I tried to be part of the conversations and laugh when appropriate, but I wasn’t able to focus. At least Gabe helped keep up the pretense. What I needed were answers to why Dad had visited Apple Blossom. A weariness enveloped me. I was ready to go home and get my thoughts righted.
Home. The mental word brought me comfort. At least I was going to sleep in my own bed tonight.
Nonno stood and stretched his arms before he walked toward the door, bringing me back from my troubling thoughts. I met him at the door.
“This old man is going home, baby girl.”
“Bye, Nonno. It was good to see you. I missed you.”
“Missed you, too. I’ll be by to check on you in a few days. You look tired today.” Underlying his statement, Nonno was asking if there was anything else wrong. For those close to me, it would be easy to see through the façade.
Leaning into him, I hugged him fiercely. “The first trimester is exhausting. I’m tired and ready to go home.”
Not a lie. Making two kids was work.
He looked at me for a bit longer, and I mustered up a halfhearted smile. Satisfied, he kissed me good-bye, and we made plans to see each other again soon. Nonno disappeared behind the corner and I leaned against the frame. I hoped we could leave soon, too.
“Do you guys mind if I spend some time with Willow?” Carson asked.
The mention of my name caught my attention. Carson watched me. Oh shit. He knew something was up. The room stirred as Marie and Bennett stood.
Francesca kissed his cheek. “Of course. I’m going to get something to eat with your parents. Do you need anything?”
“I’m fine, baby. Thanks.”
One by one they left. It wasn’t uncommon for Carson and me to talk alone like this. But, by the way his brow wrinkled, this would be more a probing session than a friendly chitchat.
Gabe kissed my cheek and murmured, “Do you want me to stay?”
“No, I’m good. Promise.” I pecked his lips.
Gabe was the last one to leave and made sure to look me over one last time. The way his eyes held mine told me he wouldn’t be far in case I needed him.
Before he left, Gabe gave Carson a warning. “She’s had a rough day.”
A nod from Carson was the only response he received. The door closed and almost on cue Carson opened his mouth to speak. I held up my hand. “Let me sit before we talk. I’ll tell you everything.”
After taking the seat Francesca had used, I looked up at the ceiling for a second, to gather my thoughts.
Where do I begin?
I took another deep breath and allowed the clean smell of the room clear my thoughts. It felt as if my emotions wanted to swallow me whole. I had to remain strong. Later, I would allow myself time to break down.
The words I needed to say were locked away. Since we learned about Dad, I hadn’t verbally said my thoughts. Telling Carson would make this nightmare real. And this was a nightmare I wished would end.
I blinked a few times rapidly to rid my eyes of the tears threatening to spill over. “I… uh… let me see where to start.” My fingers massaged my temples. I can do this. This is Carson. Start from the beginning. Keep it simple and to the point. “I… taught at the school today. Met Alex Junior. He confirmed our suspicions that Alex is alive. Alex visits his son at night somehow. Trent’s monitoring it.”
“Son of a bitch.” Carson’s biting tone expressed the sentiments I felt.
Placing my hands in my lap, I met Carson’s stare. “It gets worse. Much worse.”
Carson shifted and his mouth was firmly set while bracing himself for the news. “When we were leaving, the woman who runs the school, Lisa, asked if I was Alfonso’s daughter. Long story short, I found out Dad had visited Apple Blossom right before he died.”
“When?”
I shook my head. “Don’t know. Trent’s getting that information from my accountant. We’ll be able to tell by the date of the check. We’ll know shortly.” I looked at my knotted hands, feeling utterly defeated. “Dad saw Alex Junior. Lisa said he spent time drawing with him. There is no way Dad would not have noticed the resemblance. Alex Junior is a younger version of Gabe and Alex.”
“Oh fuck.” Carson threw back the covers and sat in another chair next to me. His movements were wobbly and not fluid, but the warmth of his hands chased away the chill.
“Pretty much.” My lip quivered. “What if I was the reason? What if?”
I had to stop my train of thought. The possibility cut too deep.
The pressure from Carson squeezing my hand brought my attention back to him and away from the fears that had plagued my thoughts since learning the black truth. “This is not because of you. If your dad’s death is connected. This is on Alex. Only Alex.”
“But I brought Alex into our family.”
Carson’s stern voice spoke with conviction. “No, you brought Gabe into our family. Not Alex. Don’t carry that burden. It’s not something your dad would want or agree with. Don’t let this taint your life more than it has.”
