She turns sharply to look at me. “So am I. I could never do that to you. You’re so important to me, in so many different ways. I—” She sucks in a breath. “I can’t picture my life without you. I don’t want to. I know our marriage isn’t real, but sometimes I wish maybe…”
She doesn’t say the words. She lets the ghost of them hang between us to haunt us. And haunt me, they do.
I’ve had those wishes too and have snuffed them out fast because of her age.
But ever since Erin hurt her and I saw her lying in that hospital bed, my feelings for her have shifted. Friendship no longer feels like enough. A side of casual sex no longer feels like enough. I want the real deal with her.
It just scares the hell out of me.
“Neither one of us know how to be in a relationship, Skylar. We’re both fucked up with abandonment issues. And the age thing does matter. It’ll be a disaster.”
Good move, Lucky. Talk her right out of wanting you.
“Or maybe it won’t be.” Her voice is laced with hope. “Maybe we’re perfect for each other.”
Her body trembles next to mine, and I’m not sure if it’s because she’s nervous for saying what she said, or if she’s freezing.
“It’s getting cold,” I say abruptly, jumping off the hood. “Let’s go back in the truck.” Grabbing her waist, I lift her to the ground and pull her faux-fur-lined hood up over her head. I hold on to it and stare down into her eyes. Her cheeks are pink from the frigid air and the moon is shimmering off her glittery eye shadow.
She looks magical and beautiful and she’s looking at me like she’s making a thousand wishes and every single one of them includes me.
Her hope completely shatters me.
I’m so tired of putting walls up.
“Do you really believe that?” I say, moving my hands to cup her cheeks. “That we might be perfect for each other?”
A slow smile spreads across her face. “Yes,” she whispers. “I do.”
Her voice—her words—chase the chill from my veins.
“Do you think… maybe we should try to find out?”
“Lucky,” she says softly, winding her arms around my neck. “Wasn’t that the whole point of this date thing tonight?”
When we get home, we turn off all the lights and walk upstairs together, pausing every other step to kiss. We stop in front of her bedroom door and I unzip her coat, sliding it easily off her shoulders. She does the same with my leather jacket, then fixes her big eyes on mine. A sweet, yet slightly curious smile dances on her lips.
“I loved tonight,” she says, leaning back against the wall just outside her door.
I hook my finger through the belt loop of her jeans. “I did, too. Next time you can pick what we do.”
She unbuttons my shirt to the middle of my chest, and slowly walks two fingers—playfully but sensually—up to my shoulder. “When is next time?”
Pulling her to me by her belt loop, I lean my forehead against hers. “How’s tomorrow night?” I whisper, closing my eyes and inhaling her. She smells of winter air and jasmine, and I want to drag her to the nearest bed and rip her clothes off.
I won’t though.
I want her to know I can be happy with going slow.
With knowing there will be more days and nights together.
“Tomorrow is good,” she says on a soft breath, and tilts her face up.
“Tomorrow is perfect.”
“Maybe we can cook dinner together, light some candles and eat in the sunroom, in front of all the windows.”
I stroke her hair and kiss her. “That sounds great. Maybe you have a cool skirt in that closet of yours?”
She smiles. “As a matter of fact, I do. Maybe you could wear that black sweater I like?”
“I can do that.”
“I like how it makes your shoulders look so huge.”
“You got a shoulder fetish?” I tease.
“I think I have a you fetish.”
She makes my heart pound with how much she truly wants me.
I cover her mouth with mine, kissing her with a slow, burning hunger. And damn, her lips taste delicious with the flavor of hope, and the possibility of next year on them.
Chapter 38
Jude
“You’re coming for Christmas dinner, right?”
I hold the phone to my ear with my shoulder as I spread out the blueprints for this new residential job I’m right in the middle of.
“I don’t know, Aunt Suze... I was thinking of staying home this year.”
I spend Christmas with my aunt and uncle every year, but I’ve been mulling around the idea of staying home and spending it with Skylar.
The past few weeks have been up and down. While things have been great between me and Skylar, I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything that happened with my sister, and Skylar’s been having a hard time mentally. She hasn’t admitted it, but I see it. She walks around the house locking the doors, then checks them every few hours to make sure they’re still locked. She’s terrified to go in the garage, but that’s actually working in my favor now because I’ve been working on a secret project in there.