Undeniable Love (Journey of Love 2)

“Oh God,” Ryn whispered as she followed me into the bathroom. Grinning, I shook my head. My girl loved being fucked in the shower.

As we stepped into the bathroom, Ryn let out a moan. Running her hands over the cool marble, she made her way over to the walk-in shower. Stepping into the travertine shower, you had to turn around a corner to get into the actual shower.

“Oh. My. God. How many shower heads are in here?” Ryn called out. Walking out of the shower, she made her way over to the bathtub. Staring into the tub, Ryn let out a soft whimper. “This house is amazing! There are so many places I want you to fuck me, I don’t know where to begin.”

Glancing over her shoulder at me, I felt my face drain.

This was it.

This was the very moment I had dreaded since the first time Ryn smiled her beautiful smile at me.

Swallowing hard, I rubbed my hand on the back of my neck. “I know where to start. We have the last room.”

The look that washed over Ryn’s face confused me. I wasn’t sure how to read her at all. Her face was blank. Emotionless.

Walking up to Ryn, I placed my hands on her face. “I want you to know I love you. I love you so very much, baby, and no matter what, I will do whatever makes you feel comfortable.”

Leaning her head into my hand, Ryn closed her eyes. I knew she could feel my tension. She could see on my face I was scared.

“I love you too, Tristan. I’ll love you no matter what.”

Taking her hand and turning on my heels, I walked her out of the bathroom, through my bedroom and to the room across the hall. Taking my keys out of my pocket, I unlocked the door and pushed it open. I watched Ryn’s face as she took a step inside the playroom.

Her eyes widened in surprise as they wandered around the room.

She was speechless. I wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or not. Ryn walked into the room more as she looked around. She moved ultra-slow as her eyes took it all in.

Finally, she turned to me. The slack expression in her eyes had my heart pounding against my chest.

“Ryn, talk to me.”

I KNEW TRISTAN WAS NERVOUS about something regarding his condo, but when he opened the door and I walked into the room, never did I imagine I’d be walking into a sex room.

My eyes wandered all over the room. The first thing I noticed was the king-size iron four-post bed sitting in front of a floor-to-ceiling mirror. There were handcuffs attached to each side and I thought back to the night in the shop when Tristan had cuffed my hands and feet. Looking at the bottom of the bed, there were more cuffs. Moving my eyes to the right, there was an array of different items hung up. I recognized the flogger immediately. There were different floggers, about six in all. The riding whip caught my attention next, along with the blue velvet eye mask.

Oh. My. God.

Moving along, I noticed a chair that looked like a chaise lounge. Hmm . . . that looked to be fun. A beanbag-like chair like what was in the media room was next to the chaise-looking chair. Sucking in a breath of air at the next chair, I bit down on my lip. It looked to be made of plastic and had places for a person to put their feet. I’d be safe to guess it was for when you were riding someone.

Interesting.

Looking back, on the other side of the bed there was a chest of drawers, this one was bigger than the one Tristan had in the bedroom at his shop. My mind was racing with what could be in there. Turning more, I noticed a sex swing hanging from the ceiling. That could be fun.

Placing my hand on my stomach, I felt sick as a thought occurred to me. How many woman had Tristan brought into this room and fucked? My mind raced as I tried to accept the fact that he had been with a number of women before me.

One more turn and my heart stopped. Attached to the wall was a giant wooden St. Andrew Cross with cuffs attached at each end. Next to the cross was a plain wood table. I didn’t even want think what that was used for.

How long had Tristan been into this? Why was he into this? How much was he into this?

A million questions flooded my mind at once as I turned and looked into Tristan’s eyes. The only way for me to get the answers was to talk to him.

I couldn’t move though. I was almost afraid to find out the answers to the questions. I hadn’t ever really played with sex toys before. The most I’d ever done was that night with Tristan and playing with my own vibrator.

Tristan sucked in a shaky breath. Fear was laced in his eyes and a shiver moved across the back of my neck.

“Ryn, talk to me.”

Closing my eyes, I attempted to push away the confusing thoughts I had. “How much are you into this? Do you do all the . . . hardcore stuff?”

Shaking his head, he said, “No. I’m not into all that. I don’t do role playing, I’m not into the dominant and submissive thing, although I do like to be in control sometimes.”

