I can't imagine what it could be, because they were talking it up in the owner's box as we watched the game. While Lexi was definitely a bit reserved as she watched the game, she wasn't completely mute. She sat between Gray and me and talked with both of us. I didn't sense anything bad between them at all, but still...something had to have happened between the time I saw her in the hallway and when the game started, because that's when the change was noticeable.
"I need to see Lexi," I say abruptly to Georgia.
"Of course you do," she says with wink. "She's at the coffee shop and she'll be there all afternoon. I knew you'd jump into dad mode."
"You did?" I ask, momentarily distracted from my worry by my curiosity.
"You're a great dad," Georgia observes. "I watched you that night at The Grind, watching Lexi. I've seen how you've accepted her at face value and with open arms. I've seen--through the media, of course--that you've already raised an amazing daughter. So yeah...I knew you'd jump right on figuring this out."
Georgia smiles knowingly at me and turns her gaze back to her plate, cutting off another piece of lamb to put into her mouth. With no other way in this moment to solve my daughter's problems, I contemplate this curious woman before me. Clearly she has my attention, but I can't figure out if I should explore something or turn tail to run.
"What's your story, Georgia?" I ask casually.
She lifts her eyes to mine as she chews, then swallows, a wide smile gracing what I'm thinking is a near perfect mouth. "It's about time you got around to showing interest in me."
I ignore her rebuke, starting to figure out she likes to try to work her way under my skin. Well, she's firmly embedded there now, so I don't take the bait, instead just cocking an eyebrow at her. "Well?"
Georgia dabs at her lips, which amazingly still have a perfect sheen of lipstick on them, and pushes her plate a few inches away so she can rest her forearms on the table. "Well...let's see. I'm from Savannah, Georgia, originally. Came to Raleigh for my undergrad and decided to make it my permanent home."
"What did you study?" I ask her.
"Nuclear engineering."
Because this woman has point-blank told me some whopper stories before, I can't help but say, "You're kidding."
"I'm not," she says firmly. "I'm really smart."
"Then how did you go from nuclear engineering to owning a coffeehouse?" I ask incredulously.
She shrugs. "It just wasn't for me. Engineering, that is. I worked for a defense contractor in DC for several years after I graduated, and I hated it. The work was interesting, but I just didn't feel fulfilled. I went to work every day and sat beside a lot of other really brilliant people as we developed and enhanced nuclear technology, and I came home every night just completely exhausted in my soul. It took me awhile to get up the courage to make a break from such a steady career, but I've never looked back since, and I don't have a single regret."
Now that's goddamned impressive.
"Lexi said you have a son," I say to keep the conversation going, now more fascinated than ever by this woman.
Georgia's eyes sparkle and she leans in a little. "Asking about me, huh? I'm flattered."
I don't disabuse her of that, because although I didn't specifically ask Lexi about her, I do like the fact I've apparently flattered her. So I merely give her a sly smile that she can take how she wants and push at her, "Lexi says he lives out west."
Georgia sighs dramatically and waves her hand at me. "I love him to death, but he's also the bane of my existence. Let me tell you all about it while we finish lunch and you'll realize how lucky you are to have girls."
I laugh.
It's deep and stems from genuine amusement. For the first time, I'm not guarded with this woman and I let her carefree spirit charm me. I think I can firmly say that this is a good first date, and yes...I go ahead and admit that this is a date.
Chapter 14
Lexi
I pick up the empty coffee mug from the low table that is surrounded by four deep-cushioned purple chairs, and with the opposite hand, wipe down the wooden surface. Tossing my towel over one shoulder, I trudge back behind the counter, through the swinging door back to the small kitchen and deposit my load onto the counter beside the sink. I'll wash the dirty ones later, as we still have a large enough stock of clean cups to get us through the evening throng of coffee drinkers.
Luckily, the new employee Georgia hired will start tomorrow. She'll serve as a part-time barista, dishwasher, and server, as well as whatever bottom-of-the-totem-pole duties come with being the new kid on the block. Until then, I haven't minded the extra shifts, because they've kept my mind semioccupied. I've been so tired at night I don't even have it in me to dwell on the myriad of dark feelings that seem to be dwelling deep within me, easily succumbing to deep sleep as a means of avoidance.
