"That clearly wasn't the answer you wanted," he says guardedly.
"You left me because you wanted freedom," I remind him. "You didn't want to answer to a girlfriend. I'm not stupid, I know that meant you wanted to be free to be with other women."
"Gracen," he says in a chastising tone, but I hold my hand up to silence him.
"I'm not built to be just one of your women, Marek. I'm sorry, but that's not good enough for me."
I expect a few things. Anger, mostly that I'm cutting him off. Possibly some chagrin.
Instead, the nut job laughs at me. A deep belly laugh as his eyes sparkle with amusement.
"How is this possibly funny?" I seethe at him.
"Because I'm an idiot and don't express myself very well, apparently." I jolt at his proclamation and yes, there's the chagrin I'd been expecting, but for different reasons.
Marek crawls onto the bed. His hands go to my ankles, and with a quick pull and a yelp from me, he has me lying on the mattress again.
Nudging his way between my legs, which shamelessly part just as easily as they did a few minutes ago, he presses his elbows into the mattress near my ribs. This brings his face right over mine, his eyes locking onto mine. "Gracen...I haven't been with another woman since that day I walked into the church to stop your wedding."
"You haven't?" I ask, my eyebrows furrowing inward.
He shakes his head. "I can't lie and tell you it's because I was obsessing about you the entire time. Mostly, I was just so thrown by having a daughter that I was trying to get my feet underneath me. I couldn't really think about anything else. But ever since I kissed you that night I was drunk, well...you're definitely the only woman I've been thinking about."
"For now," I can't help but say, my voice small and meek. I hate that he makes me doubt everything.
"Yeah, for now," he confirms, and I hate his honesty even more. "But, Gracen...now is all we have. And right now, you and I have reconnected in a way that I don't think either of us planned on. You and I share something that I've never shared with another woman, and for some reason, that's changed something inside of me. I just...I want you. I want only you. I don't know what this means past that, but I'm guessing we'll figure it out."
It's not a declaration of love, but then again, I never expected that. While my feelings for Marek always remained, I know my actions--not telling him about his daughter--destroyed anything he may have felt for me.
Which is why this is confusing right now, but I guess you don't have to love someone to be intimate with them. While I was in love with Marek when I decided to give him my virginity, I've been with men after him I didn't love. I cared for them, and they weren't meaningless, but I've never loved anyone but Marek.
"Talk to me, Gracen," Marek says as he holds his weight off me.
I nibble on my lower lip a moment to collect my thoughts. "So we'll have a sexual relationship, be monogamous, and raise Lilly together?"
I don't know whether to like the fact or not that he actually winces over the way I put it, but that's exactly what it is.
He nods. "It's a start."
And yes, I suppose this could be the start of something new. We'll never have what we did before, because there are too many hurts that run way too deep. But what we have now is something I think I can handle.
I love him, after all.
Bringing my hands up to curl around his neck, I tell him, "I think I can get on board with that."
Marek's smile causes my heart to flat-out skip a few beats. You'd think he'd won the lottery or something, but I'm the one who feels like a winner as he settles his weight onto my body and kisses me deeply.
I moan as he possesses my mouth and his cock lengthens and hardens as it presses between my legs. Marek's head pops up, and his eyes are fevered as he looks at me for just a moment. My hips swivel, trying to create friction, and that seems to jar him. He attacks my mouth again, but rolls us both to our sides. His hands tear at my clothes while I go first for his belt and zipper. I have him in my hand just as his mouth closes over a nipple he'd managed to expose by jerking my top over my head. I squeeze him hard and then start to stroke him.
"Fuck," he mutters against my breast, and then he's cupping me between my legs. "Let's get the rest of these clothes off."
I giggle as I push him away from me. He rolls right off the bed and starts undressing faster than I've ever seen a person do. I barely get my shorts and panties off before he's back on top of me, mouth fused to mine.
His fingers press into me as I take his cock back in hand again, stroking it with long pulls that have him groaning from deep within his chest.
When Marek's thumb brushes against my clit, I thrash against the sensation, and the words come tumbling out of my mouth without any thought. "I need you, Marek. Need you to fuck me right now."
"Goddammit," Marek mutters as if he's lost total control, then he's flipping my body over.
