He turns back to me. “Well?” he asks.
“I think both scenarios are equally upsetting,” I reply, wondering what the heck is happening on this park bench with these two. Did they arrange this?
He leans back against the bench. “Indeed, they are.”
We sit in silence, watching the birds and squirrels scavenge for food around us. A tiny black feather drifts from above and lands on my leg. I pick it up and hold it gently between my fingers, admiring its soft downy fuzz.
“You know what they say?” Asher asks, standing up.
“About what?”
“A lost feather means an angel is near.”
I stare at the feather and think of all the little black feathers I’ve found in random places over the past few months. Are they a sign? He leans down and kisses the top of my head. “You need to go fill that hole in his heart, okay? You’re family now.”
His friend stands up and stretches. “Nice meeting you.” He nods his chin at me.
“You too . . .” I say, not having a clue who he is. Maybe another brother or cousin? He looks like he could be part of the band, but he definitely wasn’t there the night I saw them at the club. I tuck the feather into my jacket pocket so I can put it with the others in my nightstand.
“One more thing before I go,” Asher says. “He’s going to need your help with something. If you could do it with him, it would mean a lot.”
I look up at him and frown, confused by all of his strange vagueness. “Help with what? Is he okay?”
“He’s okay, sweetness. Just be there for him.”
“All right . . . I will.” I’ll do anything to make things right with Lukas again.
He smiles at me. “You guys are gonna be okay. Set a wedding date soon, so I can make some plans.”
Before I can answer, he and his friend have left and are walking down the pathway to the park exit. I watch them until I can’t see them anymore, wondering where they’re going and if it was a coincidence that Asher found me here. What are the chances of that?
IVY
Me: Can I come over tonight? I really want to see you. And talk.
Lukas: No
My heart drops.
Lukas: Come now. My last appt is leaving in ten mins. I don’t want to wait.
Shit. I can’t tell if this is good or bad.
I tell my manager I have an appointment, and leave the office in a hurry, heading straight to Lukas’ house. I don’t have to pick up Tommy from school, because Paul is picking him up to take him for the weekend, which I’m not happy about after the stunt he pulled with Macy. What if he tries another maneuver like that and uses Tommy? We don’t speak to each other at all since the incident with Macy, so all communication is done via our lawyers. I honestly do not even want him to have joint custody, but my lawyer says that will be a hard fight to win, even after how he manipulated Macy. The lawyer also is afraid that provoking Paul will make him drag Lukas into the situation and try to make him look like a bad influence around Tommy, and that’s the last thing I want.
My hands are shaking with nervousness when I get to Lukas’ house and ring the bell. It’s been almost a month since we’ve seen each other. Despite Asher’s riddling comments, what if Lukas just doesn’t want me anymore?
When he opens the door and lets me in, he looks different to me, like he has aged a bit. He looks tired, but also bigger and more muscular, as if he’s been hitting the gym more than his norm. He looks even more attractive to me now, if that’s even possible.
He says nothing but quickly pulls me into a tight hug in the middle of his front foyer. I wrap my arms around him, so scared that this could be goodbye. I breathe him into me, missing him, his scent, and his embrace.
“We have to talk,” he whispers.
“Yes. We do.”
We move into the living room and sit on the big couch together. He holds my hand but seems to be struggling for words, so I take the lead.
“Lukas, I’m sorry. I know I hurt you, and I can’t apologize for that enough. I just didn’t know who to believe. I love and trusted you both. Trying to figure out which one of you wasn’t telling the truth was hard for me. She’s my daughter.”
He stares past my face, expressionless.
“You were right,” I continue. “Paul bribed Macy with a new car. She planned the entire thing.”
He finally speaks. “I already knew that, Ivy. The problem is, you didn’t believe me.”
An emotional vice clenches my heart. My God, I’ve hurt him so badly, and I swore to him I never would.
“I can only apologize and try to start new. I’m so sorry. She’s my daughter, Lukas. You don’t know how torn I was, not knowing who to believe. She’s never lied to me before.”
His eyes switch up to meet mine, and they are filled with sadness. “Neither have I.”
I squeeze his hand tighter. “I know. It just looked so bad, her coming out of your room with no clothes on. What was I supposed to think?”
“You threw my ring at me. You thew me away.” He takes a deep breath. “You broke my fucking heart.”
My heart pounds with fear against my ribs. “I didn’t mean that. I was scared and confused. All the shit that Paul did to me just bubbled up to the surface.”
“I’ve been scared and confused my entire life, Ivy. Until I met you. And then, you went and tore my heart out. You wouldn’t even listen to me. You made me talk to you out on your front steps, while your ex was inside.”
I cringe at that memory. Why did I do that? He has every right to be furious with me for that, and I deserve it.
“I know, and it was wrong. I can see that so clearly now.” How could I have been so blind? “But, that day, I just couldn’t get my head together.”
“I’m having a hard time dealing with all of this—losing Katie, losing you, Vandal and his problems with his new chick. I can’t fix everyone, especially when I’m broken myself.”
“Lukas, you don’t have to. Vandal can take care of himself. He’s stronger than you think. And we can fix us, if you still want to. I do.”
Saying nothing, he stares at the wall for a few minutes. I know he’s thinking, because that’s what he does. He thinks. But every second that ticks by scares me, not knowing what he’s going to say or do.
“I can forgive you, because I know how torn you were. I had a hard time believing Macy could do something like that myself, and I actually witnessed it. So, yeah, I get it.” I squeeze his hand tighter as he talks. “But, in the future, you have to trust me. There can be no gray area. I cannot . . . I will not be with someone who doesn’t trust me. I need you on my side, no matter what, just like I would be for you. No fucking question.”
“You’re right. You shouldn’t accept any less.”
He sighs and rubs at his eyes.
“I’m so tired. There’s more going on than you know.” I hate the numbness in his voice. I want his smile back and his sexy raspy voice. I want to feel his hands on me.
“Tell me. Please.”
He licks his lips nervously. “It changes a lot.”
Fear ripples through my body, but I nod assuredly. “It’s okay. I love you. I still want to marry you. That hasn’t changed.”
“I want that, too, but it’s a little more complicated now.” He takes a deep breath. “I have to know if we can get through this together, so I can make a decision. So we can both make a decision.”
I can’t follow where he’s going with this conversation. “I’m confused,” I admit. “Did something happen?”
He shuts his eyes for a long moment. “Yes.”
“You’re scaring me.”
“Rio came by last week.”
I tilt my head at him, not sure who that is. “Rio?” I repeat.
“She’s a friend of mine, but I was also involved with her before I met you.”
Oh, no. My heart pounds, knowing that what he’s going to tell me is going to change our lives forever.