Find Me (Trust Me, Find Me 2)

Claire: But… All the things I’ve said! Oh, SHIT! I’m SO Sorry!

Shaun: Woah. Slow down

Claire: I was only messing around; I wasn’t flirting with you. Honest

Shaun: I know

Claire: I really like it here and you’re my boss and I don’t want to ruin things and now I’m so embarrassed and I’m going to meet you and it’s all going to be super awkward and if you want to stop chatting, I totally understand

Shaun: Don’t stress out. I don’t want us to stop talking

Claire: You don’t?

Shaun: No why would I? Do you?

Claire: No

Shaun: So are we cool?

Claire: Yeah. I guess. But I’m still cringing. I’ve said way too much. And I can’t believe I told you about my naked swim

Shaun: You didn’t

Claire Oh God

Shaun: You only said you were floating on top of the water

Claire: Ground swallow me up. Please. NOW!

He grinned at her embarrassment. He’d think about that swim of hers later. It was fun teasing her. Was it time to tell her? Not everything, but a little bit more.

Shaun: I had a long talk with Rawiri tonight. You remember the kid I was telling you about? The one who’s working on the waka?

Claire: The canoe?

Shaun: We all went for a practice out on the water this evening and after, me and him had a bit of chat. Things are tough at home for him. I want to help if I can ‘cos things haven’t always been easy for me either

Claire: Can you help him?

Shaun: Honestly? I’m not sure. It’s hard when you’re in the middle of things. Things that you think are normal. But they aren’t, and you can’t see the bigger picture.

Claire: And Rawiri?

Shaun: He’s still stuck in that groove. His dad’s in a gang. He wouldn’t say much but he’s got that look about him like he’s seen stuff no kid should be seeing.

Claire: You sound like you know a lot about this.

Shaun: I do. I spent years hiding from my dad. By the age of six, I could tell you what skin smells like when it’s burned by a cigarette. And why you always keep your mouth shut about it.

Claire: Oh my… I’m so sorry, Shaun

Shaun: I packed it away. Buried it deep inside me and got on with life, as you do. Then one night a few months back, my past slammed into me hard.

He took a deep breath. How much would he say?

Shaun: A woman I knew well, she’d spent years being abused by her husband and she opened up to me about it ‘cos I saw her scars and, well, you can’t kid a kidder, as they say.

Claire: Did you help her?

Shaun: Yeah, I did. She was sick, Claire. So sick, that she’d had enough. One night she came to see me. She’d defended herself and she’d killed him. And I covered it up for her so she wouldn’t get arrested.

He held his head in his hands waiting for her reply, not daring to hope.

Claire: You did what you thought was right at the time

Shaun: And I don’t regret it

He wondered what she’d say about that, but she had to know the truth. He was glad that he’d helped Maureen that night.

Claire: So, you’re running too?

Shaun: Yes, I’m running too. I had to leave someone very special to me. And before you ask me the question I asked you, yes I did love her. I still do

Claire: And can you get in touch and tell her?

Shaun: Maybe, if she wants to find me

If only he could be there now. How he longed to wrap her in his arms. Feel her soft hair with his mouth, bring his lips down and trail them softly along her neck, kissing away all her sadness and anxieties.

His heart ached. Talking to Claire hurt more than the silence.

His thoughts were punctured by a knock on his door. It was late.

“Ari?”

Shaun got up from his bed, answering the door in his t-shirt and boxers.

“Michelle’s called. The baby’s coming. You good here?”

“Yeah, sweet.”

Shaun touched his friend’s arm.

“Good luck, mate.”

???

My head is spinning as I try to process this. I can’t sleep, everything he’s written keeps running through my mind.

Helping a woman… Then why did he have to leave?

And then the realisation seeps into my thoughts. And the crushing truth of it.

Does she know?

I scroll quickly through to find the photo of him climbing the rock.

Studying it, I can tell now, the shape of his body. It’s him. I’m almost certain of it. How could I not have known? Our conversations… our deep connection?

Now I see it, it’s obvious.

And he’s brought me here. And he loves me.

I can’t help myself, even though it’s way past midnight I click on the messaging app and type his name.

Claire: Sion?

My phone buzzes back in answer.

For the first time, a video call.

“You found me.”

He’s staring at me, his hair mussed up like he’s been finding it as hard to sleep as me.

“You found me too.”

But it’s tears, not words that are flowing now.

“Shaun,” I manage to stutter. “I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you and didn’t go with you that night. I was such a fool. I tried to call you but you’d gone. I’ve regretted it every single day.”

“Claire!”

His voice cracks too and I can see that he’s struggling to hold it together.

“I was so confused. Can you ever forgive me, Shaun?”

He sniffs.

“Yes. Of course. You’re here now.”

“Yes, I’m here.”

“Please don’t cry,” he rasps, rubbing his face.

“They’re happy tears.”

I smile at his face on the screen and wipe the salty trickles away.

“I’ve missed you so much.”

“Did you suspect?”

“No. But that bond we have, I’ve only ever had it with you. It was weird that me and Shaun had it too.”

He chuckles lightly and sniffs, serious again.

“I didn’t kill Glyn.”

“Does Annie know her mother killed her father?”

“No. It was for Maureen to tell her not for me.”

“I’ll never breathe a word of it, Shaun. I promise.”

Recovering himself too, he rakes his hand through his hair and looks straigh

t at me. His blue eyes piercing my heart.

“I’m not proud of everything in my past, Claire, but I was always working for the good guys.”

“Don’t worry, Jason told me everything.”

“My wingman.”

He looks relieved and still emotional. We both are.

“I met more of the Scousers after you’d gone. They came after me in Greece.”

“Jason told me. After that, I had to get you here.”

“You? Of course. There was no job. And Jason was in on it?”

His eyes burn with intensity as I mull that over.

“I never meant to trick you, Claire. But I wasn’t sure how you’d react if I contacted you.”

“I’m really glad you did.”

“You don’t need to be afraid anymore. I’ll protect you. You’ll be safe here, with me.”

His words make me ache for him.

“When will I see you?”

“Ari’s wife’s gone into labour. I’ll need to stay until the end of term.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

I can’t say more. I can’t tell him of how I’ll be dreaming about the warmth of his lips as they gently cover mine or the shivers of anticipation that wash over me in waves as I imagine his hands softly feeling their way around my body in tentative exploration.

None of that can be spoken about yet.

“Sweet dreams, Shaun,” I breathe, exhausted yet elated.

“You too, Claire,” he whispers back before I end the call.

Chapter 15

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The printed out photos lay flat on the desk in front of him. Several were of her with a friend on a wooden deck area at the front of a house. There was a good shot of her head. They’d used a telephoto lens and he could see her neck and make out the scar-line down it. It was her alright.

Irish leaned back in his chair and considered his next move. There was another woman with her, not Sion Edwards. That was disappointing. Was he going to waste time, effort and money chasing her down when the rat wasn’t even there?

He needed more. He’d wired the five thousand through, so it wasn’t unreasonable to ask.

He logged into the secure mailing account.

‘Cobra King,

Is there a man with her? New to the area. Six foot. White. Welsh. If you can get me proof he’s there, we’ll talk more.