The guilt still churned inside. “But… he might still be here.”
“You don’t know that. You can’t know what the future would have been. The past is the past and that’s where it belongs. All you can change is the future.”
His words were undoubtedly true. Later, I would process his wisdom.
Thankfully Carson changed the focus of the conversation. “What are Gabe and Trent doing?”
I cleared my throat. “Um… Trent is looking at the coroner’s report again. We’ll compare it against the check date to see how close it was to his death. I’m sure Gabe and Trent will want to chat with Gabe’s mother at some point.”
The sound of Carson scrubbing his hand over his face caused me to glance at him. His blue eyes looked saddened as he shouldered this knowledge with me. “Are you going with Gabe to meet his mother?”
“I want to, but we haven’t discussed it yet.” I leaned my head on his shoulder. “It’s like I can’t escape this nightmare. Will it ever get better?”
Wrapping his arm around my shoulder, Carson said, “It will. We’re going to get our happy ending. We’ve been through too much not to.”
“But at what price?” That was the ultimate question. Sometimes the price was too heavy for the things we wanted.
The question hung out there. I continued to drive the point home. “I met my children’s cousin today. He was a sweet boy. Talented. But, because of Alex and who he is connected with, I can’t put them in harm’s way. That little boy is an innocent bystander. It guts me, Carson.”
“I know it does, angel. I know.” Silence ensued for a few reflective minutes. Carson leaned away from me and narrowed his eyes. “Wait. Children? Yesterday, Gabe said babies.”
Oh shit. I had slipped. So had Gabe. “Um…”
“Willow… are you?”
“Um…” There was a flash of hurt in Carson’s eyes and I decided to tell him. We rarely kept anything from each other. “Gabe and I found out we’re having twins. We haven’t told anyone yet.”
Carson’s smile grew. “We are so fucked. We’re going to have three teaming up against the four of us. We stood a chance at two, but now we’re screwed.”
The first genuine smile appeared on my face since this morning. “We are. I feel bad for Francesca and Gabe. They’re paying for our sins through all this.”
He chuckled before becoming serious. “Are you happy, angel?”
This feeling had been missing for so long while he was unconscious. And now I had Carson back. Through all of the trials we faced, there were blessings. He tucked his blond hair behind his ear like I had seen him do so many times. “I am happy. Gabe completes a part of me I never knew was missing until we met. It’s why I fought so long to try to save my fake marriage to Alex. You know that song Dad loved, ‘’O Sole Mio’ by Luciano Pavarotti?”
“Yes, he played it a lot while he painted. It was your parents’ song.”
They loved that song
and danced to it often.
“It was. I get what the lyrics mean now. I mean I really get them. Since finding out I was pregnant and having Gabe back, I finally feel in my heart what Dad was trying to explain all those years about love being more beautiful than the sun.”
Carson squeezed me to him and I relished the touch. “I’m happy for you. It looks like you have truly forgiven Gabe.”
“I have. I want to be his forever.”
We were home.
Finally.
Today had been one of the longest days of my life. After arriving home, I ate some soup and went down to the beach. The waves reflecting the approaching sunset were a cacophony of colors. Even though Andre was on my left and Michael was on my right, they gave me enough space that I felt as if I were in my own private bubble while I sorted through the chaos.
Gabe had taken a phone call shortly before I walked to the beach. I asked Mildred to let him know where I was when he finished.
The waves crashed and inched closer to me on the shoreline.
Why hadn’t Dad told Trent about seeing Alex’s child? Or me? Alex must have known and stopped Dad from telling anyone. Otherwise, wouldn’t he have moved Alex from Apple Blossom? Why hadn’t Candy gone to see her son? I wasn’t sure. All this led to was more questions.
Of course, it hadn’t been confirmed that Dad had been murdered by Alex. But, the timing was beyond suspicious. Why had Alex gone to such extremes? If all of this had been for the money, I would have gladly given him my fortune in exchange for Dad’s life.
The water came up to my toes and I curled them in the sand. I loved the feeling as the sand disappeared beneath my feet. I have an old family movie of me as a child with Dad on the beach. He held my hands, and when the waves hit my feet, I would scream in excitement. At least I had the memories to pass on to my children.
I sensed him before he wrapped his arms around my waist.
“We’ll get through this.” Warmth radiated from him, chasing away the dark shadows invading my thoughts.
“Was that Trent on the phone?”