Looking around again, I quickly turned back to Tristan. “What are you into?”

“Fucking. Fucking hard and fast. Sometimes being a little . . . rough, and then the need for a safe word would be needed.”

Safe word.

“How long have you been doing this?”

Swallowing hard, he said, “Since I was twenty-three.”

“Oh. How did you come upon it?”

Looking away from me for a brief second, I knew he was conflicted in telling me, but I wanted to know. “My college buddy, Nick, and I were out one night. Midnight Rodeo.”

“The club we ran into each other at?”

Shaking his head he mumbled, “Yes.”

“We met two older women there. They came on to us, asked us back to their place and we went. I spent most of the evening in her playroom while she introduced me to a world that intrigued me. I’ve never gotten into the heavy stuff, but I like sex, Ryn. I enjoy fucking. One half of the club, the side you were on and I got pissed and made you leave, it is filled with mostly BDSM folks. It’s basically a pick-up spot.”

Placing my hands to my mouth, I asked, “Is that why you were there that night? You were looking for someone to bring back here?”

With a pained expression, he looked into my eyes. I could see the regret on his face as he began to speak. “You were the first girl I’ve ever seriously dated. I started having strange feelings for you that I’d never had for anyone before in my life. That’s when I met Liberty and started seeing her as well. I gave up the club scene as soon as I began dating you and then the whole mess last year and well . . . you know.”

Nodding my head, I wrapped my arms around my body in an attempt to warm up. Cold shivers ran across my body as I tried to determine if I needed to hear all of this. It was Tristan’s past . . . wasn’t it?

Clearing his throat, Tristan kept talking. “Things with Liberty were a joke, it was a show and I tried to make it work, but my heart belonged to someone else. So I did what I’ve always done, I ran away from my feelings. I realized that I was escaping my reality with sex. Mindless, hard fucking sex. So that’s what I did. I used sex as a means to forget.”

Tears filled my eyes and I didn’t want Tristan to see. Turning, I faced the bed. “How many women have you been with?”

“Ryn . . .”

“Please, Tristan.”

“A lot.”

“More than ten?” I asked as I squeezed my arms tightly around me.

“Yes,” Tristan whispered.

“Fifty?”

“No! Not that many, no.”

Spinning around I asked, “How many?”

Looking away he answered. “Twenty, maybe twenty-five at the most. Sometimes I was with the same girl more than once. It was a lot worse after college and when I got this place.”

Okay. So at least he hasn’t fucked all of Austin.

“Ryn, I need you to know that I would never push you into anything you didn’t want to do. I would never hurt you; I swear to God, I would never hurt you. I love you and I’ve . . . I’ve never—”

I had no idea what Tristan was going to s

ay to me and I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. Capturing his eyes with mine, I asked, “You’ve never what?”

“I’ve never had anyone I’ve cared about share this part of my life and I think that’s been a part of my fear with you. I love you so much and this is such a part of who I am and if you didn’t . . . if you didn’t . . . if you wanted to leave I’d understand . . . but—” Swallowing hard, I attempted to control the emotions swirling around in my head. I was standing in the middle of Tristan’s playroom and he was professing his fear to me. His fear of losing me.

Tristan’s voice faded away as I walked up to him. “Stop. I see it in your eyes, the fear. Please stop. I’m not leaving you, Tristan. I won’t lie and say this didn’t take me somewhat off guard, but I’m also very interested. There are a number of things in this room that caught my attention.” Smiling, I wiggled my eyebrows up and down. The smile that spread across Tristan’s face caused my heart to stop beating for a moment.

“Yeah?”

Nodding, I slipped my hand around his neck and pulled him down to my lips. “Yeah. I really want to see what we can do in that sex swing.”

Laughing, Tristan pulled his head back. His face growing serious he placed his hand on the side of my face. “Everything is new. I didn’t want you to ever be in here and have any fears or doubts. I had it all changed out over three weeks ago.”

Lifting my brow, I asked, “Everything?”

“Yes, Everything except for the bedframe itself.” My heart dropped in my stomach at the idea of trying out all of Tristan’s toys. The sex swing really peaked my interest. Knowing Tristan cared enough about me to not only be willing to walk away from this, but taking my feelings into consideration, had me wanting him more than ever.

“Tristan?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I want you to fuck me. Hard and fast.”