“Babe, you aren’t gonna know if that’s true shoppin’ in Fashion Square,” Minnie replied. “Ain’t no cool clothes here. Except maybe at Lucky.”
It was then the day took a drastic turn and this turn was perpetrated by Lorie.
And she did this by leaning in excitedly and suggesting, “Let’s eat and really take Clary shopping.”
“Oh yeah,” Pinky agreed, leaning in too, her eyes bright.
I felt a thrill race up my spine and I wasn’t sure it was a good one.
“Oh fuck,” Driver muttered, and I turned to him.
This was not one of his favorite chores and I had the distinct feeling it was going to get worse for him and for me.
“We’ll kit you out, Clary,” Lorie said, grabbing my hand and giving it a squeeze. “You’ll be cool like that,” she continued, letting me go and snapping her fingers, nearly bouncing in the booth with excitement.
Oh dear.
“I’m not cool,” I told her. “I tried. Trust me. The results were disastrous.”
And this was true.
My junior year in high school, I tried to be cool and the results were disastrous. In fact, it was a lucky thing social media was not big then or those results would probably still be available to the population at large, it was so disastrous.
Lorie just smiled big and announced to the table, “We are so totally Professor Higgins to Clary’s Eliza Whatever.”
“This is gonna be the bomb.” Pinky was smiling big too.
Oh.
Dear.
“Um…I’m not sure—” I started.
“Babe, get sure,” Minnie ordered. “You don’t have to be what you are. You can be anything you fuckin’ wanna be.”
Hmm.
This was a point to ponder.
But, perhaps, later.
A lot later.
“I might look ridiculous,” I whispered.
“You’ll only look ridiculous if you feel ridiculous,” Minnie stated. “You feel hot, you’ll be hot, and trust me, babe, we’ll make you hot.”
Oh God.
“I’ve never been hot,” I told her.
Minnie stared at me.
Pinky stared at me.
And I felt Lorie and Driver staring at me.
Then Lorie burst out laughing, Pinky joined in, and even Minnie smiled.
Through it, Minnie declared, “I’m all over this Professor Higgins shit.”
Oh no.
“Me too,” Pinky threw in.
“Totally,” Lorie added.
“Fuckin’ A,” Driver muttered.
Oh dear.
10
As Good as I Could Get
My new posse and I barreled into Ace in the Hole Home Improvement laden with bags.
Not all of them were mine, but the vast majority where.
I had enough biker babe apparel to kit out the old ladies of three MCs.
I also had a new cell phone. We bought this after Yard House and before my biker babe mentors took me on a tour of Phoenix’s biker babe shops.
Not surprisingly, the cell phone people weren’t big fans of contracting with me due to my seriously sketchy credit history.
That was, they weren’t big fans of it until Minnie got in their faces.
There was the possibility that they broke every rule in their policy book by allowing me to sign the contract, but they did it in order to shut Minnie up.
This was because Minnie was not only being loud, but also using a fair amount of foul language.
Some customers just stared.
Most of them left.
I got my phone and contract.
We were at Ace because that was the plan. Shopping and then they were going to drop me off at Ace. Buck was going to drive us home.
His kids were due between five and six, depending, Buck said, on how fast and loose Gear played the speed limit.
He told me we should plan on them being home at five.
I guessed this meant Gear normally played the speed limit very fast and loose, and this wasn’t surprising, considering the loins from whence he came.
Not that Buck drove like a maniac (at least not with me in the car).
But he didn’t dillydally.
I surveyed the cavernous space that was Ace as we walked in, Minnie, Lorie and Driver hanging close to me. Pinky forged ahead and threw her arms around a tall man with a full beard that needed a trim, starting this habitual grooming about two years ago. He had long brown hair that he’d bunched up at the back of his head in a messy man-bun that by no means took him twenty minutes to fashion. He also had a hint of a beer gut.
He wrapped his arms around Pinky and bent her backwards, laying a big, wet one on her for all to see.
This was when I stopped watching Pinky and who I assumed was Cruise and started to look at the store.
It was spacious with very tall ceilings and lots of rows displaying lots of stuff. It smelled like a woodworking shop and fresh paint.
Metallica was playing over the sound system.
No Muzak, not at Ace.
Metal.
I wasn’t surprised, and as with pretty much everything I’d experienced that was the Aces High MC, it was cool.
We stopped close to Pinky and Cruise and I realized, after the mall drama, I’d had a good day.