My stomach rumbles at the mention of food, making Cole shake his head and set me on my feet. I take out a notepad as we eat to go over the guest list again, just to make sure we didn't miss anybody, not that we're having the wedding of the century or anything. We've decided to keep it small and intimate, only inviting people that we truly want to share that day with.
"Have you thought more about inviting Colleen?" I ask after taking a sip of water.
Cole wipes his mouth and exhales a breath. "I've thought about it, but I really don't know. On one hand I think why not, and on the other, I don't know if I want her there. What if she tries to bring him?" he asks in reference to Camden, making my heart sink for him.
"She won't, but if you want her there, I think she should be there," I respond quietly. "As sick as it is, Camden didn't think he was doing anything wrong, Cole. I mean...he made sure that you were okay and had money. I know it doesn't make what he did right and I hate him for it, but I think he thought it was the only way."
"Yeah, that's what makes it worse," Cole scoffs. "Whatever. I don't need him. Just invite Colleen, I guess."
I place my hand on his, offering him a small smile. "Okay. Let me get your invitation," I whisper, hopping off the stool and placing a kiss on his cheek before walking to our room and into my closet. I kneel down and get my all-things-wedding box out from the corner, opening the lid and sorting through things I've collected in the past week. I smile brightly when I find the box with invitations and open it, taking out the one I custom-made especially for him and putting the rest away, before deciding I should show him how the rest of them look as well.
When I go back to the kitchen, I find him typing furiously into his phone and the table is cleared of everything except the notepad. Standing on the balls of my feet, I place a kiss on the back of his neck that makes him shiver and put his phone down. He pivots the stool to face me and bites down on his lip, looking at me with mischievous eyes as he grabs my hips and pulls me between his legs.
"Nope. None of that right now," I warn, putting his invitation between our faces.
"Finally!" he groans. "I've never heard of a groom getting invited to his own damn wedding!"
I laugh and swat his hands when he tries to reach for me again as I back away and wait for him to open the envelope. He opens it carefully, and I watch as his mouth pops open when he takes out the folded ivory card stock with a half-moon on it. He looks at me and smiles before continuing to open it by pulling the moon up and unfolding it flat. My eyes are on his as they scan it and his smile broadens when he gets to the bottom. He shakes his head, placing it beside him and looking at me in awe.
"Come here," he says gruffly.
I walk over to him, letting him pull me into his arms and hold me in silence as he places occasional kisses on my forehead as his chest rises and lowers against me.
"I've been waiting my entire life to make you my wife," he whispers against me. "I wouldn't miss it for the world...besides, you haven't given me many options," he adds with a laugh, making me laugh along.
"Do you like where we're getting married?" I ask equally as quiet.
He backs away to look at me with a huge grin on his face, his eyes glowing. "I couldn't have picked a more perfect place."
I smile and run my hands over his invitation, flattening it to look at it again.
"I figured I should reply to all of those notes you've written me," I say with a smile as I look at it.
"I think I'll live with you not writing back. I don't think you can top this one anyway," he replies as he stands and scoops me into his arms and begins to walk to our room.
"I haven't shown you the real invitations yet!" I squeal.
"You can show me later, we have unfinished business to take care of." He dips me, biting my neck and making me yelp.
Walking hand in hand with Cole, enjoying a gorgeous Chicago day as we head to a high-end jewelry store on Michigan Avenue, I feel like my life can't get any better. I think we're both slowly getting to a good place in our lives as individuals and growing stronger as a couple. I lean into his arm and swing my free hand into somebody, straightening my body to apologize. My heart drops when I see Liam looking back at me, apologizing at the same time. We both freeze in place, getting pushed by all sides because of our sudden stops. I'm thankful that Cole's arms hold me from being flung with the traffic of bustle of people around us.
"Hey." He looks at me with serious chocolate eyes.
"Hey," I respond quietly.
"Let's go, babe," Cole urges, pulling my hand.
