Find Me (Trust Me, Find Me 2)

Shaun: Hey! What’ve you been up to?

Claire: I went for a swim last night.

Shaun: You did?

A picture of Claire swimming in the lake invaded his mind and flooded his senses.

Claire: Yeah. Good job no one was about ‘cos the moon was out and it made me do something a bit mad. I got up and walked down to stand on the shore and then, I don’t know why, but I slipped into the water. Did you ever do that?

This was too much.

Shaun: No

Claire: Oh God, I’m sorry I told you that. It was weird, wasn’t it?

Shaun: Did it feel weird to you at the time?

Claire: Yes.

Shaun: So, what made you do it?

Claire: No idea. It was a spur-of-the-moment kinda thing. I thought, ‘what the hell?’ It’s so not like me.

Shaun: And was it cold?

Claire: No, it was so warm. And the sky was so clear. I floated on my back and looked up. I swear, it was like the stars were dripping out of the sky.

Shaun: The southern stars are so much brighter

Claire: Yeah. I’ve never seen so many and so big.

Shaun: Sounds like a magical moment.

Claire: It was.

That pang again as he thought about the stars, about her. God! How he wished he’d been there too. With her.

He cleared his throat, trying to squash his image of Claire with the pearl light on her olive skin and her sleek dark hair, floating naked on the top of the quick-silvered water.

He tried to focus, changing the subject.

Shaun: You’ve been here a week now. How are you enjoying it?

Claire: I love it.

Shaun: Not too quiet?

Claire: A little. I went around to Frank and Celia’s for a barbecue last night and I’m getting to know a few people in the town.

Shaun: That’s good.

Claire: It was a bit embarrassing, actually. Did you know that ‘bring a plate’ means to bring some food?

Shaun: Ah!

Claire: Yep... I did apologise. I thought they didn’t like washing up or something. But they were laughing so hard, that it was all okay

He could imagine Celia’s reaction. She was sure to be telling everyone about that faux pas for the next week.

But she had admitted too that she was a little lonely. Was it too isolated for her out at the lake? Was it boring her? How could he keep her occupied? Keep her there?

Shaun: What do you want from this job, Claire?

Claire: The challenge of getting stuck into something new, doing the best job I can.

Shaun: It’s not an interview question. I’m curious, that’s all. Come on, Claire, what is it you’re trying to get from coming out here?

There was a break in typing.

Claire: I need a bit of time out. I want to figure out what I want to do next.

Shaun: What are you running away from, Claire?

Claire: Myself. I need to stop running and find myself.

Shaun: Is that because you feel lost?

Another pause.

Claire: To be honest I’m a little tired, do you mind if we talk tomorrow?

Shaun: That’s fine. Goodnight, Claire

He rubbed his face.

She’d signed off, closed the conversation down. He’d pushed her too far.

Chapter 13

---------?---------

The tears roll down my face as I see what Annie’s posted. She’s tagged me in her photo. She’s only gone and told the whole world where I am. Of course, she wasn’t to know.

I messaged her as soon as I saw it on Facebook and she took it down immediately. But it’s been there for a couple of days, and the Scousers have inevitably seen that I’m here in New Zealand.

Nowhere feels safe anymore. Will I ever be free from them?

I’ve messaged Jason too.

He insists I tell Shaun immediately.

That means coming clean about everything. Telling him about the Scousers. What if he thinks I’m too high risk? And that I’ll bring trouble to his door? What if he tells me to go?

Weighing it up, I haven’t got much choice.

Wiping my face dry, I start to type.

Claire: Shaun, are you there?

It’s a good five minutes before the phone pings. Five minutes of pacing up and down the porch, trying to get my words and my shit together.

Shaun: Hi Claire. Are you alright?

It’s the middle of the day, and I bet he’s figuring that it’s odd for me to be messaging him.

Claire: The other night you asked if I was running away from something?

Shaun: And are you?

Claire: I’m scared in case you ask me to leave

Shaun: I’d never do that, Claire. I promise. What is it? Please tell me.

He sounds so concerned. It’s weird but I feel uncannily close to him; connected somehow.

Claire: You were right the other night. I am running

Shaun: What’s happened?

Claire: I’m running away from something bad that happened to me

Shaun: Are you in danger?

Claire: No. Nothing like that. I was involved with someone. It’s a long story

Shaun: Tell me

Claire: The guy was an informant and some bad people found out. I got attacked by them

Shaun: Did they hurt you?

Claire: Yeah. I have a scar. Down my neck. It’s horrible. And now I’m hideous, Shaun

There, I’ve said it.

Shaun: Show me

Claire: No

Shaun: Send me a picture. I want to see your face

Shaking, I hold up the phone and press the button. I can hardly bear to look at the image I’m sending him.

Shaun: You’re beautiful, Claire

Claire: Please don’t

Shaun: But you are

Hollow words. He’s trying to make me feel better and that makes it so much worse.

Shaun: You’re upset. Why are you telling me this now?

Claire: A criminal gang called the Scousers, they’re after the person I was with. He disappeared and they’ve been following me, thinking I’ll lead them to him, which is ridiculous. First, they tracked me to Greece, and now they’ve found out I’m here

Shaun: How?

Claire: My friend Annie posted it on Facebook. She’s deleted it but it’s probably too late

He’s a long time silent. I’m positive he’s regretting his promise not to get rid of me.

Shaun: Bloody Facebook! Do they know where in New Zealand?

Claire: No

Shaun: I wouldn’t worry, then. It’s a big country with two islands and where we are is pretty far from everyone. You’ll be safe. They won’t find you here

Claire: You think?

Shaun: Trust me

Claire: Okay

Shaun: If you see anyone acting strange, call the police and call me. I’ll come straight over. And if you’re worried, I can call Frank and Celia, and see if you can stay at theirs

Claire: No please, don’t do that. I’ll be fine. You’re right, this country’s massive and remote, and I haven’t seen anyone for days

Shaun: You sure you’ll be alright on your own? I can give up the job and come back?

Claire: No! You can’t do that. Ari needs you

Shaun: Hmm

Claire: I’ll be okay. Honestly. If there’s anything suspicious, I’ll call the police

Shaun: Good

Shaun: Did you love him?

The question surprises me but now’s not the time for lies.

Claire: Yes, I did. But, I did a terrible thing to him

Shaun: What?

Claire: I presumed that he was one of the bad guys too. And I can never tell him how wrong I was. Shaun, you don’t want to listen to this, you’ve been a big help, putting things into perspective when I was losing it

Shaun: Why can’t you ever tell him you’re sorry, Claire?

He pushes it, and

although I don’t want to go into it I feel obligated.

Claire: ‘Cos it’s too late.

Shaun: Why’s it too late?

Claire: ‘Cos it’s complicated. And I’m never going to see him again and there’s no way to contact him, so that’s that.

Shaun: What? Is he on the space station or something?

Claire: No.

Shaun: Dead?

Claire: No. Just gone. Actually, you remind me so much of him. The way we talk.

There’s no response. Great! I tell him a drug gang is hunting me down. He’s cool with that. I blurt out that Sion reminds me of him and he loses the plot.