I'm feeling completely unsettled and without confidence in myself. Also slightly betrayed and a bit disappointed in myself.
And if I'm honest...I'm a little bit angry at Gray.
I know her advice to me last week to stay away from Roman came from a place of genuine concern. I truly believe part of it was concern for me, and she admitted as much that she also had some concern for the Brannon name. I get that. I really do. But what's disappointing to me is that while Gray was quick to point out that her sisterly concern was indeed real, she never once considered my happiness within her advice. She never once paused to consider the ramifications on me personally.
It may have been too much to hope for, but if she likes me as she says she does, and if she has mostly accepted I am in fact her sister, then why didn't she consider that I might really like Roman and that we could have something potentially special? I mean, all indications were that we definitely had something unique, and we were both willing to see where it was going with an equal measure of excitement.
I think deep down, I might even suspect that Gray knows that I want to be a part of this family so badly that she may have even used that to her advantage, knowing that I'd put our relationship and whatever I could do to develop it as my number-one priority.
And now I'm doubting having done just that.
I think I underestimated just how much I'd come to like Roman. I didn't understand it until that moment he walked away from me in the hallway and a heavy blanket of sad disappointment settled over me. I didn't appreciate the level of intimate interest I'd had in him until that night when I got home, I sat on my couch and an overwhelming sense of yearning thrummed through me as I remembered us lying on the couch together to watch a movie. And when I say intimate, I'm not talking about sex. Yeah, I know sex with him would be stellar and mind-blowing, and I'm sure we were headed there sooner rather than later, but I'm talking about just the personal affinity I feel for him and the level of pure comfort I feel with him.
It's not something I've experienced before, especially not so soon in a relationship. It's almost intangible and undefinable, but it's absolutely real.
And now it's gone.
Ugh. I've got to shake this shit off. I can't continue to wallow, pining over something that is no more. I also have to figure a way to get past this brewing anger I've got toward Gray, because that most certainly isn't going to help me develop a bond with her. And finally, I need to open myself back up to the notion of being a family with her and Brian, to just accept my losses and move on, trying to be happy with my gains.
Fat fucking chance, my subconscious says to me sarcastically. It knows as well as I do that I've not been one
to have my life dictated by others. I've been making my own decisions and guiding my own failures and successes since I was eighteen, and every single experience has made me stronger and wiser. The fact I'm letting someone else dictate part of my happiness is frankly just chapping my ass, and I know I'm going to have to get this off my chest with Gray at some point.
But that is for another day, as I have to finish cleaning up from the lunch crowd and then grab some food for myself before I start working the back end of my double shift for the upcoming evening.
Squaring my shoulders, I turn and head back through the swinging door, then come to a dead stop when I see Brian standing on the other side of the counter with Georgia. They're both looking at each other, and Brian laughs at something Georgia has said to him.
I'm so surprised to see him standing there--with her--and that they're laughing together that I grunt slightly when the door swings back through and bumps me solidly in the butt.
Brian and Georgia's heads turn my way, and my dad's laughter dies but a smile remains that's filled with happiness to see me.
"Hey, kiddo," he says, and I'm not going to lie, I really like that affectionate term.
"What are you doing here?" I ask cautiously.
"You've been ignoring me," he says, then tips his head down to Georgia. "And we're both worried about you."
Oh shit. They're here to pick at my scabs that formed after last week, and I don't know if I'm ready to give Brian that level of access to me personally. Because if he scrapes that shit away and tries to get to the root of my feelings, he's going to know I'm not feeling warm and fuzzy toward Gray. And I don't want him to have to choose between us, because he'll choose Gray. Without a doubt.
So I roll my eyes at both of them and give a tinkling laugh. "You've got nothing to worry about. I'm totally fine, and I've got a ton of work to do."
"Well, luckily, as your boss, I can order you into my office so we can have a chat," Georgia says firmly. "And then you can get back to work."
"Georgia, seriously," I huff out. "There is nothing to talk about."