Don't Kiss the Bride

“What’s in it for you?” Her voice wavers.

My brain goes blank. What is in it for me?

“Um…” I push my hand through my hair and pull my cigarettes out of my pocket. I’m not sure how to answer that, because while technically there’s nothing in it for me on the surface, there is on a deeper, personal level.

Redemption. The chance to help someone when I couldn’t, or didn’t, so long ago when it was right under my nose. To hopefully not let another young woman get dragged down to a bad place when she has so much potential.

I snap open my zippo, light my Marlboro, then take a long drag.

“Just want to do something nice.” I exhale smoke away from her. “That’s all.”

“But why? Why me?”

Shrugging, I say, “Why not? I think you deserve a break. You’re a good person.”

She brings her legs up and tucks her feet under her, still staring at me.

“What about Fluffle-Up-A-Gus?”

I choke on smoke and go into a sputtering fit. “What the fuck is fupagus?”

“My cat, Jude,” she says, as if I should know. “Fluffle-Up-A-Gus.”

“Bring it. The more the merrier.”

“What about your dog? Is she cat friendly?”

“I guess we’ll find out.”

Her eyebrow quirks up. “Do you live alone?”

“Yes.”

“In this town? I’d stay in my school?”

“Yes.”

A few quiet moments pass, and I assume she’s thinking of more questions. Her complexion is slowly coming back. A hesitant, shy smile eventually spreads across her face. “W-Would I change my last name?”

I hadn’t even thought of that.

“Only if you want to. That’s totally up to you.”

She exhales a long, slow breath, and closes her eyes for a few moments before opening them. “This is just… whoa. My mind is kinda blown right now, Jude. Here I was thinking my biggest decision this year would be what to wear to the prom. Not this.”

“I wasn’t exactly planning this, either. But after I saw the way you’re living, and knowing you can’t see a doctor, and finding you laying on the sidewalk, it all just rattled me. I don’t know why, but it did, and I want to do something.”

I don’t know how to explain something to her that I can’t understand myself. All I know is that I woke up after that night at her house feeling like I have to do this for her. Like it’s some kind of mission that’s been assigned to me.

“You’re serious about this? For real?” she says.

“Totally serious. I want to help you. Nothing more, I promise. I just need you to sign a prenup saying you’re not entitled to half my stuff when we split. That’s all I want in return.”

“I’m fine with that. I don’t want your stuff.”

My heart is pounding and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m worried about what I’m getting into, or something else.

“Do I get a ring?” she asks in a playful, almost hopeful tone.

“Diamond rings are for real proposals. But I guess we’ll exchange wedding bands, just to make it official. We don’t have to wear them, though.”

“Okay.”

“So… is that a yes?”

Her head tilts to the side. “Maybe… I think, yes.”

“You think?” I repeat, laughing. “Shit, I’m glad this wasn’t a real proposal. I’d be sitting here crushed right now.”

She gives my shoulder a playful shove. “You would not. I want to think about it for a day or two, okay?”

“Hell, yeah. You should think about it for as long as you want.”

“You should think about it, too.”

“I’ve been thinking about it since the night I was at your house. No one should have to live like that. I’ve got a house. I’ve got health insurance. I don’t have a wife or kids. There’s no reason why I can’t help you out.”

“Won’t it cost you money, though?”

“A little. It’s not a big deal. Don’t even worry about it.”

“Won’t it be weird that I’ll be in high school and legally married?”

“Yeah… but you don’t have to tell anyone. I’m sure as shit not going to advertise it. It’s just an arrangement, nothing more. I wouldn’t marry you for real.”

Her head slowly drops, and her long hair falls over her face as she looks down at the ground. For several long moments she stays that way, her face hidden from me.

“You okay?” I ask.

She nods, and sniffles. “Yeah.”

Her raspy whisper nearly strangles my heart.

Gently, I push her hair from her face.

I wasn’t expecting to see tears. I resist the urge to wipe them away.

“Hey, what’s wrong? I thought this would make you happy.”

She brushes her face with her fingertips and smiles weakly. “It has. So much. I’m… overwhelmed.” She looks up at me, her big blue eyes idling on mine. “No one’s ever done anything so nice for me. Not ever.”

Before I can say a word, she throws her arms around my shoulders, and her warm, damp cheek is pressing into my neck.