“Let’s go home, Cairstina. It’s time for us to go home.”
We drive home, my two hands in his as he drives the winding, icy road back to the Highlands. There are so many things on my mind, and no doubt as many on his. Are his sisters safe? Will his father recover from his fall? Is Dougal gone forever, and is Father MacGowen safe? And what will the goddamn Aitkens pull next? But as snow falls gently around us, the inside cab is warm and cozy. Whatever happens, we’ll handle it. Not me. Not him. But all of us, together.
And for the first time in so long, I actually allow myself to imagine a different reality, deeply entwined with the one that we have. A reality in which his sisters become mine, his mum mine as well. Where I have a place in the family, a family that cares for me, a home that I’m happy to return to. That for once in my life, my handicaps don’t hinder me, but are simply a part of who I am. Welcomed. Loved.
Night’s fallen over the lodge when we return. My stomach growls in hunger, and I realize I haven’t eaten since breakfast. It seems so long ago now, a different lifetime even. The house looms ahead of us, golden light filtering from the windows onto the snowy ground around us. Smoke rises into the evening sky, shimmering against the moon, and I note Lachlan’s back with the others.
Nerves flutter in my belly when I realize I need to face his parents again. But I’ll have Leith with me this time. I’m not alone.
Leith reaches over and scratches Bailey’s ears. “Good boy,” he says warmly. “Let’s get you in to see if a staff has a bone for you, eh?”
I pat Bailey’s head. He was a good and loyal friend today. He laps my hand and I kiss the top of his head. I turn to Leith, not trusting my voice, so I grab my phone on the dash.
Can he come and stay with us?
I’m presuming, I know. Presuming that I’ll be with Leith, that the two of us will be together in his home. He smiles and nods. “Of course, my bonnie lass,” he says. He kisses my cheek and tweaks a stray strand of hair. “Cairstina, I’ll give you anything you bloody want.”
I wiggle my eyebrows at him, and he breaks out into a massive grin. “Something tells me I may regret that,” he mutters.
I tuck my head and giggle, the tiniest sound escaping. I close my eyes and give thanks that I’m learning how to do this again. That I’ve overcome what I thought I never would. That I’m learning to be whole.
We go up the big steps that lead to the lodge hand in hand.
“Now, lass, don’t be nervous,” he says. “You left under bad conditions, and I understand. But you need to know that I’m behind you, that I support you in this. Mum doesn’t blame you at all, she told me herself.” His voice deepens. “And my father’s lucky he didn’t put his hands on you in front of me.”
Still, my stomach’s in knots when we open the door and enter the house. His mum’s waiting for us in the entryway, wringing her hands.
“Oh, Leith,” she says, running to him. “Cairstina!” She throws her arms around both of us in an awkward hug, one of us on either side.
Leith gives her a quick hug, then stands back. “How is he?”
“He’s fine,” she says firmly, her eyes shining. “He never should’ve touched her and I feel terrible for my part in this, but the lass was only trying to look out for me.”
Leith puts a protective arm about my shoulders, holding me to his side.
“Where is he?”
My heart thumps in my chest at the look on his face. I would never want to be the one he was after when he looks like that.
“He’s up in bed,” Flora says gently. “The doctor says he’ll be alright, but he needs his rest. We’ve taken him to hospital, but he’s home now, and here he’ll stay.”
I hear the pain in both their voices, as if this night is a culmination of decades. And perhaps it is.
I reach for Flora, touching her arm. She looks to me, her pretty eyes just like her daughters’. “You aren’t to blame, Cairstina. My God, am I happy you came back.” She hugs me, and I close my eyes as she holds me. She doesn’t blame me for what happened. I’m happy to be back, too.
“We’ll go to him,” Leith says. “The two of us.”
Flora lets me go and looks pleadingly at Leith. “Och, Leith. Not now, son. Let him rest, and let’s get you fed, eh? The rest are in the dining room, eating dinner. You two must be starving.”