“Does this make you feel better?” I ask softly.
She nods and snuggles up against me. “Yes,” she says quietly. “Thank you.”
Just because I avoid relationships doesn’t mean I don’t understand the power of a hug and feeling safe with someone. She’s scared, abandoned by her family, and living with a stranger. Showing her some human affection isn’t going to kill me.
As we watch the movie, I slowly rub my hand up and down her arm, hoping to soothe her and chase away her fears. At least for a little while. I lightly caress the side of her neck with the backs of my fingers, feeling her pulse beneath my touch. Her breathing slows and her body relaxes. At some point in the middle of the movie, she reaches for my other hand and holds it tightly.
I don’t understand why we feel so comfortable together. How we naturally just fit. Or how these little intimate touches feel totally normal and not wrong or awkward.
I’ve never felt like this.
I could close my eyes right here and fall asleep with her in my arms. And I think I’d actually like it. The usual impulse to run as far away as possible from any sort of intimacy doesn’t come when I’m with her. I’ve been waiting for it. Maybe even tempting it by letting myself have these random moments of closeness. But it doesn’t come. What does come is confusion about why my feelings are shifting out of the friend zone.
I’m about as good with confusion as I am with intimacy.
When the movie ends, she sits up and turns to look at me. Her blue eyes are red and puffy from crying, and her ponytail is more lopsided than it was earlier.
This look shouldn’t be attractive, but on her, it is. Adorably so.
“You’re a good guy, Jude,” she says softly.
She smiles when I wink at her. “Sometimes.”
“I know you didn’t sign up for this, but thank you for taking care of me.”
“I vaguely recall agreeing to something about sickness and health,” I say with a grin.
“Yeah, but they weren’t real vows.”
No, they weren’t.
But somehow, they’re turning out to be.
Chapter 21
Jude
I’m surprised to see Skylar in the kitchen the next morning at eight a.m., nibbling on a croissant while staring out the window. Looking over her shoulder, I see a chipmunk racing around on the old rock wall out back has captured her attention.
“What are you doing up so early?” I ask. “You said you wanted to sleep late today.”
She turns away from the window. “I wanted to, but I couldn’t sleep. I think last night shook me. I haven’t freaked out like that in a while. My therapist said it might happen as I start to eat new foods. I guess I was hoping it wouldn’t.”
“I don’t think it’s a setback.”
“I hope not. I don’t like that feeling at all.” She watches me as I sit in a chair and pull on my old work boots. “Are you working today? It’s Sunday.”
“No. I’m going to visit my aunt and uncle.”
“I didn’t know you had an aunt and uncle.”
“They’re older—in their seventies. Mostly out of their minds, but I check on them a few times a month to make sure they haven’t burned the house down or sent half their money to an overseas prince on the internet.”
She laughs. “They sound fun.”
“You can come with me,” I suggest casually. “If you want to.”
Her chewing pauses for a beat. “Really? You want me to meet your family?”
I shrug. “Why not? It’s no big deal. It’ll be fun. I told them about our arrangement a few weeks ago.”
Surprise flashes in her eyes. “I didn’t think you wanted anyone to know we got married.”
“I don’t want everyone to know, but they’re family. I don’t think my aunt was fully grasping the gist of the situation when I told her.”
“I guess I wouldn’t mind getting out for a while,” she says. “Will she try to feed me?”
“Probably. But she won’t get offended if you don’t eat. I wasn’t planning on staying for lunch. Just a quick visit. You should be fine. I got your back, don’t worry.”
“Okay.” She looks down at her jeans and white sweater. “Should I change?”
“No, you look great.”
“I’ll go get my shoes.”
Ten minutes later she comes back downstairs with the addition of silver chain earrings with little stars dangling from them, a purple scarf with glittery stars, and dark-purple vintage leather boots with big metal buckles on the side.
“I’m ready now. I had to add some glitz.”
Laughing, I reach for my keys on the counter, but she touches my arm.
“Let’s take my car. You can drive.”
I shake my head. My back and neck were hurting so much this morning I could barely get out of bed, so I’m not about to crawl in and out of a car that’s a foot off the ground. “No can do. My back’s still hurting way too much to get in and out of that thing.”