Don't Kiss the Bride

“Sorry.” Completely unfazed, she pulls out the cigarette that’s been tucked behind her ear. “Can I smoke in here?”

“No,” I say. “Where the hell have you been all this time?”

“Just hanging out with Jimmy in Florida. I worked as a waitress for a while. Jimmy went to prison for a few years, but we stuck together through it.”

I wait for her to say more, but she doesn’t. “That’s it?” I finally say.

I can’t believe I’ve been agonizing over her for years, and she’s been serving burgers in Florida while living with a drug dealer.

I can’t accept that. There’s gotta be more. In my mind, there was a kidnapping. Duct tape over her mouth. Hands tied. Screaming and tears. Lying awake, crying at night, missing her family. Begging to go home.

“Erin, talk to me. Did something else happen? Did someone hurt you? Did he threaten you? You can tell me anything—you know that, right? That hasn’t changed.”

Her pale eyes lift to meet mine, and that’s when I finally see the truth. The root of so many evils in my own life, and I’m damn sure hers, too.

She’s high.

“Are you using, Erin?”

“Using what?” she asks with the attitude and annoyance of a teenager caught doing something they shouldn’t be doing.

“Don’t play games with me.” I grab her arm and shove her sleeve up. My heart sinks like a boulder when I see the track marks.

Disappointment, fear, and that twisted tick of need course through my veins like venom. “Fuck, Erin. What are you doing to yourself?” I drop her arm like it just grew teeth, and she tugs her sleeve back down.

“Don’t act high and mighty, Jude. I remember what you were like back then. You partied constantly. How the hell do you think I met Jimmy?”

It’s a hit I wasn’t expecting, but it’s deserved. She’s right. Jimmy and I used to hang out in the basement, getting high and making deals. A few times, Erin wandered down there—even though I told her a hundred times to stay upstairs. Jimmy would tease and joke with her to make her giggle, and I thought he was just being cool to my little sister, not trying to pick her up.

My blood boils in my veins, and my heart feels like it’s going to explode with rage and regret.

This is my fault, and it tops the list of shit I hate about myself.

“He’s a fucking scumbag,” I say.

“Show me a man who isn’t.”

“Right in front of you,” Skylar pipes up. “Your brother’s not a scumbag. Do you have any idea how much he cares about you?”

Erin whips around to face her. “Mind your own business, bitch. Who the hell are you, anyway?”

“Hey,” I growl. “Don’t talk to her like that.”

“I don’t need some basic bitch up in my face.”

“I’m gonna go upstairs,” Skylar says, standing. “Welcome home, Erin. I’d say it’s nice to meet you, but I’m not a liar.”

I watch Skylar leave the room, wishing I could go to her, but I’ve got bigger problems to deal with.

“Is she the best you can do, Jude?” Erin taunts when Skylar’s gone.

“Actually, she’s the best I’ve ever had, but we’re not talking about her. I want to know what made you suddenly show up tonight. I’m gonna guess you ain’t here for the holidays.”

“I need some money, and a place to crash for a few days.”

“Money for what?” I ask, even though I already know the answer.

“Just to get on my feet. Jimmy ran into some shit in Florida, so we got out of there.”

I narrow my eyes at her. “What kind of shit?”

“A deal went bad, and he owes someone some money. You know how it goes.”

Unfortunately, I do, and I don’t want any part of it. My life is good now and I’m not going to let anyone fuck it up. Not even my little sister.

My next words come out of me like broken glass ripping through me and shredding my soul apart. “You can’t stay here.”

Surprise and resentment pass over her face. “This is my home, too.”

“No.” I shake my head, closing my eyes, so I don’t have to see her face. “Not anymore. It’s my home and I can’t let a user stay here. I’m clean, and I’m staying that way.”

“Come the fuck on, Jude. Don’t be a dick.” She glares at me with cold, hard eyes. “You wanted me to come home.”

“I did. Always. But not like this.” I hold my hand out. “I’m gonna need your house key back.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No. Give it to me.”

She makes a noise and spit flies out of her mouth as she wrenches the key out of her pocket and throws it at me. “You’re a fucking asshole. You said you stayed in this shithole so I’d know where to find you, in case I needed you. Well, I need you.”