Double Header (Hardball 2)

Javier wished he could make him believe, right now, that everything was going to be okay. That time was coming soon enough. He just had to be patient, and hope for the best. “You ready?”

Zach looked up from his laptop and rubbed his eyes. Two empty beer bottles sat beside him. He shook his head. “Nope. Not ready at all. Never will be. But let’s get it over with.”

Javier looked over his shoulder and scanned the document on the screen. The nondisclosure that Domenic had agreed to. He could go public about having dated a professional athlete, he could go as far as saying it was a baseball player. He couldn’t name Zach or any of the teams he’d played for, and he couldn’t write about what city they’d met in. Javier had seen Zach check the document at least once a day. “It’s real. And you’re not going to find any loopholes that your agent didn’t already think of.”

“Yeah. I’m just terrified that I’m about to watch my chaotic ex blab my name all over the place.” Zach wiped one hand down his face in the harsh bluish light of the screen. “I’m not even out to my mom. This would destroy her.”

“It’s not going to destroy her.” Javier had met Zach’s mom, as a “friend” back in their Portland days. Her love for her son was fierce and obvious at first sight. “Come on. Let’s go watch this thing.”

They left the study and went into the den, where the giant plasma television was already broadcasting the entertainment channel. Javier picked up the remote and changed the station.

“What are you doing?” Zach asked, his tone cautious and suspicious.

“We’re not going to watch that d-bag give an interview tonight. There’s bigger news on this channel.” He scrolled through the guide, ignoring the sick feeling in his gut that had been dogging him all day. Too late to change your mind now, anyway.

“If you’ve gotten early trade news and you’re breaking it to me via ESPN, I’m going to be pissed off enough to take a swing at you,” Zach warned.

The title sequence of the nightly sports news program was just wrapping as they tuned in. Javier put his arm around Zach and concentrated really hard on not hyperventilating or puking as the host adopted an unnecessarily serious tone to make his announcement.

“Breaking news tonight out of professional baseball. Javier Vargas, catcher for the Grand Rapids Bengals, has announced that he’s gay. You heard that right, Javier Vargas is the second professional baseball player to publicly come out during his career. Vargas issued a statement to us in an exclusive, saying, ‘I am a gay man, and I am a baseball player. I hope that by coming out I can inspire both my fellow players and fans of the game to live their lives authentically and proudly.’”

Zach was utterly motionless beside Javier.

The reporter gestured off-camera, saying, “Vargas declined an on-air interview with us at this time, so we’re going to go to our panel to discuss the implications of this historic announcement.”

Zach grabbed the remote and clicked the television off. “What the hell? You didn’t want to tell me about this beforehand? Maybe give me a heads up?”

“No,” Javier said, leaning back in the corner of the sofa as Zach shot to his feet to pace the den. “You would have told me not to, and it wasn’t your call.”

“No, it’s not my call, but you could have told me.” Zach shook his head. “Do you have any idea what those guys are going to be talking about on there for the next twenty minutes?”

Javier shrugged, one hand coming up from the back of the couch in an open, “so what?” gesture. “Yeah, they’re going to be talking about me. They’re going to be talking about how the other guys feel about being in the clubhouse with a gay guy checking them out. They’re going to be talking about how there’s a reason pro athletes stay in the closet, and whether or not it’s in the best interest of the fans to just keep that to ourselves. They’re going to predict doom and lower turn out for the Bengals, and they’re going to wonder if we’re going to change our colors to a rainbow. And they’re going to do all of that for an audience who backs their ignorance up one-hundred percent. But they’re going to be doing it because of me. They’re not going to be speculating about you.”

Zach stopped pacing, but he wouldn’t face him. “You timed your announcement to come before Domenic could make his.”

“Yup.” Javier couldn’t help but feel a little proud of himself for what was probably the only Machiavellian move he was going to be able to make in his lifetime. “It won’t be big news to anyone that there’s a gay guy playing baseball. And no one will suspect you, because they’ll be too busy thinking it’s me.”