I miss my face-to-face appointments with my therapist.
I miss all things Jude—our movie nights, his damn sexy smirks, his gray eyes, having dinner together, listening to music, hearing about his day, his quiet intensity.
Ugh.
I’ve enjoyed spending time with my father, Lynn, and the ever-quiet Sam, but their house doesn’t feel like home to me. It’s too big, too cold, too motel-ish.
For almost a month, I’ve been at my dad’s, and a little internal clock is telling me it’s time to make a decision. I can stay here in Connecticut and get my own place; start over in an entirely new atmosphere with my father and his family. Or, I can get an RV and trek across the country, leaving everything and everyone behind. But somewhere along the way, the appeal of doing that has faded. Being alone in a big box on wheels feels exactly like that now—being alone.
Alone doesn’t seem exciting anymore.
Instead, I find myself thinking about staying in New Hampshire. Staying close to Megan. Taking on more responsibility at the boutique. And even though I know running into Jude from time to time would be the equivalent of getting stabbed in the heart over and over again, it’s almost better than not being near him.
How odd it is that I have enough money to do basically anything I want, and all I want to do is go back home?
I thought being away from Jude and the constant emotional rollercoaster of our relationship would be helpful, but being away from him is even worse.
I’m contemplating all these options while sitting in the kitchen, watching my father prune his perfectly round shrubs in the backyard, when my cell phone rings.
“Hello?” I say.
“Skylar?” I instantly recognize Aunt Suzy’s voice.
“Aunt Suzy,” I say. “What a surprise. How are you?”
“Al and I are both doing well. How are you doing? How are things with your father?”
“It’s good. I’m glad I came to reconnect with him. We’ve made some great progress.”
“Honey that’s wonderful,” she says, and then pauses. “I absolutely hate to make phone calls like this, but I’m afraid I don’t have a choice.”
A chill courses through my veins. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine, but Lucky is in bad shape.”
I inhale a breath then slowly release it. Aunt Suzy is obviously still hell-bent to ship us, even though she knows, from the last time we spoke, that me and Jude haven’t been talking much other than to just say hi via text.
“I miss him, too, Aunt Suzy but this is for the best. Last time I talked to him, he was excited about taking over the bar. I think if we both just stay focused on the positives, we’ll be okay.”
Reciting advice from my therapist is easy.
Actually believing it is a different story.
“No sweetheart, it’s not that. He was in an accident on the job site. I can’t believe this was his last project and then this happens.”
“Wait, what?” Every cell of my body has jumped into a panic. “Did you say he was hurt? Hurt how?”
“Apparently he fell through a floor. He hit his head and was out for almost five minutes according to that guy Bob who works for him. He has a severe concussion. When we got to the hospital, he kept saying where am I, where am I, where am I, repeatedly for hours after it happened. He was very disoriented. Al and I were terrified he had brain damage.”
“Oh my God!” I say, running up to my room. “Is he alright? Is he home?”
“He’s still in the hospital. He’s doing better, but I thought you should know.”
“When did this happen?” I grab my suitcases and start throwing my things into them.
“Yesterday morning. He was pretty bad all day, having difficulty remembering things and slurring his words. He was dizzy and vomiting off and on. But today he seems much better. Al and I just left the hospital so he could rest.”
My heart is racing so fast I feel like I’m going to pass out. “Is he okay, though? Is he going to be okay?”
“The doctor said he’ll be fine; he just needs to rest and take it easy for a few weeks. They said he can go home tomorrow or the day after. He also has a hairline skull fracture, a fractured tailbone, and his back is very bruised.”
“Oh my God,” I say again, wondering how he fell through a floor. “I’m leaving here as soon as I can. I have to be there with him.”
“I don’t mean to worry you, honey, and I know things aren’t all rainbows with you two, but I thought you’d want to be there. And I’m sure he’d feel better if you were there.”
“I wish you had called me sooner. I would’ve come right away.”
“I know, we just weren’t sure if it was serious. We didn’t want to interrupt you when you’re visiting your family.”