There Is No Light In Darkness (Darkness 1)

“Cole, I found something out about my nightmares…and my past…and everything,” I say rushed as I shuffle from one foot to the other.

He frowns narrowing his eyes and grabs my arms to pull me to the bed. He sits me between his legs and kisses my head.

“What’d you find, baby?” he asks softly.

I take a deep breath and look him straight in the eyes. There’s no point in me blinking back my impending tears at this point. I weep for family, friends, love, and the existence of bastards who punish children for their parents’ sins.

“Cole,” I say before taking a deep breath. “Remember how I told you about that little boy? Nathan?” I ask brokenly as he wipes my tears from my face.

He furrows his eyebrows and nods. “Yeah...”

I let out a strangled sob before standing and walking to my purse. I take a deep breath as I unzip it and take out the tattered Rainbow Brite doll. I see recognition flash across his eyes as he stares back at me completely dumbfounded with his mouth hanging open.

“What the fuck?” he says horrified. His voice barely a whisper.

I fall to my knees and weep loudly with my face in my hands. I hear the bed creak when he gets up and walks over to me. He gets down on his knees in front of me and holds me. He grabs my tear-stricken face between his hands and examines me like he’s looking at me for the first time. I look at him the same way. Then, after a minute, our bodies crash together again. I feel his body quaking beneath me as his own grief trembles through. We hold each other for minutes, hours, days. When we finally calm down, we sit next to each other.

“So…you’re...oh God. I’m...” he says, breathing heavily and wiping tears from his own face. “Your nightmares?”

I nod. “They’re about that night. Do you remember now?”

“No. I remember it was awful, but I don’t remember it. I do remember you though,” he says, caressing my face with the back of his hand. “My princess.”

I smile through my tears. “Your princess?”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “I always thought you were a princess, but I never wanted to tell you that. I wanted you to act like a G.I. Joe with me.”

“I know,” I whisper, nodding my head. “I remember.”

“How’d you get this?” he asks, lifting up the doll.

“I went to your parents’ house.”

His mouth pops open. “How? Did you know who they were?”

“No,” I shake my head. “I think I had some suspicions for a while. Well, sort of...you know my friend, Aimee?” I wait until he nods, but he looks horrified. “She does these things that remind me of you sometimes, but I just figured it was a coincidence. Anyway, she’s...your sister.”

He gasps as if I’ve punched him in the stomach. “What?”

“I know. It’s a lot to take in. Trust me, when I was at her house today, I thought I would leave in a gurney.”

“Does she know?” he asks, still horrified.

“No,” I shake my head rapidly. “I didn’t want to tell her. I wanted to tell you first. I don’t even know how I would tell her.”

He raises his eyebrows and nods. “So my parents think I’m missing?”

“They think you’re dead,” I whisper.

“Oh, God,” he says hoarsely as tears stream down his face. I hold his face to my chest and stroke his hair as he weeps quietly, the same way he’s comforted me so often in the past.

We spend the rest of the night talking about what we remember and looking through my pictures.

“Do you think that’s the same place you took me to that time?” I ask him as we look at a picture of us in the farm.

He looks at me as he contemplates the possibility. “It might be. It’s completely destroyed now, so we would have never linked the two together. Let’s go tomorrow.”

“Okay, if you’re up for it.”

“I just don’t understand why they would put it under my name. And if my parents are alive...I don’t know. This is so confusing.” he says shaking his head slowly.

“I know,” I reply idly twirling a strand of hair around my finger. “Do you want to meet Aimee?”

He lets out a breath and shrugs. “I guess.”

“I can talk to her about it and explained what I remember. I know it’s going to be hard for her to believe, but she’s great and I know you’ll love her.”

“I just don’t understand how I don’t remember. I remember going to the farm. I remember wanting to play with you. I remember that stupid doll you used to bring along with you all the time. how can I not remember my own family?” he says in a wavering voice.

I give him a sad smile and hold him tighter, thankful that as crazy as this is, we have each other to lean on.