I also decided I liked this idea.
Both kids took off to their rooms when we got back, and not long after, we heard metal music drifting down from upstairs.
Buck opened a beer, and without asking me, made me another margarita.
He then guided me out onto the deck instead of to the TV.
I found this an interesting choice and I liked it.
August was quickly heading into September, but the weather was still warm and mild, and any deck should be utilized to its fullest when the opportunities arose.
Still, this caused me concern as Buck had never done it before.
We sat in our chairs of the morning. I put my feet up to the lower railing and sipped my margarita. Buck shoved his legs under mine and stretched them out on my rung at the railing so my legs were draped over his.
Then he spoke, and I would come to understand why we were outside.
“Did a recon of the bathroom, Toots,” he stated, then sipped his beer.
I thought this was an interesting opener but had no clue why he was imparting this information on me, though I was hoping he wasn’t going to take issue with me commandeering so much of his vanity space for my girlie stuff.
Therefore, I replied with a noncommittal, “Yes?”
“Babe, you aren’t on birth control.”
My body went rock solid.
Oh God.
This was true.
I wasn’t.
I wasn’t on birth control.
And a week before, we’d had sex six times.
Six.
All unprotected.
He hadn’t even pulled out.
So much had happened, it hadn’t even occurred to me.
And during the act(s), so much was happening, good and bad, it didn’t occur to me.
Oh.
God.
I tried to calculate my period mentally and couldn’t. I’d lost track. Life was too insane. I used to mark it in my day planner religiously. I even had specific little stickers (tiny little presents) I could stick in on the day it began…and the happy day it ended.
But I no longer had a day planner. I didn’t even have an alarm clock (Buck did, but it was flashing twelve and I couldn’t figure out how to set it, so to stop it from flashing, something that was annoying, I’d just unplugged it).
It was a wonder I knew what day it was!
Oh God!
“Toots,” he called.
“Give me a minute, I’m trying not to hyperventilate,” I whispered, and he chuckled.
Chuckled!
I came unlocked and woodenly turned my head to look at him.
“This isn’t funny, West,” I informed him of the obvious.
“Babe,” was his reply.
I shot bolt upright in the chair, my legs jostling his, and Buck’s arm swung around my shoulders and curled me into him so our faces were close.
“Calm down, Clara, it’s cool.”
I knew a lot of things it was, but the one thing I knew it was not was cool.
Therefore, I cried, “It isn’t!”
“I’ll take you to Lefty, get you some pills,” he offered.
I closed my eyes.
God, humiliating.
I couldn’t even afford birth control.
“Clara, honey, look at me.”
I opened my eyes. “What if I’m pregnant?”
“Gotta say, Kristy and I tried for about a week before she got knocked up both times.”
Oh no.
Of course.
Of course!
Of course he had superior, take-no-prisoners swimmers.
God!
I felt my eyes get wide and my heart start to pound.
Buck grinned. “We only had one night so maybe you’re golden.”
“How far is the drop off the deck and what do you think my chances will be that it will kill me, straight out, rather than put me in a coma after which I’ll wake up and have to endure a year of painful physical therapy before I can move a thumb?”
Buck’s grin became a smile and then he pulled me closer.
“If you’re knocked up, we’ll deal. Until we know, we’ll use other precautions. You’re not, Lefty’ll get you on the pill. Is that a plan?”
Yes, it was a plan.
Of course, it was a plan.
I stared at him.
How could he be so calm about this?
“How can you be so calm about this?”
“Because we don’t know if there’s anything to get wound up about. Until we do, there’s no point getting wound up.”
Was he serious?
We weren’t talking about an error in calculating the balance of a checkbook for an account that started with a balance that was healthy so it could take the hit of not carrying a one or even a five.
We were talking about possible pregnancy.
This occurring between two people who, sure, were living together.
But we barely knew each other.
Heavens, we’d only had one night of intimacy!
So we actually barely even knew each other biblically.
“Are you serious?” I demanded.
He ignored my question and stated, “In the meantime, we just gotta play it smart.”
Oh God.
I closed my eyes again and this was a mistake. I knew it when I felt his bristly lips on mine.
I opened them to see his eyes were very close.
“Sucks, babe, love the feel of you. Don’t want anything between you and me. We gotta get you on the pill.”