Tears stream down her face. “She was in your room. I saw her come out.”
“She must have snuck in there when I went downstairs to answer the door. She was not in my room, not even for a second.”
“But why would she do that? She’s never been a devious person, or a liar. Not ever.”
My heart falls into my stomach. “And I am?”
She shakes her head and puts her hand over my heart. “No, I’m having a hard time believing that, too. Unless this has all been an act, the past few months with you.”
“For what? What would I gain from it?”
“I don’t know,” she cries. “I don’t know what to believe.”
I run my hand through my hair and do a quick circle, wishing she would let me inside, and that asshole would leave.
“Ivy, I think Paul put her up to this. He’s messing with your head, trying to break us up. He knew exactly what to do to make you doubt me. He knows how scared you are of getting hurt again, after what he did to you. He set this all up. I know it.”
She shakes her head wildly back and forth. “He wouldn’t use one our kids to do that.”
I put my arms around her, ignoring her protests and squirming. “I think he would. I think he did.” I kiss the top of her head and smooth her hair down. “Please, you have to trust me, Ivy. I love you. I love the kids. I would never hurt any of you. I don’t want to lose you.”
Her face presses into my chest, and her arms circle my waist.
“I love you, too. I just don’t know what to believe. This looks really bad. Even you have to admit that. I’m confused.”
I force her to look up at me. “Believe me. Please. You know my heart better than anyone.”
Her big watery eyes stare up into mine, deep pools of sad blue.
“Just give me some time to figure this out. I have to talk to Macy alone.”
“Don’t make me leave. Get rid of him, and let’s figure this out together, okay?”
“He’s leaving. Lukas, just go home. Give me some time to think and straighten this out.”
“I want you to put your ring back on. I have it with me.”
She shakes her head and steps back away from me. “No.” She sniffles and wipes at her eyes, her makeup running down her cheeks. “I can’t do that, not until I figure this out.”
My vision blurs as pain fills my chest, squeezing my heart. “You don’t know what you’re doing, Ivy. You’re killing us. You’re killing me.”
IVY
A LIFETIME OF DAYS PASSES BY. Days wasted, spent doubting myself, doubting my daughter, doubting Lukas. With every day that passes, I can feel the damage being done, not sure if I can fix it. Not sure if any of us can fix it.
I feel sick. Sick to my stomach. Sick in my head. Sick in my heart. Torn between two people I thought I could trust.
I saw my daughter walk out of my fiancée’s bedroom, naked, with nothing but a towel on. I cannot get that image out of my head. I just see it over and over and over again, unstopping. She didn’t deny they had been together. She asked him if he was coming back upstairs. Right in front of me.
Macy may not be perfect, but she’s never been a liar, not even as a little girl. She would tell the truth and just deal with the repercussions of her actions.
I know she was mad at me when I tried to keep her from going to the party with her new boyfriend. Could she have been mad enough that she would try to get back at me by fooling around with Lukas, or pretending that she did? I can’t even fathom my daughter doing that to me. And how did she know I would be there? That was a last minute decision on my part, to surprise Lukas with coffee. Did she think that quickly and set up a scheme that fast? I can’t picture it her doing that. Not at all. Unless I just don’t know her as well as I think I do.
But Lukas . . . my sweet Lukas with his dark sensual side. Would he touch my daughter? I’ve known from the start that she had a crush on him. Did that ever go away? Or did I make it worse, having them spend time together, trying to integrate him into our family? Could that have fostered her feelings for him, and she just pretended to be okay with it all, just so she could get closer to him? Macy is beautiful, with a perfect body. Any man would be taken with her, and have a hard time saying no to her if she offered herself to him and made herself available. If she was drunk and flirting with him, was she able to press the right buttons to get him to go over the edge with her?
Nausea overwhelms me as I try to force myself to envision that scenario—Lukas touching her, taking her into his bedroom, kissing her, and touching her. No. Lukas doesn’t do quickies. Lukas is a lover in every sense of the word. He can’t do meaningless sex. Unless something has been building between them for a while now, and I was blind to it . . .