"I've tried calling you," Liam says, ignoring him. "I would really love to talk to you. I know you don't want anything to do with me, with any of us, but just one chance to explain—that's all I want."
I swallow the knot in my throat as I look into his solemn eyes. "Is it true? About Alex being my dad?"
Liam exhales sharply and Cole pulls on my hand again. "Yes, but to me, you were mine, Blake. I was the one who was there for your mom through her pregnancy, in the hospital. I was the one changing your diapers, cleaning your cuts and kissing your bruises."
"You were also the one who willingly gave her up!" Cole bites, standing in front of me to block me from Liam's view.
"For her safety! She was living with her grandmother! An amazing woman, I might add! I fucked up not being able to find her after that, I know I did! I've been paying for that for twenty-five years, dammit!" Liam shouts.
"So have I," I whisper, mostly to myself.
"So has she!" Cole yells back at the same time. "We both have. But you were an adult! You and Camden were adults! We were FOUR!"
I move off to the side closer to the building, yanking on Cole's arm so he can move with me, and Liam follows.
"I can't speak for Camden, his decisions are his. But I'm sorry, I really am. Like you said, you were four. And you were being taken care of by lovely people. I was an adult, I had to...have to live with my decisions every day knowing that I could've done things differently. Knowing I was dealing with a...look what's done is done. I know I can't change that. I know you may never forgive me, but know that I am truly sorry. Truly," he says, looking directly into my eyes so I can feel the weight of his apology.
"Okay," I reply, cutting Cole off before he starts again. "I think I'm finally at a place in my life that I can take your apology and maybe even Alex's and move on."
"Maybe one day we can get together," Liam suggests, making Cole mutter curses under his breath.
I look at him one last time—his smooth skin, brown eyes, dark hair, the lines around his mouth—and steady myself when a gust of wind flows through us, allowing me to smell him...rain. I look down at myself, my still flat but promising stomach and smile sadly. "Maybe one day," I whisper before pulling Cole out of there and continuing our walk into the stores.
"I'm proud of you," Cole says, placing a kiss on my palm.
I respond with a smile and let him lead me into the jewelry store.
I wipe my hands on the ivory gown I'm wearing for the fourth time this morning and take a couple of shaky breaths. Never in a million years would I have thought I would be nervous today. I keep reminding my
self that it's just us, and I'm marrying the only man I was meant to be with, but it's not enough. My stomach is still turning, and all I can do is take deep breaths to keep me from wanting to run to the bathroom and vomit. Becky comes up behind me in her navy bridesmaid dress with an ivory sash and smiles brightly. Her red hair is picked up into a sophisticated up-do. She stands closely behind me, pushing her enormous belly into my back, while she massages my scalp. My eyes close and and my lips part at the feel.
"Sit," she orders, pushing my head down so that I sit on the chair in front of the mirror. "You look stunning. Calm down. Deep breaths. This is your day!" she says with a smile as she fixes my loose curls to cascade down my back.
"I know! I don't know why I'm so nervous!" I reply, exhaling.
"Well...have you given him his present?" she asks with a raised eyebrow.
I shake my head and sigh, feeling my stomach somersault at the thought. I'd planned on giving it to him before the reception, then after the reception, then I thought I'd just send the box over with Greg and let him record Cole's reaction but I don't want to miss it, so I settled on after. Now I'm wondering if I should just send it over after all. I groan at my own indecisiveness, making Becky giggle.
"Stop worrying! And don't move, I'm going to put this clip on your head now," she says sternly, putting a bobby pin in her mouth to open it with her teeth before putting it in my hair. She repeats the process a couple of times until the front part of my hair is held away from my face. She tightens it, making me flinch and takes out a silver comb I haven't seen before. I turn around, crinkling my eyebrows at it, and give her a questioning look.
"It's your something borrowed," she explains with a shrug.
"Who did you borrow it from?" I ask cautiously. I know it's not hers because she and Greg eloped in Vegas when we were in college and she didn't wear a veil.
"It was in your family box, silly!" she says with an eye roll. "You never sorted through the entire thing, did you?"