But, fuck it. I’ve never been known to avoid a mess.
I throw my cigarette down on the cracked walkway and stomp the embers out with my boot.
“How much stuff you got, Sparkles?” I ask.
A slow grin spreads across her face. “Just enough to fit in your truck.”
Chapter 13
Skylar
I’m not sure if it’s sad or convenient that all my belongings fit into the bed of Jude’s pickup truck. And, as luck would have it, my mother had a brand-new cat carrier stored in the bathtub under a fiber-optic Christmas tree.
She let me take the carrier as a wedding gift.
I hugged her stiffly good-bye before I left, and it made my heart hurt. She didn’t cling to me or get teary-eyed. A part of me wishes she had. No matter what, she is my mother, and I love her. Sadly, she’s become someone I have no idea how to understand, and I can’t allow her to hurt me anymore, whether it’s intentional or not.
I followed Jude to his place in my Corvette with Gus meowing loudly from her carrier, seat-belted on the passenger side. The house faded in my rearview mirror like a blurry memory, and even though a ball of emotion welled up in my throat, I knew I’d never go back there.
Jude and I carried my stuff from the truck up his pretty oak stairs to the room with the raspberry-colored walls. I didn’t have much—just my clothes, various stuffed animals, books, and toiletries. Back at my mom’s house earlier, he patiently convinced me to leave the dorm fridge. Not just because it would’ve been a bitch to get it out of the house, but because I have to learn to use the refrigerator in the kitchen. Food shouldn’t be hidden in my bedroom. Of course, the logical part of me knows that, but I panicked at first. I felt like I couldn’t breathe at the thought of leaving it behind. The small fridge was a magic box that kept food safe for me.
I did it, though. I left it there, which is exactly where it belongs.
I unlocked the three deadbolts before we climbed out the window for the last time. I’m sure within a month, my room and furniture will be buried under an avalanche of my mother’s nonsensical stuff. All traces of me will be obliterated.
I’m snapped out of my thoughts by two quick knocks on my new bedroom door.
“Come in,” I say from where I’m sitting on the floor with my clothes spread out around me, folding them neatly to put into the dressers and closet.
Jude saunters in wearing gray sweatpants and a black tank top. I wasn’t ready for his nighttime, chilling-at-home-look, but damn if he isn’t just begging to be posted on Instagram right now with hashtag #graysweats.
“You need anything before bed?” he asks, towering over me.
My mouth goes dry, which is more than I can say for other parts of my body.
I can do this. I can live with a good-looking man without getting all doe-eyed and swoony. Not to mention, he’s thirty-damn-four! Almost as old as my parents. Totally not sexy at all.
“I’m good.” I quickly divert my eyes from all things him and put the sweater I just folded on top of my pile of panties, which has been on full display since he walked in. “Just putting my stuff away. I’ve never had so much room and so many drawers.”
He smiles, but it’s more of a sad smile than a happy one. “It’s late, you don’t have to do it all tonight.”
“I’m not tired,” I say. My brain is a hurricane of anxiety, fear, hope, and excitement. There’s no way I’ll be able to sleep unless I keep myself busy enough to calm down.
He lifts his chin to Gus curled up on the bed with her catnip mouse. “She looks like she’s all settled in.”
I smile. “I’m surprised. I thought she’d be freaked out and living under the bed for weeks.”
“Tomorrow we can let her and Cassie meet. I think they’ll be okay, though.”
“I hope so.” Until then, I’m keeping her in my room with the door closed.
He yawns and squeezes the back of his neck, cracking it to the side. “Okay, I’m heading to bed. See ya tomorrow.”
“‘Night,” I say, but then stop him just as he reaches the door. “Wait… Jude?”
He turns back to me. “Mm?”
I run my tongue over the edge of my teeth. “Thank you. For everything you’re doing for me.” I feel like I should hug him, but then, I also feel like I shouldn’t.
He winks at me and grins. “Sleep tight, Sparkles.”
As soon as he closes the door behind him, I let out a long, calming breath. He really is a good guy. He didn’t leer at me sitting here with a white tee on with no bra. He didn’t make any sexual innuendos. Earlier he made sure to give me my own key. He’s done nothing but make me feel like I’m staying at a friend’s house.