My stomach hits the bed, only for him to jerk me up to my knees with his hands at my waist. I feel like a rag doll being roughly used, and I love it.
I cry out when I feel Marek's mouth on my pussy from behind me, slapping a hand over my lips just as he shoves his tongue inside of me. He groans again as if he's tasted nothing better, then he's gone for a moment, only to push the tip of his cock inside me.
Marek is big--thick, long, beautiful--and it's always been a little scary and thrilling all at once knowing that my body would have to stretch to accommodate him.
Knowing there'd be a little pinch of pain.
He presses a solid inch into me, muttering curses as he does so. I wiggle my ass, rotate my hips...anything to get him to come a little bit further inside.
"So fucking tight, Gracie," he grits out as he pushes inside another inch. "And wet. You're soaked, baby."
God, I missed his dirty talk. I've never had anyone affect me with words the way he does.
"You should see it," he murmurs as his hands come to my ass. His thumbs dig in, pull my cheeks apart slightly. I can imagine him staring down at us. "My cock sliding into you. You taking my cock. That pussy...my pussy...begging for me to fuck it hard, right, Gracie?"
"Jesus, yes," I growl at him as I try to push back against the invading force. As I try to force him in deeper.
"I love it when you think you're actually in control, Gracie," Marek teases me, sliding out the few inches he'd gained.
I grit my teeth to keep myself from cursing him, and dig my fingers into the comforter. Marek's hands stroke the skin on my ass cheeks oh so tenderly. Soothing me.
His cock slides in a little further this time before retreating slowly. I know he's doing this so my body adjusts without pain, but he also knows I don't mind the pain.
Sometimes I even like it quite a lot.
"Marek," I beg him quietly. "Please...just--"
He slams into me, punching his hips forward so hard I have to throw a hand out to the headboard so I don't go onto my face. His cock fills me up, demanding space my body didn't think it would have to yield, and yet sighs in complete happiness to give it up to him.
"Oh, Gracie," Marek moans as he holds still inside of me. "You feel so damn good."
I can feel his hands trembling as they grip my hips, and I know he's going to ride me hard and fast. My blood sings with anticipation as I wait for Marek to pull his thickness out of me, knowing how good it's going to feel when he plunges back in.
> But to my surprise, Marek leans his entire body against my back and forces me down to the mattress. I turn my head so my cheek is resting on the pillow.
Marek's mouth touches the corner of mine and he grinds deeper into me with a soft groan.
His mouth goes to my shoulder, which he kisses softly as he pulls his hips back only slightly. There's no pause, only a slow pushing of his cock into me. It's a slow, shallow stroke...meant to be felt in increments and savored fully.
"Going to fuck you slow, Gracie," he murmurs before another kiss to my shoulder. "Settle in, because we're taking our time tonight."
I let out a sigh of amazement. This is different. Marek was never one for slow and luxurious. Both of us were always racing to the end, knowing we could start all over again the quicker we finished. Marek was always able to get me off so quickly that I'd usually get in at least two orgasms before he'd release.
Now this is very interesting.
Different.
It feels like a more mature type of sex. His strokes inside of me are deep but purposeful, while his lips trail lightly over my skin.
Once again, I feel cherished.
Marek sets the slow pace and grinds into me from behind. His breathing picks up, as does mine, because every stroke brings both of us closer to the edge. At this angle, his dick bumps deliciously against something inside of me that makes my toes curl and my pulse speed up. I can feel my orgasm tightening, in the same slow increments by which he fucks me. His movements are like stroking a tiny ember into fire until my entire body hovers right at the precipice of something momentous.
"Marek," I murmur in frustration.
"Let go, Gracie. Just let go and fall with me."
His words. He does it again with words.
My body opens up and accepts what he's been building. I feel like I burst apart from the inside, and I have to turn my face into the pillow to muffle my cry of release.
"That's it," Marek praises me, presses into me ever so deeply. Then he goes still, his arms slipping under my stomach and wrapping around me tightly. His chin comes to my shoulder.
Marek's hips tilt, pushing me impossibly deeper into the mattress, and his entire body trembles against me. He groans as he starts to come, holding me so tight I can barely breathe.