Her smile is guarded as she nods.
"So would you like to go to the zoo with us today?" I ask her.
I fully expect her to say yes, and I'm disappointed once again when she shakes her head. "Actually, if you don't mind...I'd like to pass."
"Why?" I blurt out.
Gracen responds with a tinkling laugh. "Trust me...you'll get there eventually, but sometimes parents just need breaks. I'm going to just relax and do nothing today."
I tamp down the small kernel of anger that flares over her words. It's another potent reminder that Gracen's had years with Lilly. She's had so much time with her that she needs and enjoys a break from parenting for a few hours, whereas I want all the time I can get.
But I push it down hard, knowing that I made a promise to Gracen that I wouldn't be a dick to her. I might still be struggling with some ugly feelings, but I absolutely refuse to take it out on her anymore.
So I give her a return smile. "Sure. No problem."
Chapter 14
Gracen
I open the glass door that leads out to a courtyard just off the hospital cafeteria. It's for anyone to use--patients, visitors, and medical staff--but today all of the tables are filled to capacity since it's an unseasonably cool day for September in the Carolinas.
Or so I'm told.
Spotting Josie sitting at a round table that seats four, I start winding my way through people. She'd texted me this morning soon after I got to work and we made plans to meet up for a quick lunch. We both work the same 7 A.M. to 7 P.M. shift today.
"I've got about twenty minutes," I say as I plop down in a seat to her right.
"I've got about ten," she returns with a grin, then takes a huge bite of what looks like a tuna fish sandwich.
"Show-off," I say with a faux grumble in my voice.
Josie snickers while she chews. I open the cellophane wrapper on the ham and cheese sandwich I'd grabbed from the cooler in the cafeteria. The line for the hot food was too long, filled with visitors who had more time than the medical staff did to eat.
As I'm biting into my sandwich, Josie is swallowing. She wastes none of her ten minutes. "How are things going with you and Marek?"
I ignore the true meaning behind her question and focus on generalities. "It was really nice having his parents in this weekend to meet Lilly. She really took to them."
That distracts her enough to let go of Marek. Her eyebrows furrow slightly. "How was it with them?"
"They were far nicer to me than I deserved."
Josie's look of concern turns into one of dismissal. "You deserve to have everyone treat you nicely, Gracen."
"Maybe so. But I also deserve some of their anger."
"But you didn't get it?" she asks.
I shake my head. "They were so sweet and forgiving."
"Marek could take a lesson or two from his parents," Josie mutters.
"Actually," I say as I pick at the crust on my sandwich. "He asked me to stay at the house rather than move into an apartment. Promised me he wouldn't be a dick."
Josie's eyebrow raises. "Well, well. This is a nice turnabout."
"Maybe." My noncommittal tone must contain what Josie takes as a secret message, because both her eyebrows shoot up.
She leans over the table and murmurs, "What's going on?"
"Nothing."
"Liar."
"I'm not."
"You are. Now spill," she growls at me.
I throw my hands up in the air and exclaim loudly, "Fine. He kissed me."
The people at the surrounding tables all turn their heads to look at me. My face flushes with heat and I duck my head. Leaning toward Josie, I mutter, "He, like, really kissed me and I kissed him back."
"So are you two...like back together?"
Shaking my head, I disabuse her of that notion. "No way. The kiss came on the heels of another argument where he was mad at me for keeping Lilly a secret. It was nothing more than him channeling that anger into something else."
"What was it for you?" she asks, her head tilted curiously.
God, it had nothing to do with anger for me. I kissed Marek back because I still loved him and loved that he was now trying to be a great dad to Lilly. I kissed him because I want him in all ways a woman can want a man.
I foolishly, stupidly, insanely want him.
I pick up my sandwich and look at it in consideration as I say, "I want peace in my life. I want to be happy. Those things aren't going to happen with Marek. So that kiss can't have any meaning to me."
Taking a bite of my sandwich, I let Josie process those words. She just stares at me, measuring perhaps my silent resolve not to delve into this any deeper. I can see the moment where she decides to push me. It's a twinkle in her eyes, totally calculating and mischievous.
I swallow my food, prepared to shut her down in case she has starry-eyed notions of M
arek and me getting back together, but a voice says from behind me, "Hey, Josie."
Twisting my neck, I look up and over my shoulder to find a very handsome doctor standing there. Even though he's said hello to Josie, he's staring at me. His brown hair is trimmed neat, and his matching brown eyes seem kind and friendly.
"Hey, Aiden," Josie replies.
I give the guy a smile, and the one he gives back to me is blinding before he steps to my left and takes a seat without being asked to join us. His gaze goes to Josie. "Going to introduce me to your new friend?"
Josie rolls her eyes and then waves her hand in my direction. "Aiden, this is Gracen. She's an L and D nurse. Today's her first day. And Gracen, this is Aiden McCune. He works in the ER with me."
"Dr. McCune, nice to meet you," I say as I stick my hand out toward him.
Rather than give me a strong, professional handshake, he takes my hand softly, and with the most charming smile I've been given in a long time, replies, "That won't do. You must call me Aiden."
"Oh geez," Josie mutters, and while I don't look at her, I can feel another eye roll being given.
Aiden just chuckles and releases my hand. He sits back casually in the chair and angles his body toward me. "I was just finishing up my lunch and saw you two over here. Thought I'd come introduce myself."
"And flirt," Josie adds.
My eyes cut to her and she smirks at me, but I can tell by the amusement in her eyes that this Aiden must be a good guy or she'd shut him down.
Josie then looks to Aiden. "Gracen's new to the area. Just moved down here from New York."
Aiden turns to me. "Oh yeah? How are you liking it?"
"It's a really nice area." I know that's not overly descriptive, but what else can I say? I've been here more than two weeks and haven't had a chance to do much other than try to stay away from Marek's wrath.
"What brought you here?" Aiden asks as he props one ankle over his knee, indicating he's settled in for some casual conversation.
I don't hesitate for a moment, because if Aiden is flirting with me in a serious attempt to delve into some good conversation, I'm just going to lay it out there to him. "I had a baby about three and a half years ago and kept it secret from the father. He recently found out and came up to New York, practically kidnapping me and my daughter, Lilly, to bring us back here so he could get to know her."