“Looks great. Post it.”
“What about copy?”
“Susanne didn’t send any?”
I shake my head. “Nope.”
She sighs. “God. You write something. I just can’t find the words to say how much I love this awful shade.” She pulls a tissue from the box sitting on the counter and wipes furiously at her lips.
“I’ll come up with something.” It won’t be the first time I’ve had to get creative.
Absolutely in love with @susannecosmetics new Burgundy Orchid lip plumper! Grab yours before they sell out! #sponsored #bigkisses #kissme #lipgloss #lips #kiss
Not my best, but it’ll do the job. I post the photo.
So luscious! Ordering mine now, @realaddisonames.
Gorgeous!
What a great color on you!
Their lip plumper is the best. Love this new shade!
I hold back an eye roll as I scan for anything negative. I delete a few questionable comments.
Then I look back at Braden’s request to follow me.
What the heck? He won’t find much on my Instagram.
I quickly hit Confirm.
Maybe he’ll see I’m living my best life without him. Although my last two pics were of the interesting way a shadow played across a city sidewalk and a lonely fire hydrant in the heat.
I need to up my Insta game.
Chapter Thirteen
Two vibrators, a dildo, and a set of Ben Wa balls sit on my bed—all products of my earlier attempts to achieve the elusive orgasm.
I dug them out of my drawer when I got home from work. Am I going to take Tessa’s advice and try to re-create what Braden did to me?
Apparently I am.
I laugh aloud. I didn’t achieve anything previously when I used these toys. What makes me think I can now?
Because now you know what you’re after.
Maybe. Now that I’ve experienced a real climax and am familiar with the magnificence of it, I may be able to do it again.
I reached both orgasms while Braden was penetrating me, but that alone hadn’t gotten me off. It was the clitoral stimulation paired with Braden’s delicious cock. I eye the blue dildo. Yeah, it’s pretty big, but not quite as big as Braden.
Next to the dildo sits a pink vibrator with a built-in clitoral stimulator. Problem is the dildo part of the vibrator isn’t even close to Braden’s size.
The other vibrator, in clear, is just a dildo with batteries, no clit stimulator.
Then the Ben Wa balls. They look like large silver marbles, and honestly, I’m not sure what they’re supposed to do. I know they go in the vagina, but that’s about it. I could call Tessa and ask…but no. Just no.
I toss the balls and the clear vibrator back in the drawer. My best chances are the plain dildo and the hot-pink vibrator with clit action.
I’ve done this before, and I always felt really weird. At least now I know what I’m supposed to be feeling.
I undress quickly and slide beneath my covers with the dildo and vibrator. I decide to go with the vibrator first, since it has the clitoral stimulator.
Problem number one—I’m not even slightly wet.
No hot kisses and finger fucking to get me in the mood. Even a little sexual banter over dinner would help. I was wet just sitting next to Braden in his car.
I need something to turn me on. Pay-per-view porn? It’s worth a shot. I grab the remote from the nightstand and flip on the television, quickly finding a porn network. $15.99? To watch people fuck? I’m desperate, so I click Rent Now.
Problem number two—porn has never done much for me.
Still, I watch the fake boobs and monster dicks and try like hell to feel enough to get myself ready so the vibrator won’t hurt going in.
Finally, I’m able to ease the vibrator into my pussy. I flip the switch at the end and…
Nothing.
Not that I expect it to be instantaneous, but at the moment I just feel tight and full.
I gaze at the TV, flicking my other hand over one breast and giving the nipple a pinch. I feel a little, but not enough to get going.
Maybe the porn isn’t a good idea. Maybe I need to close my eyes and remember my time with Braden.
Except that will make me sad.
I try anyway. I turn off the TV and the light, close my eyes, and cup my breasts, letting my fingers wander and tease my nipples. They harden under my touch. Nice. Finally, my pussy starts to respond. Just a tiny tickle, not the gushing madness that Braden caused, but I’ll take what I can get.
Slowly I move the vibrating dildo in and out of my pussy. When that doesn’t get me going, I hold it inside me, letting the little flagella on the clit stimulator do their job. All the while, I’m thinking of Braden’s firm lips on mine, his long, thick fingers inside me.
I imagine him flipping me over and thrusting into me.
I turn onto my hands and knees and work my pussy and clit with the vibrator.