and dark, her hand still over the bulge in his trouser front.
She snatched her hand away.
He looked down regretfully, stupidly, at where her hand had been. He let go of her dress. It rustled its way down along her hips and legs.
“Lisle,” she said.
“That wasn’t what I meant to do,” he said. His voice was thick and dull. Dunce. “I meant . . .” He had to think.
Maybe he ought to bang his head against the wall.
“What you did in there,” he began. “You were brillia
nt. But . . . ye gods.”
She stepped back a pace. Her clothes were all every which way. Delicious. Terrible. What he’d done.
“It was a momentary exuberance,” she said. “We were carried away. We were excited because we could have been killed.”
“The ‘I don’t know what came over me’ excuse,” he said thickly. “That’s a good one. That’ll do.”
He looked so devastated.
Olivia understood why. He wasn’t like her. He had principles. He brimmed with duty and honor and loyalty—all the right things her stepfather had taught him.
Oh, she knew.
As to her—she didn’t need principles to be badly shaken. She’d come this close to losing her maidenhead. To him.
“It was my fault,” she said. “You know I’ve always lacked moral fiber. It’s the curse of the Dreadful DeLuceys. We’re all like that, except for my mother. But she’s an aberration.”
“We have to get out of here,” he said. “Now.”
“We can’t,” she said. “The servants will take one look at us and know we had a Clandestine Encounter.”
“They won’t know any such thing,” he said. “They’ll think we had a skirmish with the cook.”
She looked down at her dress. The bodice was twisted about. “This doesn’t look like a skirmish,” she said. She pulled it back into place and smoothed her skirts. Her hair was coming down, but it was no use asking Lisle to fix it.
“Go,” he said.
She moved past him and through the passage. He didn’t hurry ahead to open the door for her. She supposed he was waiting for his erection to subside. He had been prodigiously aroused—and she hadn’t needed to put her hand there to know how aroused, because it had been completely obvious, but. . .
She lacked moral fiber. Temptation came along and beckoned and she went, without a second thought.
He was far too exciting for an unprincipled woman to resist. He excited her even more when he was in a good mood than when, as at Stamford, he was in a bad one. This time her knees had completely melted away. If he had let go of her, she would have dissolved into a puddle of unresolved lust in the passage.