Am I fucking up by having her here? No. She won’t be a distraction. She’s a fucking genius.
I replayed those last lyrics in my head.
“Break me. Hurt me. Fuck me. I would lie for you, homicide for you.”
She was so fucking ride or die. So hard. So willing. So ready to do anything for her man and let him do anything to her. The very idea made me want to get on my knees, spread her thighs, and lick her until she lost her voice.
She’s coming tonight. Not next week or next month, but tonight.
I thought about what it would be like to spend time with her. If she were mine, I would want to spend all day in bed, cuddled up naked and keeping her warm. I would want to make love to her over and over, only letting her out of bed to grab her guitar. Naked, of course. I’d want to taste every inch, every curve, eating her pussy, swirling wet circles around her throbbing bud.
“Break me. Hurt me.”
We’d have to change that part of the song. I couldn’t even think of hurting her, metaphorically or not. I just wanted to bring her passion and pleasure. I wanted to hear her moan, taste her sweetness on my tongue.
I rubbed my fingers up the length of my cock. Pre-cum crowned at the top.
Fuck, man. You’re losing it. It was a song, not an invitation to fuck her. She was singing a damn song.
Frowning, I let go of my cock and stared at him. “Come on. We’re better than this. We can maintain control.”
I had no idea if she was even attracted to me. Sure, she probably would love the idea of fucking Gio, the superstar, but that wasn’t what I wanted. If she was like that, then I wouldn’t even want a sample.
Why am I even thinking like this? Keep it professional, man.
I zipped up my pants, pissed at myself.
In this industry, men liked to use their titles and fame to get women to do anything. Some producers thought it was a little game, having women lick another female’s pussy in the studio just to sing the hook on their song. One guy made a chick his sex slave for a month and still didn’t give her a feature on his album. Once I heard about shit like that, I never worked with those men again and tried to pull some contacts to get the women jobs. I’d prided myself on not allowing that sort of bullshit around me, but I wondered if I could’ve done more.
There will always be dogs, wolves, sheep, and lambs. Now, it’s time to stand for something. I’ve let enough time go by.
Jason knew if he took advantage of any female I would’ve broken his legs. Later, my mother would’ve flown her private jet down to stick her foot in his ass. Not that Jason ever considered devious shit like that. While he fucked with drugs, he didn’t embrace the rapey-sex-addiction-sludge that other men in the industry wore like crowns. When it came to the music side of Jason’s and my life, women were our equals, not objects to use and abuse.
But now I’m being rapey, right? Grabbing my dick like a pervert every time she sings. What the fuck is wrong with me?
I wanted to fight the thoughts in my head. In my defense, her damn voice triggered an erection. I bet her voice would incite most men to get hard. Instantly, I hated the idea of anyone hearing her voice and becoming aroused.
Get over it. I can’t keep that voice away from the world. She’s going to be a star, regardless.
Listening to her made me think differently about life in general. While I’d sought her out for myself, I was starting to wonder if maybe I was put on this earth for her. Maybe all the things that I had accomplished, all the fame I’d earned, had been just to attract her attention. Perhaps, she was the true star and would be a bigger legend than I was. Perhaps, I was just put here to lay bricks out for her path.
I could teach her so many things. I could show her the right way to navigate through this industry. And damn...we would make some amazing music.
I zipped up my pants, knowing that I had to give up on any idea of sex with her. There was something bigger going on around us. For the first time in a long time, I was excited to sing.
Exhilaration…music…lyrics.
They ran through my head constantly.
For the first time, since Jason’s death, my passion returned.
I’m working with her. This is bigger than sex or anything else.
I buzzed my house manager and let him know that we would have two guests coming. I wasn’t a fan of her manager tagging along, but maybe Ru would keep me in check. It was clear I didn’t have control of myself when she sang.