What I didn’t know was how I felt about losing my freewill if I officially became Buck’s.
This was what was on my mind as I searched through the shop, then the warehouse, and finally headed to the Dive.
It wasn’t unusual for Buck to disappear and not tell me where he was going. But his SUV was out in the lot, he had to be somewhere.
The common area of the Dive was deserted, but I heard noises coming through the door that led to the hall where the bedrooms were.
I headed that way.
My mind was still whirling with my Biker Babe Lesson, I didn’t even think as I moved.
I should have thought, and I should have processed the sounds I was hearing and stayed far, far away.
The minute I turned the final corner and hit the hall, I stopped and stared.
Nails, her upper body nude, her skirt bunched at her waist, was against the wall astride a biker.
She was riding him, her breasts bouncing, and he was thrusting, his face shoved in her neck.
My heart stopped beating, my stomach clutched, and I stared, immobilized, even though my brain was screaming, Run!
“Jesus,” I heard growled from behind me.
I jumped and an arm clamped around my belly, locking me to a tall, solid body.
Nails’ eyes shot open, her head jerked our way, and she arrested mid-bounce. The face shoved into her neck came out.
And I saw it was Gash.
Minnie’s man.
Gash.
Oh God!
My body moved forward, toward the action, obviously not of its own volition.
It locked in protest but this didn’t stop it from moving.
“Not smart.” Buck was still growling, but now he was growling at Gash. “Minnie was in Toots’s office not fuckin’ fifteen minutes ago, brother.”
“Fuck,” Gash muttered, his eyes on me.
Nails’ eyes were on Buck.
“Get this, Gash, they’re tight. Minnie’s gonna be hangin’ here a lot. You take that shit somewhere else or at least get behind a fuckin’ door,” Buck ordered as he pulled us deeper into the hall.
He let go of my belly, grabbed my hand and dragged me toward them, also toward where Buck’s room was, the opposite way from the exit, where I really, really wanted to be heading.
We then moved past them in a way I could not avoid seeing Gash pull Nails off his member and set her to her feet.
We got to Buck’s room. He pulled me in and shut the door.
Then he stared at me, one hand at his hip, the other lifting so he could run it through his perfect greasy-wet-looking, thick awesome hair.
“Jesus, fuck, I don’t even know where to begin,” he muttered, dropping his hand and putting it to his other hip.
I knew where to begin.
“Who was that woman?” I asked, even though I knew.
I knew and I couldn’t believe I saw what I saw. I also couldn’t believe he saw it. I further couldn’t believe he didn’t seem angry Gash was having sex with his other woman.
Did Buck share?
Would he eventually share me?
Oh God.
I knew how that went.
“Gash,” he stated.
“No,” I whispered. “I know Gash. The woman.”
“She’s gash, Toots,” he replied.
“Sorry?”
“Cunt,” he went on, and that awful word hit me like a punch to the stomach and the blow was more powerful because it came through Buck’s lips.
“Sorry?” I whispered.
“She’s gash, pussy. She’s fucked practically everyone in the Club, in other clubs, men who aren’t in clubs. You ride a bike, she’s down to open her legs.”
Oh God.
Minnie, Pinky, and Lorie didn’t tell me that.
But maybe they didn’t know.
“Ink?” I asked.
Buck didn’t answer.
This meant yes.
I couldn’t believe this.
Ink seemed utterly devoted to Lorie.
God.
“Cruise?” I continued.
Buck’s jaw got tight.
Another yes.
God!
“You?” I whispered, even though I knew the answer to that one.
“She’s nothin’, babe. Like I said. Pussy. That’s it.”
“She’s a woman, Buck,” I told him.
“Nope, she’s pussy,” he replied.
I stared at him.
Then I closed my eyes tight.
I also turned my face away.
“Eyes to me, Toots.”
I clenched my teeth, looked at him, and he kept talking.
“That is not what we made her. That is what she made herself. This Club sees a lotta different kinds a’ women who have a lotta different kinds a’ uses. Hers is one she chose for herself. You, Lorie, Minnie, yours is different. And you all chose yours too.”
What did he mean uses?
“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered.
“It’s our way of life, babe, there’s nothing to say.”
I felt my back go straight. “How many other uses does the Club have for women?”
He shook his head.
“We’re not doin’ that shit, Toots. You know what you need to know, and you don’t know anything more. Not now. You shouldn’t’ve been back here. You can come into the Dive, back here, no fuckin’ way. Not unless you’re with me or not until I make you mine by puttin’ a ring on your finger. Wives, they got free rein, but then they know what they might see, and they know to avoid it. You. No.”