And then she sensed me. I heard the way her heart started beating faster. I could smell the perspiration start to line her perfect flesh. All those reactions were so strong it was as if they were happening to me, our Link so intense there was no denying what she was to me. What I was to her.
I could’ve stayed right in the entrance of the forest—staring at where she resided, hoping to see her again—all fucking day. And I would have if I didn’t have to go back to the manor and check on Luca. I had to make sure he was well.
I have to tell him about my mate.
I wanted to tell my brother that I found her. I wanted to let him know there was hope, that he was next. I wanted my brother to know that after all these long centuries, his mate was, in fact, out there. Waiting for him.
I hoped he felt relief, maybe a semblance of calmness that he couldn’t give up... that he shouldn’t.
I focused on my female once more, my entire life revolving around her now.
I knew what my mate looked like. Knew her scent. It was now forever ingrained in me, both of us linked in that inescapable, undeniable, and unbreakable way. There was no place in the world she could go that I wouldn’t find her. There was no place she could run that I wouldn’t give chase. And I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold back from claiming her much longer.
I just hoped before the full moon rose she would be ready to give herself to me completely.
Because I didn’t think I could control myself where she was concerned.
9
Mikalina
I stayed inside the rest of the day, not because I was afraid, but because I felt… off. Different even.
It was so strange to explain or even try to describe to someone. I was still me, still felt like I was the same person, but it was almost as if a switch had been turned on, one I had no idea about, didn’t even know existed.
I swore everything was crisper, clearer. The smells of the flowers in the garden, the scent of my tea, the warmth from the steam rising up from the mug.
I swore I could hear the kids playing outside as if I stood right beside them. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, maybe just my nerves, a very overactive imagination.
I tried to busy myself by calling my mother. She hadn’t answered, and a part of me had been relieved. That couldn’t be normal or even healthy—to not want to converse with your parents, knowing there really was no connection there, no solid foundation.
Weariness settled in my bones, and I rubbed my eyes, feeling tired all of a sudden.
For the last hour, I’d been looking over my finances, seeing how much I had saved versus how long I could realistically stay here.
Enough, but not for me to make this my home.
I didn’t want to be broke by the time I went back to the States, and at that moment when I thought about actually going home—or what I’d always considered home but maybe never felt like that—left a sour taste in my mouth, a knot in the pit of my stomach.
Home was where your heart was… or something like that.
I could’ve told myself that I was looking over my finances and all of that because I needed to just go, to understand I could still be independent when I went back to America. But the truth was deep down I knew I was looking over everything, because I didn’t want to go.
“I’m losing my damn mind," I said to no one, alone in this little kitchen, feeling isolated, although I really wasn’t.
10
Luca
I listened to my brother’s retreating footsteps and took note he moved slow but steady.
He wanted me to call him back, to open my emotions as he just had.
To give him hope that I wasn’t truly gone and mad.
I wasn’t going to reassure him though. I couldn’t.
He found his mate, and I was happy he would no longer suffer the same lonely fate we had all these centuries. But jealousy reared its ugly head at hearing he was now completely whole, even if he hadn’t claimed her yet.
He found his mate, and that’s all that mattered.
I felt fucking sick and angry at myself for feeling anything but joy and happiness for him.
I knew Ren had told me in hopes of giving me a renewed sense of purpose. I knew that without a doubt. I felt it in the way he spoke, the inclination of his words. I refused to open the door for him, but even still, his muffled words had been as if he was standing right before me, baring his soul.
I sat on the edge of the bare mattress that sat flush with the cold, stone floor, my knees bent, my feet planted firmly on the unforgiving rock.