“You’re also not saying it won’t.” He raised an eyebrow. He leaned back in his chair and picked up his glass again. “What does Maman say?”
“Maman knows nothing.” My breath caught at the mere thought of my mother’s disappointment. She’d given up everything in Spain to marry my father out of obligation. If she caught wind that her own son couldn’t do the same, she’d have a lot to say and none of it would be good.
“So, where are you going with this?” Aramis asked after a moment. “Are you going to take a mistress? Is that what it’ll come down to?”
“She won’t accept that.”
His eyes widened. “You asked her?”
“I had to know.”
“You’re a real asshole.” He shook his head. “I wouldn’t even ask that of someone.”
“I know.”
“And you love this woman?” He frowned. “I couldn’t imagine asking a woman I love to be my side piece.”
“You would if you had no other choice.” My voice was a roar in the otherwise silent room.
“I’m just making a statement.” He put his free hand up and took another sip of his scotch. The single ice in mine had all but disappeared into the amber liquid in my glass. I had barely touched it.
“Do you think I would ask that of her if I thought I could fix this?” I asked after a moment. “I don’t want to lose her.”
“Eli,” he said, and it was the seriousness in his tone that made me meet his gaze again. “You already lost her.”
“How could you possibly know that?”
“Your ascension already happened. Your coronation is currently underway. After that, it’s done. You might as well forget about her.”
I already knew that, of course, but his words still brought a sting with them. I picked up the scotch I’d been ignoring and drained the glass. What good was savoring something exquisite if you had no shot at keeping it?
Chapter 26
Adeline
“I told you that you’d be seeing him everywhere,” Joslyn said.
I set the tabloid down and glanced at her. She was giving me a look I hoped to avoid—full of compassion, kindness, and a little bit of I told you so. She had told me so and the reality was far worse than I’d anticipated. Seeing Elias with another woman was the most painful thing I’d had to endure. Forget being the subject of a sex scandal and having my video leaked everywhere. Forget my father’s dismissal of his disgraced daughter over it. This was, hands down, the most heart-wrenching thing. I guess you could say that the moment I realized that I was in love with Elias was the moment I saw him with another woman. Then suddenly everything became crystal clear. I wanted him to not go through with the coronation. I wanted him to say fuck tradition and run away with me instead. I wanted him to give up decades of history because he wanted me more than he wanted to rule. I focused on the items on the conveyer belt in front of me and paid the grocery bill when they were finished bagging them.
“At least you can move on now.” Joss grabbed the handle of the grocery cart and started pushing it outside.
“I know you mean well, but I need you to shut the fuck up,” I said as I put my wallet and receipt away, walking beside her. “I can’t just move on. That’s not how it works. I need to be mentally prepared for it and I’m not. I want him. End of story.”
“I wish you didn’t.”
“You think I don’t?”
“I think you’re still waiting for a miracle to happen.”
“Maybe I am.” I shrugged a shoulder. “Just because he’s out with Emily doesn’t mean . . . ” I stopped mid-sentence and frowned.
Was I really saying this? Did I really believe it? Joss waited as I struggled to finish my sentence, my thoughts. I pushed the button to open the trunk of the car and started loading the grocery bags. Joss took the cart and walked back as I was closing the trunk. When we both climbed into the car and snapped our seatbelts on, she turned to me.
“You know as well as anyone that once they choose to make something like this public, it’s over,” she said. “I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is.”
“I know. I just . . . ” I closed my eyes as I shook my head. “I hate all of this.”
“Hey, you fell for him.” She set her hand over mine. “It’s totally understandable.”
“I wish I could take it all back.” I opened my eyes and looked at her.
“In time, you will.” She smiled sadly as she pulled her hand back. “I feel bad leaving you for them. Especially now.”
“Don’t feel bad. We talked about this. It’s a cool opportunity for you. Personal Secretary to the Princess of France. Who else can say that?” I smiled. “You’ll have the cutest stationery.”