Could he have grown bored with me? Maybe Macy, being young, sexy, and carefree was more appealing to him. Like Charlene was to Paul. Macy is so into the band; she would love that lifestyle with him, and fit into it as the young beautiful girlfriend of the rock star. Not like me, the older, boring mom that sits on the balcony with him and drinks lattes.
You’re what I want. The stability and safety I need. The only one I would trust my heart with. You can make all my dreams come true.
Those words he told me when he put the ring on my finger play over and over in my mind, acting as the north star of my lost heart and soul right now. He meant them with every part of himself. I know that without a doubt. I felt it straight into my bones. The little boy in the attic, playing with antiques, teaching himself beautiful music, believing he was protected by gargoyles, grew into a man who wanted one thing: someone to love him enough to never leave him.
I am that person. He believes in that. He trusted in that. I promised that to him. And in return, he offered me everything I want and need, and then some. He gave me the fairytale I dreamed about.
He would never risk that. Never.
Would he?
My heart says no, but then I have to turn to the other side of this coin and face a horrible fact. My own daughter lied to me and set out to hurt me.
Macy has been staying with Shelley for almost a month, when she finally shows up at the house again, and when she does, she’s in a new car.
“Where did you get this?” I demand, stepping outside, looking over the shiny new red car in the driveway.
“Daddy bought it for me. He didn’t want me driving my piece of crap car to college. He said it wasn’t safe.”
“Really? Is that all?” Of course. It’s all clear now. Tremors of rage course through me.
“Yes.”
She walks toward the house, and I follow her inside, hot on her heels.
“Sit down. We’re going to talk.”
She turns and rolls her eyes at me. “Mom, I’m tired. I’ve been sleeping on Shelly’s couch for weeks, waiting for things to diffuse.”
“Diffuse?” I repeat. “Sit down right now. This isn’t over.”
Throwing her purse onto the couch in a huff, she sits and stares at the floor. “Mom, I’m sorry about Lukas.”
“Are you, Macy?” I try to keep my voice even. Don’t blow up.
“Yes, of course I am. I didn’t mean for it to happen . . . it just did.”
I sit next to her and try to remain calm. “Tell me what happened. All of it.”
“What? That’s sick, Mom.”
“I want you to tell me. Now. If you don’t, I’m going to have that car towed right out of the driveway.”
She shoots daggers at me. “You can’t do that.”
“Watch me.”
She squirms, playing with the wrist strap on her phone. “I went to the party with Brent, even though you told me I couldn’t go. I was mad at you. I’m eighteen. You can’t tell me what to do.”
“As long as you live under my roof, you follow my rules. Continue.”
She sighs. “I had a few drinks, and he was being a jerk to me. There were a lot of kids at the party, but no one from my school. There were a lot of skanks there, and I found h
im fooling around with one. We had a big fight, and he took off with her and left me there. I had no way to get home, and I didn’t want to call you and hear the ‘I told you so’, so I called Lukas to come and get me. He wanted me to tell you what happened, but I said no, I’d call you in the morning.”
“Then what? Were you drunk?”
“Yes. Not like fall on my face drunk, but I was a little messed up. He said I could sleep in his guest room. When we got there, he offered me some clothes to sleep in, and I took off my clothes and kissed him.”
My blood goes cold. “Why?”
She shrugs. “Because he’s hot. And I was mad at you.”
“Then what happened?”
“We kissed some more, and then we did it. I fell asleep in his bed and woke up when I heard you downstairs.”
“You did it?” I repeat.
“Yeah, I was pretty messed up, though, and can’t remember everything that happened.”
“So he took you into his bedroom?”
“Yeah.” Uncertainty starts to edge into her voice.
“Macy, this is serious.”
“I know.”
“And you slept in there?”
“Yes. I woke up when he got up to get the door when you showed up.”